Where to live near Oxford?

[Ruthietuthie]

We are considering moving for a dream job in Oxford (currently in the US, but from the UK) but the salary (university position) is far less than we make now.
Where would be a lovely place to live, commutable to Oxford (although probably not going in everyday)? 500,000GBP budget, three bedrooms ideally, period charm if possible, good primary and secondary school. A friendly small town or village would be ideal, as I imagine we can't afford Oxford itself.
Thank you.

I know the area around Bicester, having looked at Rightmove I can see there are properties for sale in Merton, Ambrosden and Marsh Gibbon which might meet your criteria. Merton is not far from the train station at Islip and Ambrosden and Marsh Gibbon would be okay for Bicester village station. Ambrosden has a lot of new development going on so I would personally prefer Merton or Marsh Gibbon of these three villages.

@Theelephantinthecastle, thank you for the encouragement. And I agree with you regarding the quality of life issue being far more complicated.
It is a department and program I have admired for years. Really, if someone had written a job description FOR ME, this would be it. Perfect.
It's just whether we can get it to work for the whole family.
My little boy is five, so plenty of time yet before secondary school, but we would need a good primary.

I think the biggest changes in academia in the UK came in around '95 with the research assessment. Before that there were a lot of people who to put it mildly weren't over doing it, and others holding down big jobs as well as being an academic. There were a few people in my department who were holding down jobs as CEOs of startups as well as lecturing.

Have you tried developing relationships with other institutions in the US ? I woudl have thought that becoming co-supervisor with shared students at other institutions is possible if you can develop the relationships. I guess if you aren't in research atm you aren't really going to the conferences to meet the contacts.

Is your research area equipment heavy or is it something that can be done pretty much anywhere ? I would have thought it is much harder to start up if you need vast amounts of stuff to do what you do.

@GasPanic, thank you for this.
It isn't that I am not doing research - I am and have several books, many articles, large grants, go to conferences, an invited to give key-notes - and I am in a field where people work alone, generally (think similar to history). My start up costs are very small.
It's more that my institution is focused on undergraduate teaching. The research I do while I value it, and I've done enough to be competitive for jobs at research-focused places isn't valued by my current institution.
I've built connections with colleagues at places throughout the US and Europe, including the UK, and do some co-supervision. But it's a constant struggle to make my job something it isn't and won't ever be.
I'd like to lead a research center, say, and work with incredible museum collections, really shape the future of my field. I'd like to have brilliant colleagues to talk with (I am the only person in my field at my present place, plus my colleagues don't publish or go to conferences, so their focus is different than mine).
I have REALLY tried to blossom where I am planted. I left a tenure-track job at an Ivy league institution to come here, because I wanted to live with my husband and have a child (I was 39 at the time, so it was now or never. We both went on the job market, but I was the one who secured a job near him, so I moved. He is now full professor). But it's such a struggle to make my current job a fit and, thus far, I haven't secured another US offer that would work for us as a family.
And then there's the fact that I really don't know if I want to raise my child in the US.
My husband is on-board for a move, but we are both getting cold feet when we think about the massive change in our financial circumstances.
I keep thinking, "If I just publish more, get more grants, work these connections," then I'll find the right position. But, until this position - which, as I mention, could have been written for me. In fact, I've said for years, "If I could work anywhere, it would be within this program."
I wish I had a crystal ball.

I should add that, when I say I am not a fit at my current position, it isn't that my job is in any danger here. The institution values teaching above all, and I do that well. My classes are incredible popular and my students go on to do wonderful things.
It's just that there is no opportunity to grow in other ways. It feels like an intellectual dead-zone.
But I am well-paid and stable, my husband's job is also well-paid and stable. Our child is happy. Our neighborhood is lovely. We don't have to worry about money. It's a difficult decision.

Would your institution give you the summer off in order to do a sabbatical ?

That might help de-risk the move, without impacting on their teaching schedule too much.

You'd be able to find out during that whether the job really is what you want it to be without maybe uprooting the family. I guess the problem is the job is advertised now and they want to fill it, meanwhile the institution you are at might feel nervous about the process.

It's a hard choice for you. I don't envy it. Opportunities in specialist areas don't come around very often and I guess if it is left too long it becomes harder to get the placement as you get older, the doors aren't open forever. I guess you've just got to collect as much info as possible to try to weigh up the pros and cons of the process.

Have you considered taking the job and keep a house in the States and just rent one over in Oxford and split your lives between two countries until you were surer which path you wanted to take. Probably hard work though, but maybe possible for a year or two.

@GasPanic, I could easily take a year's unpaid leave from my position here to try it out. I need to really think about that option.
As you note, particularly in specialized fields, there are so so few jobs. I learnt about this program as their students often contacted me, as they teach one of my books as a key text in the MA program. It really is the perfect fit. (Strangely enough, I haven't got offers from other jobs that were far less prestigious... I don't really know why).

I think there is something to be said for renting rather than buying for two reasons:

1. Gives you a chance to check out the area more - difficult to do from overseas
2. Gives your DH a chance to find a job, then you might have a bigger budget

I am not as negative as others about whether you would regret the move but then I have actively chosen to leave the US (renounced my citizenship as has my DH). I know plenty of other Americans here too, many of whom have also renounced citizenship. I don't want this to degenerate into patriotic debate though as I honestly get that it's very personal and very subjective and I also have friends and family who are very happy in the US too.

So I think if you can make it work you will love Oxford. It has its downsides (as does everywhere) but it is one of the best universities in the world and the city is lovely. In terms of where to live and commuting, as people have said driving into Oxford can be awful. But if you are prepared to get into work early the park and rides work well, and if you can find somewhere close to a train station or decent bus route you will be fine. South West Oxfordshire is lovely and if you are prepared to live 40-45 mins drive outside there are some stunning villages on the edges of the cotswolds and in the Vale of Oxford, and if you can go that little bit further out the Wessex Downs along the ridgeway are stunning. You would be able to find a house for your budget with and with good school links and thriving communities. And these days the chances are you can work from home 2 to 3 days a week minimum.

You could do a lot worse than take up the job at Oxford if you are looking to move back to the UK.

Good luck!

Goring, Ewelme and Watlington are lovely, Benson and Cholsey are ok. Abingdon and Didcot are just awful.

Honestly? With the additional information you've shared, I'd take the sabbatical, rent a house in a nice area with good schools (north Oxford/Jericho would be my pick) and move here for a year to see if the job's all you hope. Assuming your DH can also take a year out, he'll be able to explore options for getting a new job over here, and if he can, that opens up a lot of independent education options for your son - Magdalen College School from age 7, for example. If you all decide to make it permanent you can explore different areas to buy in.

I live in the pretty Oxfordshire cottage/village combo that you think you're looking for, but am having to move - there are bus gates being brought in next year in Oxford that are going to make my commute absolute hell, as cars will have to go the whole way around the ring road to get from one sector of the (small) city to the other.

I dunno.

Abingdon isn't my favourite place in Oxfordshire, but describing it as "just awful" I think is probably taking things a bit far.

I'd hate to think what Moss Side in Manchester or Stoke on Trent would be classed as if Abingdon is "awful".

The private school there has an excellent reputation.

Just going back to your original post, £500k doesn’t go a long way in Oxfordshire, it’s one of the most expensive places to live in the country.

Added to that if you want both period charm and good commuting links, you will struggle to find much that’s not a “project” house to spend time and money making it good or tiny.

Renting is also expensive but you would have the flexibility to move at the end of the lease. If you’re unfamiliar with the area it might make sense to rent initially and then find something when you’re here and more able to evaluate where you want to be.

The university might even have some accommodation available, it’s worth asking as they own a lot of the land and buildings - if I recall they own about 60% of the land in Oxford itself and plenty of places further afield.

Goring is indeed lovely. I live there and adore it. However, it is very expensive and (more importantly) the train service as deteriorated drastically since we moved here. I couldn't really recommend it now.

If I was the OP, I would rent in Oxford itself for now. I would consider East Oxford. somewhere Magdalen Road-ish, as being affordable but actually great to live if you like somewhere with a fairly buzzy feel. Lots of young families these days. Primary schools are fine. Lots of new-ish academics there now as can't afford North Oxford! Easy to walk/bike/bus/taxi into centre. It sounds as if your DH is likely to be earning more later, then you can decide where to buy with a bigger budget, taking into account secondary schools and whether you like living in the city itself or fancy a village.

Village-wise - I would head north on the train eg to Charlbury. Very nice.

PS - some colleges will help with housing. some substantially.

Sorry I haven't read every post, but this TINY house is in a great area, in budget, easy access to the centre of Oxford and good primary and secondary schools. If you're willing to junk about 90% of what you own... https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/133706663#/?channel=RES_BUY

I have read OP’s posts but not everyone’s else’s (sorry) so apologies if others have said this but have you spoken to the college about accommodation? Many colleges have really very nice married quarters which would suit a small family.

I know the thread has moved on to the dos/don’ts of the move itself but I saw the opening post and came on to say Thame or Haddenham for your requirements. Both have good primaries. Haddenham has the train and also has everything you need (doctor, dentist, few small food shops, and prides itself on its green credentials and community feel). Thame is larger but the available housing stock will tend to be the newer builds.

I think renting for a year, with a sabbatical from your current post, while you decide is an excellent compromise.

Also to add, I love in a tiny village v near one of the two above. And I commute into Oxford daily by car, on a good day it takes 23 minutes and on a bad day 31. Which I’m okay with!

@Ruthietuthie With all due respect, I think you're mad. Your son will be dropped in a school that has nothing like the provision he's in now. You'll be lucky if there's a small room with books never mind a proper library or even a librarian. No specialist teachers. Very little sport. Very little play ground equipment. No science labs. It's just a world apart.

Are willing to give up accessible specialist led healthcare that you can easily access? No more paediatrician? Calling at 8:30am on the dot or not getting a GP appointment? This assumes the receptionist deems it urgent enough of course.

I'd do it as a sabbatical for a year. But I'll guarantee you that you'll be running straight back to where you are unless you can afford private school here. Giving up healthcare and education for your son is just too much to sacrifice.

@Sloop89, thank you for all this. I think you are right, unfortunately.
My son's school is incredible - for example, the winner of the Caldecott Prize comes every year, as illustrator or writer in residence. They have a lower school orchestra, so he plays the cello. He's part of the school choir and also part of the jazz group. He takes tennis lessons and swims in the school pool. There are twelve children in his class, with two teachers, plus specialist teachers for art, music, science, plus they have Mandarin each morning, led by a native speaker. (He's at the same school as Obama sent his children, and Clinton, so a really fabulous school).
And yes, the things I hear from my parents about the struggle to get a doctor's appointment, about months of waiting for something I could see a doctor about instantly, worry me a great deal.
It does make me sad that there probably isn't a way I can come home. And it's bizarre that my "not very prestigious" job is far better paying and with far more freedom than this "extremely prestigious" position.
My husband is also getting cold feet about the massive change this would bring to our family's financial conditions.

It sounds like the school your son is currently at is really exceptional and I can understand why you would hesitate to move him.

But I also think the previous poster (who seems if you look at their posting history to primarily post critical things about the UK) is a bit OTT.

My son's state primary has a decent library, has a science lab, lovely playground. They do even offer Mandarin though it's weekly not daily.

I realise it's anecdotal so if you want an actual stat - this shows that the majority of UK primaries have a library...https://www.headteacher-update.com/news/thousands-of-primary-schools-have-no-library-national-literacy-trust-reading-writing-literacy/241849/#:~:text=One%20in%20eight%20primary%20schools,(Tyler%20Todd%2C%202021).

You can pay for private healthcare if you want to and it will likely be less than you're currently paying.

I know many many Americans who live in the UK by choice so it's really not necessarily the case that you will run back after trying it. Though I do think renting first is sensible so you have a back up plan.

@LudicrouslyCapaciousBag, unfortunately the Fellowship that comes with the position is at a college with no money and no such provision for accommodation. You don't even get an office in college :(

Yep, your long term plan to give it all up is bananas. But, it does sound like you need to get it out of your system. Go for a year. Either rent or get uni accommodation in the heart of Oxford so you can really enjoy the Oxford vibe. Make some amazing memories for your son and his grandparents. Work with the team you have always wanted to work with. Then go back home to the lovely life you already have.

@Theelephantinthecastle, thank you for this counter-balance. My brother's children are in a really wonderful small state primary, although in our Northern home-town, and while I realize that it doesn't compare in terms of facilities, it really is excellent (and probably far better than we would have here, if we weren't paying a lot for a private school).
It would all be easier if we were on two salaries, but it isn't clear what my husband would do (He isn't competitive enough in research to find an Oxford position, or perhaps any university position, given that he has been at a teaching institution, a small liberal arts college, for all his career).
The sabbatical option is looking more and more attractive.