kids, living in flats and do other people care

[kkhk99]

First world problems here but owuld love to get other people's perspective. We are considering buying a two bed in a very naice part of town with a fab school or a larger home in a less nice area. DH thinks that it would be weird living in a flat with a kid when everyone else locally are basically millionaires living in five bed houses that cost 2mil plus. In particular, he is concerned about our kid being looked down on and feeling bad for living in a small flat and is unhappy about doing it. Alternatively, we could probably buy a three bed house in a less 'naice' part of towk but my commute would be worse and the schools are less than ideal. If you live in a 'naice' area - do you think people care about where their kids' friends live?

I understand that DH's concern are still coming form a position of privilege. Obviously, a lot of people do not have a choice about where they grow up. However, it would be great to get other people's perspectives on this.

But surely the private school kids/parents are more likely to be judgy of you living on a rough estate than the state school lot that you live in a flat not a house but in the same area as them

We live in a new build city centre flat that has an internal garden/courtyard. Recently a lot of international families have moved in and it's been really lovely seeing the children playing in the garden everyday. As the development is secure, and all the flats overlook the courtyard the parents are able to leave the children out there on their own and know that they are safe.

Our flat is on the larger side (probably equivalent square footage to a 2 bed terrace) and I would really like to see more family friendly flats being built. In the UK there seems to be a perception that flats are for bachelors/young couples who are out all the time so there is very little storage, kitchen space, etc. But as PPs have mentioned, lots of families in other countries raise children in flats.

I agree there's a lot of uninterrogated ideas on here about all children needing and a garden, and in fact a lot of uninterrogated weirdness about the acme of all social ambition being a detached 4-bed with a garage.

Most of my European friends are honestly baffled by the UK's obsession with houses -- my Paris friend doesn't get it. He says why would you want to own somewhere you have to maintain the garden yourself, and when, if the roof leaks, it's your sole problem to fix. He likes all these things being handled by a residents' committee, and being shared expense. shared problems etc.

@MardaNorton 100% agree, most Europeans aspire to live in flats, not houses in more remote locations, it's very much of a British obsession that you need a 4 bed detached with garage etc.
2 bed flats for a family of 4 are also the norm where I come from, even for more wealthy families - the issue in the UK I guess is that flats generally tend to be much smaller than Europe but still!

Personally I will never live in a flat again, we lived in a period mansion conversion apartment, there was a ‘sink fund’ we all paid into for maintenance. But believe me, the maintenance on a two hundred year old building is eye-watering. One leak in the roof and new render, and everyone owes £8000, on top of the so-called ‘sink fund’. Plus leasehold, ground rent. No way.

Honestly roof over your head is all you got to aim for!

I'm going for 2 bed and quality of life for the time being over stretching finances and struggling day in day out for bigger. We have one child but want two, I figured whilst they are so young sharing a bedroom isn't awful seeing as we are all in the lounge and only use it to sleep. I'm playing the long game 😂 a mortgage we can manage, get down quicker, with ability to maximise finances to then upgrade later on. I think if I push too much straight away we will get stuck into a money hole and be miserable unable to do anything but sit in a house we can't even afford paint for 😂

Also got off the point.. location schools they will be happy in is worth so much more than another room!

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