Family wants me to give up my social house and I'm not - wwyd?

[spicy2001]

I currently rent a three bedroom social housing property and I live on my own. Most of the rent is paid for by universal credit and I have to pay 25% bedroom tax which is very affordable to me which is for two rooms and a shortfall of £30.55p.

I did speak to a housing officer and they said I am legally allowed to occupy it, and as long as I pay the rent on time, tax and shortfall, then everything is fine. I don't feel guilty for occupying this three bedroom house, it's been my home since I was born.

Recently, I noticed that my family were talking a lot about me downsizing. I asked why are they talking about me downsizing? They said because I don't need this property and have to downsize.

I explained I'm legally allowed to stay here, this is my property and not yours. I get that I don't need this property but I'm staying here because I'm allowed too. I found out that they actually joined a site called "home swapper" and a site called "glass bob" my sibling set up an account using her email address to advertise my property. If I'm correct, I've never joined these so I don't know 100% but they're platforms where you can do mutual exchange and advertise your property.

I phoned my housing association and explained the situation, they've started an investigation and they are speaking to various departments to see if they can do it from the end to see if they can do anything as they approved it but they don't know if they can disapprove it.

The other day a tenant from another part of my cul-de-sac came round and told me she knows I'm downsizing and she has a friend whose currently living in a one bedroom flat with his wife and they've got a one year old daughter and another baby on the way. I explained to this person my family have been trying to get me to downsize to a one bedroom flat and I'm not actually looking to downsize so I won't swap with them but told her I do sympathize with their situation.

She told all my neighbours about her friend and now all the neighbours are peed off at me because I'm not downsizing. My family are also peed of that I'm not downsizing. As far as I'm concerned I don't care as I have the legal right to stay here for as long as I like or want.

I just wanted to know though what would you do if you was in my situation?

I was asking WWYD if they were in my situation, to see if there was something else I could have possibly done. However, someone posted some advice about the private rental market, the fact I've got an assured tenancy and the fact I'm able to stay here so in the end I made up my mind that I would stay here and not go into the private sector and save up for a deposit.

How is it 'vile' for hard-working tax-payers (a huge number of which are struggling with COL crisis) to have an opinion about the money they pay in funding people to live in subsidised accommodation for no good reason?

If everyone took and took and had this entitled attitude, we'd be in deep trouble.

And people wonder why so many feel unmotivated to work (when they can). Because they have to watch people take the p*ss with their hard-earned money while they struggle. And they're expected to be fine with it.

The rules are unfair , you should be obligated to downsize . You are a single person , you do not need such a big house and lots of people do . Morally they are right and you are wrong .

Completely agree. It’s no different to tax evasion.
”It’s mine. Why should someone who is more in need have it?”

It is. But the OP has made it clear that that is not a concern.

And you are apart if the reason why there is a housing crisis ! You don’t deserve that house , as simple as that . It’s social housing for people who need it .

I was going to post very early on in the thread
Glad I didn't as its clearly just a post designed to get peoples backs up and I can't be arsed with that today

Reverse?

I dont think its right your family did that too you at all. However, I also dont think its right as a country that we allow the taxpayer to fund someone to live in a 3 bedroom house on their own. Thats just a ridiculous waste of resources (and your house is a resource funded by the taxpayer that should be occupied fully). I imagine there must be plenty of families locally to you squeezed into properties that are far too small for them, living in very difficult circumstances.

But in terms of being dishonest and going behind your back, your family were very wrong. Raising the issue with you was not wrong though.

Excuse me?!

I work full time, I am on minimum wage but don't struggle because I don't have kids and I don't have a car. Even if I wanted a child which I'm not sure of yet I wouldn't have one until I'm of minimum wage because minimum wage was designed for A single person.

In fairness to the OP there are sod all one bedroom properties she could downsize to.

The system is messed up because we stopped building social housing. If there were suitable one-bedroom places I agree tyhe OP ought to do the decent thing and downsize, but as there aren't, there's no point in going on about it.

Honestly?

OP's post there just makes me want to give up. It really does.

Imy husband and I have worked hard, full time for years and are struggling to make the rent and bills in this economic crisis. My husband is a veteran, and we havent been on holiday since we got married 5 years ago.

We've resigned ourselves that we'll never be able to save even close to the money for a house deposit due to the extortionate private rents we must pay.

This entitled attitude, and that OP doesn't feel guilty for blocking a home needed by families in need, is difficult to read.

Why am I bothering? It's beyond demoralising. Even worse that the government allows this disgusting entitlement.

This. Your family are tossers but I also think it’s unacceptable to stay in a three bed house you don’t need that is subsidised just because ‘it’s your family home’. Sorry, but if you don’t need that space then I think you should downsize.

But your family are behaving terribly. Maybe they’re just trying to make you see another side of it but they’ve gone about it all the wrong way.

This is what makes me have an issue with it. If OP is on universal credit, then the taxpayer IS funding it, no matter how you play with the numbers.

I never thought I should feel like this, but social housing is under such pressure now that I think if you’re taxpayer funded, you should not have the option of having a house bigger than your needs

I don't have a car. I can't afford IVF either.

Doesn't mean I feel entitled to block a home meant to support a vulnerable family.

I personally don't think you're doing anything wrong per se. If you're not forced to downsize and you like your house, then so be it. The system does seem a bit broken but you are not responsible for that. I lived in a three-bed house by myself for 5 years before meeting my DH, in a very popular area for families due to the schools. I owned it but if someone came along and said, sorry you're out. You're not allowed to be in such a big property because you're single and families need this out, I would be pissed. I see no difference. It's the same for older folks who have big houses and don't want to downsize to crappy little flats, and people accusing them of 'hogging all the big houses'.

The problem is the government's lack of investment in affordable housing that is for all different types of situations and families, not your 'morals'.

Same here!
Social housing with extra bedrooms is for Families that need them.

If it is private, and paid for by OP, it’s different but the taxpayers are paying- No wonder OP doesn’t want to downsize.

It’s a free house!

YANBU at all to stay put if you don't know what your long term situation is going to be. If you were elderly and would be single for the rest of your life then it would be appropriate to think about downsizing but you have your whole life ahead of you and the good fortune to have a lifelong secure tenancy. It's terrible that these tenancies are like gold-dust, it should be that anyone starting out in life can secure a tenancy like this, but that doesn't mean that you are wrong to hold on to the one you have. Yes there are thousands of families who need a secure tenancy like this. The fault on that is 100% with the government who have chosen to deliberately reduce social housing stocks. It's not your fault.

Hang on to your tenancy for now, and be very very careful about who you decide to share it with in future as you will be a prime target for a cocklodger who sees your nice little setup and invegles into your life to get a slice of easy living. Don't think about moving to somewhere smaller until you are approaching retirement - that is a long, long way away.

In your shoes, I would stay put. Don’t give up a permanent HA tenancy for an unreliable, unregulated private rental. I would even look into whether it qualifies for Right To Buy as an option for the future- right or wrong, the system is in place, and nobody else is going to look out for your housing needs.

There are massive problems with access to suitable social housing in the UK. This isn’t OPs fault. The way RTB operated since being introduced by Thatcher(in terms of council housing stock being sold under RTB but the proceeds going to the Treasury) is the cause of the housing shortage.

In your position- stay put or look at an exchange if you want to.

mumsnet is a bad place to ask this question because you will get vilified for it.

social housing is not just for those that don’t work. You are within your rights to stay as your tenancy states. You may also have right to acquire- depending on your tenancy.

Honestly I think your family have no business doing what they are doing but I also think a single person shouldn’t be able to occupy a property that can house a family.

The Op doesn't have a moral obligation to give up her tenancy to complete strangers who may 'need' it more. Housing shortages are no more her responsibility than the cost of living crisis is to someone that has spare cash left at the end of the month that they could potentially donate to the needy instead of putting it towards a holiday...

Eyeroll at lots of things on this thread. Council houses were designed to give people secure homes, so communities could be built rather than drained when people became socially mobile. You stay in your home without guilt. You don't have to make personal sacrifices because other people keep voting Tory. It's your home, not a hotel room or a grace and favour bedsit.

Are you for real? You think having a house funded by tax payers that goes far beyond the OPs needs is the same as someone having "spare cash" (aka money) from income they've earned at work ?

Two separate issues. Your family have no right to advertise your home, I hope they didn’t put photos online. They’ve really crossed a line.
Whether you downsize or choose to stay in a property larger than you need is up to you and your conscience. I understand there’s a housing crisis and many families are overcrowded but how easy would it be for you to find a 1 or 2 bedroom flat/house where you’d feel at home ?