I'll try to keep this brief. For 10+ years now, I've had at least one lodger in my house to help with bills post divorce. Now all my kids have flown the nest, I'm about to put the house on the market, but currently have 3 lodgers. They've been with me 3-6 months. I previously had issues with 2 lodgers who I had to ask to leave because the situation became unbearable. So I do know that it can be a very mixed bag.
These 3 seemed to be very nice, professional people, quiet, friendly, relaxed etc and finally it seemed I had the perfect balance in the house. Until 3 weeks ago, when I realised that someone had been in my bedroom. There are no locks on any doors and I've always been of the opinion that I respect others' space and expect them to do the same. I have my laptop, ipad, purse etc lying around in the kitchen, for example and don't expect them to be touched. So, I realised that items had been moved in my bedroom, gift boxes on shelves for example and that things had been moved in my chest of drawers where I keep underwear and jewellery. I knew items had been moved because there were things I haven't worn for ages lying on top of other stuff.
I was shocked and angry that someone thought it was OK to do this but wasn't sure what to do/say about it. After a few days of stressing, I got really upset and confronted one of them and asked if she'd been in my room. She said "no" and was then worried about it and said I should talk to the others. Later that evening she asked me to speak to one of the others who was in the kitchen, so I went in and told him what had happened. (Incidentally, this guy is the nicest, calmest person imaginable and I can't believe it could have been him.) He didn't say much but looked concerned - he's a really quiet guy, so I wasn't expecting much response anyway. As we were talking, I was very upset and at that point the 3rd lodger arrived home and asked what was wrong. I told him and he said I should call the police and get them to take fingerprints. He said it categorically wasn't him and said it was something that would affect a person's career. (I wasn't entirely sure about that reaction, tbh, but he's a headmaster at a local school, so different perspective). To my mind, nothing was taken AFAIAA, so the police wouldn't be interested at all. He suggested someone might have broken into the house or a former lodger might have come back to cause trouble. I think that's unlikely. It's a huge house and just rooting through the stuff in one bedroom is unlikely, surely. I also have a dog who would bark at anyone coming in and noone would ever know if the house was empty anyway.
So now I'm in a situation where I don't know what to do. The girl has just given me notice to leave as she doesn't feel comfortable here now. I think she'd stay if I wanted her to because until this issue, we got on really well, but obviously I've been stressed over the past two weeks and she doesn't feel welcome here now. The other younger guy seems to be ok, and the older guy just seems to have brushed it all aside. He did say I should consider getting cameras installed which I told him I was seriously considering. I'm still convinced it was one of them, which, given the girl's reaction, means it must have been the older guy. I'm getting so confused and stressed by all this and putting the house on the market in the next few weeks will only add to that.
Sorry, this isn't at all brief. If you've read this far, what's the sensible thing to do?