Family wants me to give up my social house and I'm not - wwyd?

[spicy2001]

I currently rent a three bedroom social housing property and I live on my own. Most of the rent is paid for by universal credit and I have to pay 25% bedroom tax which is very affordable to me which is for two rooms and a shortfall of £30.55p.

I did speak to a housing officer and they said I am legally allowed to occupy it, and as long as I pay the rent on time, tax and shortfall, then everything is fine. I don't feel guilty for occupying this three bedroom house, it's been my home since I was born.

Recently, I noticed that my family were talking a lot about me downsizing. I asked why are they talking about me downsizing? They said because I don't need this property and have to downsize.

I explained I'm legally allowed to stay here, this is my property and not yours. I get that I don't need this property but I'm staying here because I'm allowed too. I found out that they actually joined a site called "home swapper" and a site called "glass bob" my sibling set up an account using her email address to advertise my property. If I'm correct, I've never joined these so I don't know 100% but they're platforms where you can do mutual exchange and advertise your property.

I phoned my housing association and explained the situation, they've started an investigation and they are speaking to various departments to see if they can do it from the end to see if they can do anything as they approved it but they don't know if they can disapprove it.

The other day a tenant from another part of my cul-de-sac came round and told me she knows I'm downsizing and she has a friend whose currently living in a one bedroom flat with his wife and they've got a one year old daughter and another baby on the way. I explained to this person my family have been trying to get me to downsize to a one bedroom flat and I'm not actually looking to downsize so I won't swap with them but told her I do sympathize with their situation.

She told all my neighbours about her friend and now all the neighbours are peed off at me because I'm not downsizing. My family are also peed of that I'm not downsizing. As far as I'm concerned I don't care as I have the legal right to stay here for as long as I like or want.

I just wanted to know though what would you do if you was in my situation?

Sorry but whilst I thinking your family sound like a nightmare and they have no right to do that, I think that’s it’s wrong that you are occupying a 3 bed house that could go to a family in need.

It might be fine legally but I think it’s wrong. You don’t need a 3 bed house, there’s a family out there that does. You’re being selfish.

Its very easy to make moral judgements here but I bet over 90% of those saying you should downsize wouldn't if it was them.

To be honest, you'd be crazy to leave your home at this point. You are young and may well have a family in time.

YANBU to think your family are being fraudulent dicks and you’re living within the law.

The government policy that allows for lifetime council tenancies in situations like yours is BU though.

What your family did was wrong but so are you for under occupying a family home which no doubt there is a shortage of for other tenants in your area. You should be looking to exchange for somewhere smaller so someone who needs that much space can have it.
By the way what makes a house a home is the people and stuff in it, not the building itself.
In my area they have introduced new tenancy agreements which will mean in time they will be able to rehouse tenants who are under occupying like you are. As far as I'm concerned it can't come soon enough.

Thank you for your kind comment! I really do appreciate it!

Also families in need of housing are not your responsibility. Yes it would be nice if we all looked after each other like that but in the real world we don't do we. Its dog eat dog. Many of us have more than we need. Some obscenely so. Im more incensed by those who legally avoid paying taxes than I am by someone staying in a 3 bed HA house. Look after yourself OP its what everyone else does im afraid.

I'm in a 2 bed social house and if any of my family or friends were interfering the way yours are they would be told to fuck off and mind their own business. End of story.

I do not understand the motive of your family at all? What to they gain by forcing you to downsize?

Personally, I would hold onto the house. One day you may have your own family and then you will end up lile the others, stuck in a flat with no room.

Do not give up HA to move into private renting - its a nightmare out there.

OP, I think your family are probably jealous of your situation. Tell them the HA are investigating the fraud. Many people on here are saying it is immoral that you have all this room, but most people ( including me) would do the same in your situation. Moving and getting a house how you want it costs a lot of money.
Perhaps you should have a couple of children, while on your own and people won’t complain - only joking.

Do not give up your HA tenancy - maybe swop to different area to get away from your family but you'd be silly to give up that security.

I would stay put. People are just jealous, honestly. Because you're in a position of relative security and stability. However the housing crisis is not your responsibility, and you would be mad to make yourself more vulnerable out of some kind of moral obligation to strangers, when the housing problem is systemic and can't be solved by one small act of personal sacrifice. I say that as somebody who has spent most my adult life homeless or vulnerably housed. They will be prying the keys to my council house out of my cold dead hands, no way would I willingly go through that hell again. Stand your ground, keep your security, and fuck your family tbh they have way overstepped and possibly done something illegal as well.

I would downsize your family.

What total CFs

This
the number of posters here slagging off the OP, for wanting to live in the only home she’s known or wants to know.

don’t we all want that? To be able to live in a house we want, in area we know ?

it is not the Op’s fault or responsibility that there is a massive shortage of housing stock in social housing. You want to blame someone? Blame successive conservative governments starting with Margaret Thatchers idea to make everyone a home owner so they’d vote conservative. Of course there was never going to be home ownership by everyone, and the conservatives knew it. They also knew they were selling off national assets and creating a housing Chris, to drive house prices up and rents up and making a profitable private rental market to make the wealthy more money.

this is not the op’s fault . Write to your MPs if you want to express your anger at the situation, or at her particular situation. Stop hounding someone who is no different in just wanting security and safety in a place they know and love.

and, where are all these 1 bed social houses the Op is supposed to move into ? It’s not like there are any social houses empty and eating for tenants 🤷🏼‍♀️

Op if you've got an assured tenancy you would be absolutely INSANE to give that up to go into private rental.

I live in a 3 bed HA house with an assured tenancy, my eldest daughter has left home now so it just me, DH and one DD here. Our circumstances have changed over the years and me and DH now have better paying jobs than years ago, we both work full time (not high earners I'd like to add, I work in the NHS, we get by ok but nothing left at end of month) We'd like to downsize and move to a more rural area but there's NO WAY I'm moving into private rental, the thought terrifies me. I will sit in my under occupied house until a suitable house comes along for us to swap into, even if it takes years.

Your family sound like absolutely twats. I wish you the absolute best in your university course, do not give up your tenancy unless you are in a position to buy somewhere!

And I’ll add, cos I forgot, it’s not the OP moral obligation; to be a sacrificial lamb to ease the fundamental housing problem created by governments.

Keep hold of your house and enjoy it

It's rightfully yours

Ignore your family, they're very jealous of your home and are behaving badly

Ignore the haters

It's your home so don't leave for anyone

Firstly, I didn't expect this post to get very popular. Secondly, I would like to say I do respect people's views and opinions.

I do completely understand people when they say it's morally wrong. Yes I know its morally wrong but I don't feel guilty about it. Someone mentioned that people have the right to judge and the neighbours have the right to judge, obviously I know that! What I DO have a problem with is how they are acting, I don't care about the judgement but when I said I'm not downsizing, they started letting kids get away with stuff.

For instance, before I said I'm not moving or downsizing, whenever my next door neighbours kid would play outside, his mum would be at front having a smoke. The kid would play with his ball and quite often kick it at my property, the mum would always shout at him outside. Now, since I mentioned I'm not downsizing the kid don't get told of for kicking a ball at my property almost breaking my windows, so you guess it, cctv is being installed.

Someone mentioned that this property and social housing properties are owned by the government, you are incorrect. The housing association is private owned by whoever found a specific HA and it's not owned or controlled by the state which includes the government.

I would stay there as long as I could, get through my degree, get a great job and save for a deposit for a house. I would never willingly swap that home for one with a private landlord.

I think you should downsize. Maybe not to a one bed flat, but a small 2 bed house? Or there are some nice ground floor one bed flats actually. I wouldn’t say downsize to something you really don’t like, but maybe look into it because so many families could do with that home.

I've had friends who were the youngest siblings by quite a few years who got to live on in their dead parents council properties for ever more.

It's completely normal for this situation to happen regardless of how many rooms.

People seem to forget that a dead parent at a young age is not a great thing and focus selfishly on things like the property

Your family must be insane to try and swap someone else's house.

Also don't listen to anyone saying "well, morally you should move". They would not do so themselves, they would find some compelling reason not to. Nobody in your situation would move from a home in which they were happy and settled.

Thank you for your kind comment. You've offered a lot of guidance, I was planning on giving up for private rent, but I will just keep the tenancy and save up for a deposit, I worked out it would take me around ten years from the time I graduated for to up for a decent deposit in my area. So I'll keep the HA until I find a nice property to buy. I can't say thank you enough.

I would never, never willingly give up a HA tenancy in favour of a private rental. However, yes it is a bit unfair living in a private 3 bed house when there are so many homeless families, BUT they don't make it easy for you to downsize to an equally nice 1 or 2 bed, do they? What are the rules on swapping?

Do not give up your home