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Original poster

Getting over losing "dream" property.

41 replies

DancingQueen2019 · 18/04/2023 16:12

GAHH!!

beaten by a first time buyer. now we have a buyer, and no where to move to! im not confident of finding anywhere, especially not to beat our dream property that we lost out on.

any motivating stories. :)

OP posts:
Fantina · 18/04/2023 16:14

We lost a property once (not a dream one but the only one that ticked as many boxes) and we carried on with our sale and carried on looking and lo and behold it popped back up on Rightmove and we were ready to go!

house sales fall through all the time so don’t lose hope, keep looking

Original poster
DancingQueen2019 · 18/04/2023 16:16

the estate agent says we are "next in the line" should anything go wrong.

i feel bad, but i'm also secretly hoping the ftb can't get their mortgage, or are put off by the survey! or you know, simply change their mind... :)

OP posts:
Original poster
DancingQueen2019 · 18/04/2023 16:16

i think im also stressing that there is zilch else on rightmove

OP posts:
Fedupofdiets · 18/04/2023 16:17

I am in the same boat, lost out on mine by one day! It had been on the market for 2.5 months and I went on the market to buy it, I sold within 10 days and they accepted an offer on it the day before....gutted. Not one single house on RM that I am interested in looking t so just a waiting game.

Original poster
DancingQueen2019 · 18/04/2023 16:19

@Fedupofdiets gutted is exactly how i feel!
when i spoke to the estate agents they said there were a few other viewings but no other interested parties, then fast forward 2 days and bam another offer. we were first to view and first to offer, and sold our property within 2 days of it going on rightmove, but unfortunately the FTB is in a "better" position :(

OP posts:
Georgiepud · 18/04/2023 16:25

Cold comfort I know, but sometimes these things are meant to be. Or at least that's what I tell myself.
Keep searching and view the minute anything comes on you like, while keeping fingers crossed the FTB encounters a problem.

FTB2022 · 18/04/2023 16:27

It is absolutely gutting. I spent 14 months looking for a property as a first time buyer. Think we offered unsuccessfully on six properties before having an offer accepted. It can be soul destroying and almost feels personal.

You seem angry at the buyer who's offer was accepted. I'm sure when you sold your property, if you were lucky enough to have multiple offers you would have accepted the best one on the table.

I really hope you find another property soon, one even better for you than the one you've lost out on. Hoping a first time buyer is unable to get a mortgage is a really horrible thing to do.

EssexMamisoa · 18/04/2023 16:36

Ooo I had this. Ashamed to say I cried. This was about five years ago. We picked ourselves up and found a new place. I’ve got a beautiful DC now and a cat and I adore both so much (actually bought the cat to cheer me up when we lost our dream property).

Even now I sometimes think about that dream house but I take huge comfort in well I have my DC and my cat and I may not have had either if we’d bought that place. Everything happens for a reason.

Also more rationally every property has its faults even if you can’t see it right now

Greensleevevssnotnose · 18/04/2023 16:38

Can you put in a better offer?

Original poster
DancingQueen2019 · 18/04/2023 16:44

@FTB2022 I know its mean, i said i feel bad!
house buying is such a selfish game because as you say, we would have also picked the best offer too, yet here I am wanting myself to be chosen even though I'm not chain free.
but of course deep down its frustrating about the other FTB, as if they werent there, we would have gotten it :)

@Greensleevevssnotnose our offer was £10k over, then we offered an extra £5k when we heard we werent successful in the hope it would swing it, but it didnt work!

thank you everyone for providing nice advice, its just nice to hear reassurance of everything happens for a reason, something better will come along etc.

OP posts:
FTB2022 · 18/04/2023 17:00

It's an absolutely horrible process. Lots of tears, frustration, genuinely wondering if anyone was ever going to sell to us!!

The six we were unsuccessful with were all over asking, one £35k (more than 10%) over! The one we are in the process of buying, we've got for the asking price. Feels like fate.

Really hope you are as lucky soon.

SirVixofVixHall · 18/04/2023 17:04

The same thing happened to a friend recently. She had been first to offer but lost out to a buyer “in a better position “ . She upped her offer but to no avail. Has now found another lovely house, offer accepted so fingers crossed it all goes well.
House buying is so stressful, wishing you the best of luck OP

dizzydizzydizzy · 18/04/2023 17:10

I had similar thing many years ago. The property I bought in the end was much much better. It wasn't the exact location I originally wanted but it all worked out for the best.

IwanttoworkforThomasNightingale · 18/04/2023 17:10

We’ve also just missed out on a property we really wanted! FTBs. Had another purchase fall through, found a much better house and lost out on it by one day. Nothing else worth viewing. I had already mentally moved in and am grieving the lovely fantasy I had of living there

HavfrueDenizKisi · 18/04/2023 17:22

I think you have to be quite zen about it really.

We lost out on 2 great houses on roads we really liked when we last moved. I was very disappointed. One we were pipped at the post in sealed bids. The other we were gazumped a week later. Bastards. (Definitely not zen).

Anyway, the house we ended up in is millions times better than the first two. It's a better layout and size on a more quiet road than the ones we missed out on. Plus the other houses had compromises that this one doesn't. So it all worked better in the end.

OrthopaedicShoesPlz · 18/04/2023 17:31

HavfrueDenizKisi · 18/04/2023 17:22

I think you have to be quite zen about it really.

We lost out on 2 great houses on roads we really liked when we last moved. I was very disappointed. One we were pipped at the post in sealed bids. The other we were gazumped a week later. Bastards. (Definitely not zen).

Anyway, the house we ended up in is millions times better than the first two. It's a better layout and size on a more quiet road than the ones we missed out on. Plus the other houses had compromises that this one doesn't. So it all worked better in the end.

Totally this! My last two moves I missed out on THE house and ended up in a WAY MORE 'THE' house! It will end up being exactly the right thing to happen, honest!

SpeckledlyHen · 18/04/2023 18:06

I missed out on my "dream" home twice. Basically, I saw it on rightmove, it was stunningly beautiful thatched cottage and was on relatively competitively priced considering. This was during the covid boom. We offered 10k over asking and were outbid and I thought that was that.. A few months later the EA rang me and said the buyers had pulled out and did we want to offer again and I honestly thought this is it, it's meant to be and confidently offered again a bit higher than before.

The EA rang me and said we had not secured it, and I am ashamed to say I burst into tears in Sainsburys. I was sobbing my heart out - I was completely convinced the second time of offering was a sign etc. There was a lot more emotionally going on with this house purchase than me just being a spoilt brat at not getting what I wanted..

However, looking back in hindsight I am pleased we didn't get it, if we had have done we would not have found the house we are in now. It is a stunningly beautiful thatched cottage in a gorgeous village with a pub. The other house was on a road that would have been a lot busier than where we are now (but still a country lane). The house we bought was cheaper by £200k and whilst we could have bought the other one we would have been a bit stretched for a couple of years. The dream house eventually sold £80k over the asking price on RM.

Other things have happened here that make me realise it is far more suitable than the "dream" house. Sad to say it but I truly believe everything happens for a reason.

caringcarer · 18/04/2023 18:07

My son offered on 7 houses in about 4 months. Each time his offer was not accepted even though the offer was for the full asking price. For 2 of them he even offered above the asking price but someone offered more on one occasion and on the other occasion there was a cash buyer. Then on house 8, I was with him at EA when a new house was being put up on board. We asked to view straight away and EA obliged. Son put in an offer a little over asking price and asked for it to be removed from the market and no more viewings. The vendor agreed and he got it.

SorePaw · 18/04/2023 18:12

DancingQueen2019 · 18/04/2023 16:19

@Fedupofdiets gutted is exactly how i feel!
when i spoke to the estate agents they said there were a few other viewings but no other interested parties, then fast forward 2 days and bam another offer. we were first to view and first to offer, and sold our property within 2 days of it going on rightmove, but unfortunately the FTB is in a "better" position :(

Until they get cold feet.

If it comes back on, be careful not to over pay in your excitement!!

Are your buyers ok to wait or will you cancel the sale or carry on & go into rented??

the whole process is too bloody stressful!!

BlueMongoose · 18/04/2023 21:14

Their choice of a FTB over you may well come back to bite them. FTBs are often as windy as heck when they see their first survey, and some of the greenest also try silly games like dropping offers ridiculously at the last minute because Uncle Alan ( the local pub's resident barrack room lawyer) told them they should 'chance their arm, everybody does it'. And then the vendor, if it's me anyway, tells them to go and do one.
I lost 2 houses I loved many years ago- one was gazumping, and one was an awful survey and dodgy vendor. But we ended up with a better house and lovely vendors, and stayed there over 30 years. It doesn't always work that way, but it's surprising how often it does. I think sometimes if you lose out you focus more ruthlessly on what you really need/want, so make better choices, or are lesss likely to be blinded by emotion and choose something you love but which is above your realistic budget, or doesn't really work all that well practically.

Housingdestressnotdistress · 18/04/2023 21:58

I fell in love with a house. Offered 10% over asking, had all my information ready, told them first time buyer, prepared to wait for the vendor to find her perfect place, said how much I loved it and want to make it a family home yada yada yada.

Took the vendor a week to decide. EA called to say someone else made a much higher offer with their own really sentimental reason for choosing that particular house and it was ‘a ridiculous offer that the vendor couldn’t resist’ and if they hadn’t offered so much mine would be the strongest.

anyway, all of the EAs chat just made it worse when I found out months later it sold for only 4k more than I offered AND the person who bought it re-listed it two months after completing for 50k more.

that house is near our friends and we walk past it multiple times a week. There’s been full scaffolding around it for a while. DP says there might be problems which is why the first person sold it so quickly and maybe I dodged a bullet.

Mynewname2023 · 18/04/2023 22:43

It’s horrible out there at the moment but houses will always keep coming to the market! We had a sale fall through and we were absolutely gutted as we were months down the line and had imagined ourselves there. Two months later a much better property came up, it was cheaper as well and our first offer was accepted! I kept thinking it would all fall apart but it was smooth and we completed within three months. Fingers crossed for you OP

NotHangingAround · 18/04/2023 22:51

We lost a house I thought was perfect for us. A few months later, when we'd had to move into rented so as not to lose our buyer, an unbelievable house came on, in our price range because they wanted a quick sale and we were by then cash buyers. It was so much better than the house we thought we loved. The right house will come along.

Original poster
DancingQueen2019 · 19/04/2023 08:54

Thank you all for your words of reassurance!

Apparently our buyers "love our property and are in rented and happy to wait. Should they pull out, is it just a case of letting people view it and securing another buyer?

OP posts:
EssexMamisoa · 19/04/2023 10:43

DancingQueen2019 · 19/04/2023 08:54

Thank you all for your words of reassurance!

Apparently our buyers "love our property and are in rented and happy to wait. Should they pull out, is it just a case of letting people view it and securing another buyer?

Yes we had a buyer pull out and we had to secure another one. It was fairly easy and quick. But it was in the post covid boom.

If you’re worried your buyer could pull out and the offer is really good I know vendors that also consider going into rented so you can secure the sale . But I know that creates an admin headache for you, life upheaval, tricky porting mortgage and you’d be off the property ladder.