Looking to Move - do we go ‘dream house’ or compromise.

[OCM19]

Long story short, I feel we need to move because the situation with our neighbours has become untenable.

I LOVE our home, but just feel so anxious here. DH would happily stay put but has agreed to move as he knows how I feel. It’s a 4 bed detached.

DH has said that, if we move, we would basically be looking for our ‘dream home’ so we are going to have to be very particular about what we want. We can afford to borrow another £100k on a mortgage so we would be looking at a budget of £775k (south east England), and can port our current mortgage across which ends May 2026.

However, our plan was to always pay off as much of this mortgage as we could, to be mortgage free in 5 years. That’s obviously not going to happen, unless we move to a house that, in my DH’s opinion, won’t be as nice as this one. This is something he, understandably, doesn’t want to do.

with mortgage rates so high, I just don’t know what is best. There are nice houses for around £50k below what we could get for ours, but DH feels we should be looking up the ladder not compromising.

not sure what I am gaining from this, maybe just thoughts or anyone who is in a similar position?

@OCM19 We were in a similar situation recently, with both of us affected but me much more so. If one partner's MH is being severely affected and there's no other way of resolving the situation, moving is absolutely the right thing IMO. We're very happy with the choice we made. New neighbours are lovely. While there's always a risk you'll get worse, in our case we got to the point where we almost didn't care!

One thing you could do is knock on the door of the houses either side of your potential new neighbours. Explain that you've had bad experiences in the past so are now being extra cautious, and are there any issues you should be aware of? It's a bit forward, but may be worth it!

@JesusInTheCabbageVan sorry to hear you’ve also been affected. It really does affect you doesn’t it, it’s horrible! We’ve tried to resolve things, but I’m so anxious.

glad to hear you’re happier now 😊

@JesusInTheCabbageVan also, I do plan on scoping out any potential neighbours first!

Oh, also we went for the nicest house we could afford. Not quite a dream house, but only because I have unrealistically high standards Anyway, it was absolutely worth it.

What if you move and the neighbours are worse? What is the problem with your neighbours? Will you declare it when selling?

@maryofthevirginkind yes we will declare it, we have already informed the estate agents. It’s quite complicated, but solicitors have been involved.

@venusandmars thank you for providing these figures. I have obtained quotes for all costs and consider that, if we can get what we think for ours, it would still be worthwhile.

People said this to me as well, and I was never really on board with it. You wouldn't tell someone to stay in a job that was destroying their MH, or a toxic relationship, just because the alternative might be worse. Why is this different?

@JesusInTheCabbageVan @maryofthevirginkind I can see both sides, but I have to say when it’s affected my anxiety for years, I would be prepared to take the risk! The only reason people say to err on the side of caution is the cost of moving, but why stay somewhere that makes me so anxious!

@JesusInTheCabbageVan I agree, it’s just the associated costs I guess!