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Original poster

Remortgage hell

61 replies

Cluelessfirstimer · 21/06/2023 09:20

Trying to remortgage and struggling. Mostly because of DPs finances. He's got himself into a mess - some his fault some not so much.
Made redundant (not his fault)
Maxed out two credit cards (half his fault - had to live while finding a job but he had other options before jumping to CCs)
Wasted the little he did have in savings (definitely his fault - decided to spend a load of money on DIY that didn't need doing )
I'm lying awake at night stressing about it. I'm a worrier anyway but this is crippling me. We have a 1 year old, waited until we were financially secure to have him and buy a house, and now i feel sick to my stomach that this is happening to us. Not just us. Thousands like us. Its fucking unfair.
DP has now taken a low paying driving role to just get by (his industry is struggling and mass redundancies are happening )My job pays ok - (62k) but with childcare and his debt repayments we are royally fucked.

What happens? We go onto the variable rate? Which we absolutely cannot afford.
Our broker is working on it but the conversation with him wasn't great.

Any advice welcome. Or maybe just a virtual hug. ..

OP posts:
Rollercoaster1920 · 21/06/2023 10:34

I'd echo what others have said about going direct to your current provider to see about the options there. You want to avoid going on to the expensive SVR rate which will take you deeper into trouble. The lender might do a number of things, including a payment holiday, an extension of the term (to get the payments down), a change to another product (interest only?).

What you need to do is have a clear budget for where you are now to talk through with the lender. So do that.

Look at minimising outgoings (cancel any and all monthly subscriptions now, prioritise repayment of high interest debt (Credit cards?), sell stuff you don't need (2nd car, old toys, expensive sports equipment) to clear the debt.

You have a good salary, your husband has a driving job, so you have a decent joint income - so this should be solvable. You can do this!

MammaTo · 21/06/2023 10:34

We’ve stayed with our current provider and not had to share any financial information as I’m on maternity leave and CBA going through the rigmarole of proving my income when I go back to work and partner is self employed too.

AnotherDelphinium · 21/06/2023 10:35

Depending on how much your husband is taking home, would it be better to save on childcare and have him as a stay-at-home dad until they’re in school?

3BSHKATS · 21/06/2023 10:37

Will your current lender not offer you a new fixed rate ? Mine did

Rollercoaster1920 · 21/06/2023 10:37

RE: Childcare. You might be better off with him working evenings in a bar or restaurant but then looking after your child during the day so you don't pay childcare.

3BSHKATS · 21/06/2023 10:39

The broker is getting involved unnecessarily. Ho direct

CuriouslyDifferent · 21/06/2023 10:40

Not all brokers are created equal.

Our broker took 2 months to find us the “best deal” with lots of back and forwards for info more info and even more info….

we walked into Barclays on a Tuesday and had the actual best deal later that day….

Great brokers are great - the rest….. are a source of grief.

Mamofteenager · 21/06/2023 10:43

Defiantly go direct to your current lender and look at product transfers. As long as no changes to amount of borrowing they do not do credit checks or affordability checks. Took me all of 10 mins to transfer mine

Original poster
Cluelessfirstimer · 21/06/2023 10:57

Thank you all for the advice. Honestly the broker seems to have just caused us more grief and stress!
DP won't work evenings or give up work 🤨 I guess it's a pride thing. That could have been an option but its off the table.

Just spoke to our lender and felt a bit of relief. They guided me where to go and assured me they have products available we can switch to today within 15 minutes. Gulping rates but that is what it is. Not much better anywhere else!

Doing quick maths its going to be super tight and shit until DP sorts out debts and gets another job close to his old salary but we can just about survive it. Same boat as everyone else.

Childcare is temporary at least for another 2 years.

The above PPs about baby remembering laughing and having days at the park/free day trips make me feel better. I forget children aren't materialistic judgemental dicks like us adults.

Thank you all so much. Honestly. I am such a worrier and panic too easily probably so these kind words and advice really help me get back to level head

OP posts:
ToddlerMumma · 21/06/2023 11:02

I've just switched deals with my current lender which means you can generally skip the affordability checks. Monthly payment has increased by £400 and interest from 1.5% to 4.94% but it's the best I could find (and afford, just) I asked about switching to interest only but that was a big no unless I earned over £75k (I do not) my advice, call
Your lender and see what your options are. Good luck x

yut · 21/06/2023 11:12

So pleased we could help Flowers

Calmdown14 · 21/06/2023 11:14

You might be best to take a term that gets you past the expensive childcare stage and allows you time to reset your finances.

That way you can search for a more competitive deal next time around.

There aren't many of those to be had just now anyway!

SunnyFrost · 21/06/2023 11:16

I honestly couldn’t look my husband in the eye if he was so financially feckless to put our family in unnecessary hardship, then decided he was too good to work evenings to help the situation. This is marriage ending stuff. Why are you the one posting for advice and losing sleep - I bet he’s not over on Dadsnet tearing his hair out about how to keep a roof over his child’s head.

Are you sure that locking into another fixed rate with this man is the right move? What’s he going to do next to endanger yours and your child’s future and security?

Ginmonkeyagain · 21/06/2023 11:28

Our first mortgage deal ran out whilst I was unemployed (was made redundant the month before) and our affordability was based on my income (Mr Monkey was earning but was a contractor) We simply refixed with our current lender and there was no issue as our payment history was good.

Original poster
Cluelessfirstimer · 21/06/2023 11:34

SunnyFrost · 21/06/2023 11:16

I honestly couldn’t look my husband in the eye if he was so financially feckless to put our family in unnecessary hardship, then decided he was too good to work evenings to help the situation. This is marriage ending stuff. Why are you the one posting for advice and losing sleep - I bet he’s not over on Dadsnet tearing his hair out about how to keep a roof over his child’s head.

Are you sure that locking into another fixed rate with this man is the right move? What’s he going to do next to endanger yours and your child’s future and security?

Whilst I am absolutely furious at some of his financial choices, my priority right now is to keep a roof over our child's head and stay afloat

OP posts:
Original poster
Cluelessfirstimer · 21/06/2023 11:36

Ginmonkeyagain · 21/06/2023 11:28

Our first mortgage deal ran out whilst I was unemployed (was made redundant the month before) and our affordability was based on my income (Mr Monkey was earning but was a contractor) We simply refixed with our current lender and there was no issue as our payment history was good.

Thank you - that's reassuring. We have never ever missed a payment. Never over paid but payments have never been missed

OP posts:
Gemstonebeach · 21/06/2023 11:36

When our rates came off, we simply picked new ones online. I thought a remortgage was moving banks? You shouldn’t be rechecked just to lock in a new fixed term rate?

Heronwatcher · 21/06/2023 11:40

Sorry OP but another one chiming in to say that your DH needs to her either a better job or a weekend/ evening job to pay off the credit cards. You can’t let him undermine your financial security just to avoid an argument. I know of loads of middle class families who are getting second jobs working at Waitrose/ Tesco, or doing bar shifts, tutoring etc to get them through the rough patch. A couple of weekend shifts could make all the difference to getting the credit cards paid off and I bet you’d do it in his position. I’d be telling him he contributes to the family finances properly or he moves out so you can rent his room out to a lodger.

Thatbloomindog · 21/06/2023 11:44

Try just renewing with your current lender. If you’ve kept up to date with payments they won’t recheck everything. It might not be the best rate but will be better than variable.
we just did this with NatWest and it only went up by £70 pcm

pecanpie101 · 21/06/2023 11:44

Not sure if anyone has suggested taking an interest only mortgage for the next fixed term to give you a little bit respite? Can always go back to full repayment when you next remortgage and you are in a better financial position

legalbeagleneeded · 21/06/2023 11:50

Can't you just stick with your existing lender - you don't have to stay on variable. Consumer duty is comibg in at the end of july so they will have to offer that then even if they don't now. The obligatipn is to enable customers to achieve a good outcome.

legalbeagleneeded · 21/06/2023 11:52

Sorry just read that is what you are doing!!

Talia99 · 21/06/2023 12:07

AnotherDelphinium · 21/06/2023 10:35

Depending on how much your husband is taking home, would it be better to save on childcare and have him as a stay-at-home dad until they’re in school?

I was just thinking this. Or since he’s prepared to do a driving job (and good for him taking what he can get), maybe he needs to take over full time child care and then get a job evenings or weekends for some extra money.

You’d have to work out whether it’s worth doing but it might be worth a look.

Talia99 · 21/06/2023 12:14

Sorry, I had the page up and went away from my phone and because I didn’t refresh didn’t realise that loads of people had already suggested this and you’d explained your DH was refusing to do it.