Going backwards to be in the village we like?

[LizzyBee9]

Ok so we have 2 kids (6&9) and we moved a year and a half ago to a largish house in the countryside (no walking distance to anything and just 2 other houses near by) which we thought we really wanted. We knew we would have to drive everywhere/ the kids wouldn’t have anyone else to play with / couldn’t just jump on their bikes and run up and down the street (as we don’t have one) but we thought the benefits of being in the countryside would outweigh the negatives… turns out we were wrong. The house is really lovely, but it’s cold and dark (200 year old cottage), we sit very high in the middle of a field so the wind is insane and always feels colder here and it’s just not what we hoped it would be. So it was a £310,000, 3 reception rooms and 3 large bedrooms.
We have just been to view a house in a village we have dreamed of moving to for years that is £210,000 a small newish end terrace 3 bed house, typical layout with just a living room and then a kitchen diner at the back, lovely little private garden. It is a LOT smaller than what we have, 107m2 compared to 160m2 that we have now. My husband thinks we should move as it’s all about the location, kids can walk to school, play out with friends etc. I’m worried it’s a massive step backwards to basically a starter house and it’s going to feel cramped with 4 of us. I just feels we have made so many bad decisions, I know don’t trust anything I think or feel and looking for some input / thoughts et so to help me work this out.
thanks

Your kids only have one childhood.

Apart from the size, it sounds like a no brainer. I'd probably wait till another larger house came up in a suitable area though.

For plenty of people a terrace isn’t a starter home, it’s a house for ever.
Sounds like there’s a lot of benefit - definitely consider it. Can you convert the attic? We did with our terrace, with a dormer out the back, and it’s made a huge difference.

Agree with catfunk

Move. Definitely. Ours are adult now but we moved quite rurally and massively underestimated the impact of DC having little independence when it came to going out. The mum /dad taxi thing will drive you nuts. Echo PP though, and suggest you wait for a slightly bigger house in the village (as long as they’re not as rare as hens’ teeth!)

How often do houses come up for sale in that village? How much more space would you get for another £100k given that's the value of your current house.
Location matters enormously and on the limited information we have I'd seriously consider it.

As pp says is there extension potential?

I think moving yo the village is a good thing, but not sure the house is the one for you.
How ifyen does stuff come up in the village? And if rarely, will you get the house if you need to sell yours first?

Do you really need three reception rooms?

Houses very very rarely come up for sale in the village, hence why we gave up the dream of moving there in the first place. Often when they do, they go for waaaaay over asking. That’s why we feel we would have to really sacrifice the house size to get the location. And basically just go for whatever comes up for same within budget.

I think I just feel we have moved and done up houses a lot and got a bigger house each time making a decent profit and to go from a big 3 bed in the country to a small end terrace feels like a step back and I’m ashamed to say it I worry what people would think. I think we could extend out the back or side but not sure we would want to as I think there would be a ceiling price to that kind of house and we wouldn’t want to use all ou r money extending and not get that back.

From what you've said I'd do it. You'll be happier in most aspects that matter.
You will notice the space difference but it will be outweighed by the positives, and if you have spare in the bank you might be able to pounce if something bigger comes up/extend.

This is hard. Yes this is a small house. And yes of course many folks live in small houses or cramped conditions all their lives.

you need to decide is the living in a small house offset by the location or is the large house offsetting it’s location. 18 months is not long at all to adjust and it feels to me like you don’t give yourselves time.

however if you really don’t like where you are, then I’d move. But I’d be very sure you’re not going to be frustrated by the size.

I would move - just the thought of your current house is making me feel gloomy.

I suppose you are stepping down the ladder, but for 100k you would expect that. If places really never come up in this village and house one is sound, I would take it.

Unfortunately they absolutely are. Very rarely do any houses come up for sale. If they do, they always go way over asking, hence we feel we would have to compromise on the size. There are some massive houses in the village but way over our price bracket, sometimes a flat will come up, but that would be even more or a compromise.

They almost never come up for sale. That’s why we basically gave up on the dream of moving there as in 3 years only massive houses way over budget ever came up for sale and they always go for a lot more. Another 100k would get us a bigger house but it’s basically a case of going for what is a available. We definitely don’t want to stretch ourselves and go out with our budget. Nothing is worth that to us.

I would give it more time. Can you not put a hedge around your house to break the wind etc. Look at ways to make your house cosier. 18 months isn't that long. I also don't think I would move to a smaller house unless I had no choice.

This is the worst time of the year in the late winter perhaps reassess in the late summer after making some attempts to improve the feel of your current home.

I always look through rightmove in the winter looking to move to a new build. I have a 1930s house and the winter is tough but the house is great in the spring and summer as it is on a large plot. I would really miss the garden.

No we absolutely don’t! It is a bit much for us but 2 would be ideal, especially as the kids get bigger

See that’s the thing, the thought of the current house makes me feel happy. A large period properly set in its own land. Yes please. If it’s dark then you decorate it with light fix and fittings, sort your lighting out. If it’s cold you sort the heating, log burners or what works for you. I’d pick this over a small terrace in a new build estate any day of the week. There is no reason for any house to be cold and dark, unless finances are limited.

id ask op. What have you both done to the house in rhe last 18 months? What have you done to make it work for you?

also how often are you out and about v In the house. What about entertaining, kids having friends over etc? Which option is better?

yes taxi of mum and dad is an issue, but for us we managed it. We did the opposite to you, we moved from the small central property to the larger period semi rural one. Yes it was cold and dark initially. But we have decorated, sorted rhe heating,landscaped etc and it’s perfect.

We have planted a hedge yes but that’s going to take years to be established lol. I think you are right that winter is always hard in older houses. I have said this to my husband. We have really only had one summer in the house and we were sorting the garden to be more child friendly so I don’t feel we really got the enjoyment out if it.

I think.id move to your dream location and maybe have a conservatory added with underfloor heating so you can use it year round. That could be made like a second reception room with sofas and with a table for kids to do homework around.

We have done some work, we have sorted the back garden so it’s more suited to the kids, we have built them a bit climbing frame thing. We have decorated upstairs and it looks lovely. We have just redecorated our sunroom and it is gorgeous, we have spent a fair bit. Looks stunning tho. We have also put in a log burner and yes it’s helped but obviously we’d to be in and keeping it going. I have plans for the rest of the house to make it equally as lovely but we worry about spending any more money and it still not working for us. We can’t change that the house gets very little sunlight through the windows, having lights on just isn’t the same as getting sunlight. And we can’t change that the weather is always colder and much wilder. These things will always stand no matter how amazing we make the house. But I would be so sad to leave at the same time as the house will be absolutely gorgeous and we could never do anything near as amazing to a newer house.

It can take time to settle into a new way of living and 18 months might not be enough, however, I would buy the house and move to the village.

We lived remotely when I was a child and we missed out on so much. No friends close by and reliant on lifts, the rare bus service, and walking on unlit roads with no footpaths (and there's much more traffic now so more dangerous).

If the location and lifestyle work then move. If you're technically downsizing then your mortgage will be less so can put more into pensions / overpay mortgage / have a holiday. I do understand what you mean about what people think but just style it out and say you've done what you feel is best for your children.

Ok, you prob went too small and should have done a more mature one, I understand that costs though.

and yes winters are hard at first till you get yourself sorted. Our house is light and bright and toasty warm, we have two log burners, self sufficient in wood, thermal blinds etc, and everything is pale creams, golds and greens,

we also had all the beams sandblasted, back to the original pale oak, it was like someone let the sun in. We built a massive patio , which is sheltered by the house and have a large gazebo on it with a dining set under. As well as two fire pits in different locations and a massive out door sofa set, and a large 8 burner bbq.

we can make as much noise or smoke as we wish. We are totally private. Entertaining is awesome. And come winter, we can fire up the log burners and huddle down.

there is no way I’d give that up to live in a new build terrace. But it’s taken us a few years of work to do it.

I would suggest the better location will bring a better standard of living. When settled then think about adding space if needed. I appreciate you are concerned about being judged. But you and your family will have more freedom and financial capacity to make the space work for you.