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Which house, 1 or 2? Help me choose as I’m a new parent!

67 replies

sellotape12 · 15/04/2023 15:06

We don’t know which house to go for. Can anyone who’s been through it, or has older kids, offer any perspective? What are the things we simply won’t think about? What do you wish you’d considered, and what are you glad you stuck to? What’s really important and what’s kind of irrelevant? Obviously we may get neither offer accepted but that’s beside the point.)
We are a family with a 15 month old boy and will be one done: no more kids. My priority is a place he can play safely and feel independent when he’s older.

Both in london zone 3.

house 1:
1930’s house on a wide street where everyone has off street parking. Detached (rare for london!). Big back garden but steep steps down to garden. Has a front garden too. Vendor is a bit more tricky, he’s hoping for a big price as he’s moving abroad but hasn’t had much interest as most people round here go for Victorian houses.

PROS HOUSE 1: Detached. Modernised. South facing garden. Less competition as it’s a 30’s house. Three mins walk to our fave park. Between 2 ofsted ‘very good’ primaries. Next to a cul de sac so hopefully he can ride his bike? Pretty layout with wide hallway unlike Victorians.

CONS HOUSE 1: needs a new roof. Survey otherwise OK. If we do this it will make the price comparable to House 2 (don’t ask me why the vendor modernised without fixing his roof leak 🙄)
House is on the flat bit of a steep hill. This gives the house great views over london but the walk up the hill from school or the train station will be tough on the glutes!
15 mins walk to the tube and rail station for our work. No secondary school nearby (relevant in ten years time)

House 2
Different neighbourhood but comparable. Slightly closer in to London as it’s on the zone 2 border and is in a conservation zone (good? Bad?) Vendor is more normal and reasonable it seems. A bit more expensive.

PROS HOUSE 2:
Literally 30 seconds walk to a park. Beautiful big Edwardian. Modernised and meets conversation area’s requirements. 5 minutes walk to an Ofsted ‘outstanding’ primary and secondary. 8 mins walk from a national rail for work or 16 to a Tube.
Bedroom 3 has an ensuite (good for guests but does make the overall sleeping space smaller, ie a squashed double)

CONS HOUSE 2:
On a B-road and actually we saw local neighbourhood petitions for safer roads/ ‘give us safer crossings etc.’ Not a place you’d want to ride your bike immediately outside (but it is 30 secs from park). Conservation area and tight neighbourhood community feel, but no shops or cafés for a 15 min walk. House has a lot of competition already.
This house is almost identical to the one we are currently in just a little bit bigger and with tall ceilings and a longer garden - worth it? Or better for a change?
No off street parking.

Here’s how they are like-for-like making it harder to choose:
Both have nice families next door. We checked.
Both are already modernised.
Both are in nice safe neighbourhoods.
Both are 3 beds and would be the same price if you allow for house 1’s roof cost.
Both have downstairs loos.
Both have enough storage.
Both involve a bit of a hill.

Do I need to be thinking about what teenage boys will need one day? Or is it better to live in the moment? Tell me things I just won’t have thought about!

NB I am aware how privileged this all sounds too. I grew up with not much, sharing a bedroom with several (fighting!) siblings, going to a bit of a rough school and seeing my mum cry over the lack of coins in her purse. I’ve worked really hard, always saved and know I am extremely lucky to be in this position age 40.

OP posts:
TheIsaacs · 16/04/2023 20:07

House 1 without a doubt. Detached and off street parking. You can shop around for roof quotes, so it won’t necessarily come up to the price of house 2, but even if it does, you’d be spending that money on house 2 anyway so it’s a red herring really.

There also will be secondary aged kids who live around house 1, who must be going to school somewhere. Ofsted ratings can also be another red herring: the schools can easily lose their status, and some “outstanding” schools haven’t even been inspected in years so they might not be outstanding anyway!

NameChange30 · 16/04/2023 20:08

Sorry I mean estate agents manager (not lettings agency! It would be sales not lettings Grin)

TwigTheWonderKid · 16/04/2023 20:09

sellotape12 · 16/04/2023 19:48

Good point about electric cars. Anyway ladies help!!! I just found out House 1 has apparently gone under offer. We had been in negotiations on it, then our EA went on holiday for a week (we didn’t know), and when he’s come back, another of his colleagues from the next branch took an offer. Nobody got in touch to give us refusal or chance to counter offer. 😫
I know that legally, the agent have to submit all offers to the seller, but any ideas how I can play it? I’m hopping mad that the agent disappeared for a week whilst we believed were still in crucial negotiations. But i don’t know if realistically, the seller will cancel the other offer and move to us. 😩 it’s been 5 days

So you had actually put in a formal offer?

OuiLaLa · 16/04/2023 20:16

If the seller has accepted the other offer then it should be off the market no? If it hasn’t been accepted you can just counter offer. clearly harder to bargain with another party though. Especially if the owner is difficult/unrealistic.

I would buy house 2 anyway, great schools, parks and transport. Plus a beautiful house. Would be easy to resell and likely to hold value. in fact I made pretty much that exact decision!

OP I wanted my children to have a good, direct route through school with continuity of area and friends. So much as you can hope for these things. So a good secondary was important as I didn’t want to have to move for it and uproot everyone. I moved loads as a kid and would prefer to avoid.

I think you hear a lot on here about detached, driveway, south facing etc. those things are really nice but an absolute fuck tonne of us have bought houses which don’t match those criteria. Especially in a city!

TheNoodlesIncident · 16/04/2023 20:44

How vexing for you OP. Do you know how much has been offered? All you can do is submit your own offer and then it's in the lap of the gods. You might be in a better position than the other buyers; you never know what aspect may matter more to the vendor. Highest amount isn't always the be all and end all. Hopefully you will find out soon how things stand.

Fingers crossed for you!

sellotape12 · 17/04/2023 11:29

TwigTheWonderKid · 16/04/2023 20:09

So you had actually put in a formal offer?

Yes we had already put in an offer on House 1 before the Easter hols but weirdly the agent ghosted us (now we know why) so we saw House 2 as a back up and it came on over Easter.

OP posts:
sellotape12 · 17/04/2023 11:33

OuiLaLa · 16/04/2023 20:16

If the seller has accepted the other offer then it should be off the market no? If it hasn’t been accepted you can just counter offer. clearly harder to bargain with another party though. Especially if the owner is difficult/unrealistic.

I would buy house 2 anyway, great schools, parks and transport. Plus a beautiful house. Would be easy to resell and likely to hold value. in fact I made pretty much that exact decision!

OP I wanted my children to have a good, direct route through school with continuity of area and friends. So much as you can hope for these things. So a good secondary was important as I didn’t want to have to move for it and uproot everyone. I moved loads as a kid and would prefer to avoid.

I think you hear a lot on here about detached, driveway, south facing etc. those things are really nice but an absolute fuck tonne of us have bought houses which don’t match those criteria. Especially in a city!

Yea that’s true, thanks for that. And hOuse 2 does have a side access because it’s a semidetached so I guess when DS is old enough to have a bike, it still won’t cause a problem of dragging it through the house. That said, House 1 was why we started thinking about moving in the first place, because it’s just so rare to have offstreet parking and no neighbours due to it being detached. We jumped at looking at it (FYI, it went under offer. I see months ago with a different buyer so we thought we’d missed out, then the buyers pulled out due to the roof repair. I mentione) Good to know that off street parking is not the be all and end all necessarily, and maybe the proximity of schools and living in a tight community in a conservation area - which is what 2 offers - is a good balance.
We are very lucky in both have universal benefits. The tricky bit is not really understanding our own priorities because we’ve only been parents for just over a year and we can’t quite picture what will be important and what is a bit throwaway!

OP posts:
choochooandspook · 17/04/2023 11:51

I would look at potential too. has either house got potential for extensions, loft extension, are the kids bedrooms equal size? or one a box room

overitunderit · 17/04/2023 11:57

As a parent of two small children living in a beautiful but impractical house I would prioritise (a) garden with direct access from living space ideally kitchen (b) flat/usable garden that's kid friendly (c) open plan living/kitchen space (d) downstairs loo (e) decent sized entrance hall for access with toddler/pram etc (f) off street parking is a definite nice to have especially if you've got a sleeping child or need to load/unload (g) proximity to good primaries. I wouldn't plan based on secondary as so much can change with the school itself and you may not live there.

Bedroom sizes generally not important. Pretty period features not really important. Closeness to park is great but we are very close to our park and whilst we use it a lot I wish we didn't have to if we had a decent garden.

Proudofitbabe · 17/04/2023 12:08

I'd go with House 1 due to the parking and the fact it's detached, which are my personal "must haves". Secondary situation sounds tricky but if there's a dedicated bus to the distant one and an option on a local one I'd be inclined to risk it.

Re your latest update - by accepting another offer in a way seller 1 has made the decision for you. House 2 which is the one that's available.

So now your options are - feel relieved to have the clarity and go for it with house 2, OR it confirms you really WANT house 1, in which case get on to the agent and back in the running!

MaggieFS · 17/04/2023 12:12

sellotape12 · 15/04/2023 15:37

Right now the older kids in the neighbourhood seem to either compete for a place in our one lovely local secondary or they get in a 20 mins bus further north.

Is this on relation to House A or your present home. It sounded like there isn't a secondary anywhere near A, which alongside the garden steps would put me off. You don't want to happily be living somewhere for 9 years and then have to move.

The road wouldn't put me off B, but it sounds like it might be a bit small/what's the point of moving. And although no off street parking , how easy or hard would it be to park? I used to live in zone 2 and the inability to park within 10 minutes walk of my flat became a big problem. Now I'm older, I'd do that again.

NameChange30 · 17/04/2023 12:40

Well, lesson learned, I guess. When making an offer, pick up the phone to make sure they've got it.

I still think house 2 but if you're not sure, keep looking.

PutThatDownNow · 17/04/2023 13:11

It is a long time since we were making this decision but we moved with two toddlers and did consider secondary schools even though not at the top of our list. When secondary school choices rolled around I was so relieved that we had taken it into account so the choice was pretty straight forward (and we were in catchment). But we were fortunate that the school standard remained consistent. You cannot know what will happen re schools in 10 years.

sellotape12 · 18/04/2023 08:53

Proudofitbabe · 17/04/2023 12:08

I'd go with House 1 due to the parking and the fact it's detached, which are my personal "must haves". Secondary situation sounds tricky but if there's a dedicated bus to the distant one and an option on a local one I'd be inclined to risk it.

Re your latest update - by accepting another offer in a way seller 1 has made the decision for you. House 2 which is the one that's available.

So now your options are - feel relieved to have the clarity and go for it with house 2, OR it confirms you really WANT house 1, in which case get on to the agent and back in the running!

Yes exactly this! It’s good to have had the shock of some sort of mix up with the agent, then to sleep on it, then decide if we really want it. Judging by my typos in an earlier post sleep is what I need…! (And a phone without a broken screen but hey)

OP posts:
sellotape12 · 18/04/2023 08:57

Thanks sooo much for the help in prioritisation. It’s hard to know from this side of the fence with a 15 month old.
With regards to practical garden being no.1 priority for you, what do you do in winter though, assuming it’s too cold and muddy to go outside?

OP posts:
sarahb083 · 18/04/2023 09:43

We have a 2.5 year old so not much further ahead than you, but in winter:

  • She's in nursery 4 days a week and plays outside a lot there
  • She has a puddle suit for when I feel like taking her out to play in the cold and mud (which, to be honest, isn't that often)
  • We got to the playground a lot. It helps that there's one next to a coffee shop that I like.
Robinni · 18/04/2023 11:20

House 2 all the way - schools main reason, all finished with no work to do, en-suite will be needed later, overall sounds better.

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