Remortgage hell

[Cluelessfirstimer]

Trying to remortgage and struggling. Mostly because of DPs finances. He's got himself into a mess - some his fault some not so much.
Made redundant (not his fault)
Maxed out two credit cards (half his fault - had to live while finding a job but he had other options before jumping to CCs)
Wasted the little he did have in savings (definitely his fault - decided to spend a load of money on DIY that didn't need doing )
I'm lying awake at night stressing about it. I'm a worrier anyway but this is crippling me. We have a 1 year old, waited until we were financially secure to have him and buy a house, and now i feel sick to my stomach that this is happening to us. Not just us. Thousands like us. Its fucking unfair.
DP has now taken a low paying driving role to just get by (his industry is struggling and mass redundancies are happening )My job pays ok - (62k) but with childcare and his debt repayments we are royally fucked.

What happens? We go onto the variable rate? Which we absolutely cannot afford.
Our broker is working on it but the conversation with him wasn't great.

Any advice welcome. Or maybe just a virtual hug. ..

I just want to say that DD and I lead a very low-key life in terms of what we spend on entertainment. We have lunch/dinner out maybe three times a year and a cafe trip is less than monthly. It's made these things a real treat.

We spend a lot of our free time outdoors, in the woods, nature reserves, beach etc. having a brilliant time.

Our holidays are either camping or staying with friends (we are incredibly lucky to have some particularly lovely friends who live by a nice beach).

Our free time is just pootling about, going on 'adventures' (print out a local map, pack a picnic and set off), sitting drawing together, playing board games etc.

DD is a very happy little thing and loves the things we do. We were talking about 'happy places' recently and DD said hers were our local woods and her friend's house. Young kids really delight in the small things...

That’s my point - do you think your best chance to stay afloat and keep your child from being homeless is to remain legally tethered to this man? He’ll continue to run up more debt and put you in more financial peril. Surely severing your legal and financial connections to him pronto is the best way to stop him dragging you down further? It may be one step back to take another few forward but honestly, a man like this is never going to do anything but compromise your security. You can’t rely on him so you need to rely on yourself. Once you’ve signed up to a new deal, then what? He continues to run up debt and be a general irresponsible waster but you’re now trapped by a new fixed rate mortgage deal. I get that you’re panicked right now, I really do. But grabbing a fixed rate deal and doubling down on your commitment to this man and his debts seems like lunacy to me. You need to make plans to get away not lock yourself in further.

calm down, she just wanted some advice on a remortgage - she doesn't need to leave her husband!

@SunnyFrost

Wtf

Yes you should be able to product swap with your current provider without too much hassle? I just did and they didn't ask me a thing.

You do not need a broker for this. Just stick with your current bank and sign a new fixed-term deal. Easy and simple

Tbf shes not wrong. I supported one like this for years, he used to drop my baby at his mothers whilst i was at work to shag someone
he met In Starbucks. What better pick me up when their egos are dented than an affair apparently !

I’m not sure what’s so shocking about pointing out that a financially irresponsible waster who is too proud and/or lazy to get extra work to keep a roof over his family’s head, is not a good husband and that staying with him probably means a slow descent into worse financial ruin.

Have you read the OP’s posts? It’s horrific what he’s done/ doing to his family.

To redux with our current lender we just went into out mortgage account online and accepted the offer. Hope it works out ok

Came here to say this. Do this bit yourself.

I think OP earns too much?