Buyers remorse

[Whatsinaname99]

My husband and I just bought a house in London. We’ve moved in and I hate it. And we’ve realised we’ve overpaid by potentially £100,000. The house itself is lovely and it’s in the catchment area for an outstanding school but the street is noisier than I remember and busier with traffic. The neighbourhood is also rougher than I remember. We were looking for a house for so long that we just jumped at a house that was finally nice and had a good primary school nearby and what we were looking for. I feel sick to the stomach thinking about how horrible the area and the street are and can’t stop beating myself up about the fact that I didn’t realise it. Not to mention there is no way someone else would pay this much. So we can’t really afford to sell it.
I don’t know what to do and how to get over it. Maybe someone has been in a similar position and can help share how they overcame this feeling.

Three weeks is nothing! You've barely had time to process the change.

Find some quick wins. I painted our hallway so that it felt like ours walking into the house, and the lounge which is where we spend most time after work and we changed the lights.

Invite people over! Ours finally started like feeling like home three months in when we had a dinner party (and we're living in a wreck so it's hard to disguise!)

Finsbury park is a great area and you'll be able to enjoy it more as the weather gets better.

Can you write a list of things you do like to focus on some positives?

If it’s any consolation, I find that with London areas, they always seem grottier and busier when you first move. I grew up in a much poorer area but couldn’t believe how ropey seemingly “nice” and expensive parts of London are. However, once you make friends in an area and find the hidden away parts that make you happy it is so much better. The vast majority of areas also seem crappy in January and February. When summer rolls around everything looks nicer!

I also meant to add, how do you know you paid more than you should’ve? Are you on a mortgage? In my opinion the bank evaluates the house and won’t let you buy for £100k over. Our bank made us reduce our offer by about 7-10% as they said we were paying too much. It had gone to sealed bids so we wanted to ensure we won.

I felt like this when I bought my first house - outside London though so I reckoned I only overpaid about 14k, and I hated the area. But I sold it after 10 years and all the problems that I saw in the first few months turned out to be no big deal. I was worried the buyers would judge it as I had but it got snapped up! The value was maintained (as much as any other property on the street).

I started to love the quirks of "my" house". the area wasn't as bad as I thought (and a pub opened up down the road after I moved in!). I actually look back and miss that house and I hated it for maybe 18 months/2 years years after moving in. If I was you I would focus on the house you have and seeing the positives - because they will be there! (Moving in December is always hard - I've done it twice - springtime is so much nicer).

And avoid anything about property prices as well. It can make you very regretful worrying about that - your mortgage is your concern for the moment so keep on top of that and keep it as low as possible. And enjoy your new house.

Omg this is literally me. 4.5 years left of my fixed rate and counting down the days 😀

Actually really pleased to have found this thread - makes me feel much better about my mistake!

Finsbury Park is bustling and quite gentrified. Very very good for transport and lots of amenities. Great restaurants too. Hopefully you will make your money back. Not much else to add except as others have said to focus on the positives.

A lot of people get buyers remorse - it’s natural because in this market you are always going to need to make some compromises.

yes you could have bought a smaller place in a lovelier area but then you would be beating yourself up about that

as long as your house has good bones you will be ok - just make a plan and list and make the house more of your own. In a few months you will feel much more positive

many roads in London are busy - and a nice road is always a street away from a slightly less nice road so I wouldn’t worry about that - it’s the same everywhere in London

As for overpaying - you probably didn’t. You paid what the market required - and yes it’s a crazy market but long term if you do ever sell you probably won’t suffer a loss given it’s London

in your case it’s great you are near great schools - that alone is a godsend

I’m so glad I posted on here. Everyone’s messages have been so helpful and such great advice to bring me back to what matters right now. I need to focus on the things I can control, not what’s now outside my control.
for all those who said you’re in a similar position - all the best!! Hope you find a way to make it through it and your next home is one you totally love

3 weeks is nothing! Wait till the spring when the flowers bloom and sun is out. I bet most places look gloomy this time of year.

Realistically you couldn't have paid £100k too much for your house (unless you paid cash and didn't get a survey) as the valuer would have down valued it. It will take a few months of getting used to but you live in a sought after area and will be able to stroll to the primary school in no time. Everything will fall into place.

I was unhappy in my new house for about two years, have been here for eight years now and think it's a great location.

This is exactly what happened to us. Almost word for word! And we changed our dream location for a lesser area (very rough) after being outbid a few times (still ended up paying the same sort of price). The next most expensive house on the same road we've bought on sold for 100k less, we were pressured by the agents to pay 40k over asking price as they said the other buyers were queueing. Now I realise it was all rubbish to push up the price - we were desperate to move as we had buyers for our flat. It's caused so much stress for DP and DS and I now have been diagnosed with depression and am on anti depressents. Hoping things will improve - but it's a v.dark time right now! I feel for you.

It's utterly insane that you will spend more money on a house than anything else in your life and you have to do it in such a rush, with no time to think. You look around for ten minutes and that's it.
When I bought my first place the whole process was slower, you had time for second viewings and bidding wars were unheard of .
The government keep doing things to inflate the property market because that's pretty much the only growth area we have left.
A friend of mine is renting in Basingstoke and even the landlord is taking bids. What?!
The country has gone mad.
Finsbury Park does have The Happening Bagel place though..

Remember, everything looks grim in winter, I viewed my current house in the warm weather and moved in winter. I had instant regrets, the house needed so much doing and we was going back into a second lockdown. I've done loads since then, but still have lots more building work to do before I can decorate.

I still have some regrets, but I'm more settled in the two years I've been here. Go easy on yourself, try to give it a year and see how you go. Its OK to feel this way.

I can still remember collecting the keys on a dark December evening, when I walked into the house I burst into tears and just sat on the stairs crying. I'm still in the house and I absolutely love it.

Thanks for posting @Whatsinaname99 I feel like I’ve found my people - not sure if I’m going to laugh or cry with relief that I’m not alone.

@Newhousecrying your story is the same as ours.

I feel like such an unbelievable fool. I just have no idea what made me believe the surveyor when he said visible flaws were not serious or could wait. We were told the bones are great, everything that needs doing is cosmetic. It’s not. The house has structural problems. (We could sue/mediate but here, but damages for their “mistakes” are limited to 4 times the cost of the survey which is chicken feed compared to the cost of the work. I mean, we will, because every penny is going to count, but the stress of that just adds to everything else.)

The plan was to do the cosmetic stuff all slowly over the course of about 5 years, but it turns out everything needs to be done immediately.

Have no idea how we are going to finance it all. And I’m usually such a financially responsible person, I can’t believe I’ve gotten myself into this mess.

in terms of knowing we overpaid, if we had a realistic idea of the issues, we would never have offered the price we did. True, we may not have had a lower offer accepted, but we sure wouldn’t be in the situation we are in now.

The advice we had was just awful. <I’m looking at you our buyers agent!!!>

3 months in, I’ve come to the conclusion that re-sale is going to be horrendously difficult as it’s a house that no one is going to want because it’s the equivalent of listed, plus it’s a non-family type house in a typically family oriented area.

The irony is, we sold our house that happened to be a great and sensible buy in order to finance this one which is going to be an awful investment in the long run.

The only very small consolation, is I think we might be ok if we don’t lose our shirts and our shit in the process

In the mean time, my top tip is don’t watch the “Last of Us” to relax and escape it all if you’ve just discovered mould/rot growing under the completely covered in stairs. 😂

Hi OP, just wanted to send solidarity and offer hope...

We bought on the Stroud Green side of Finsbury Park in 2011. It's a great area and massively desirable for the transport links alone!

Some things that you might really enjoy on your doorstep:

Dotori Japanese restaurant - right by the tube - is fab! You have to get there early or will be queueing out of the door

Max's Sandwich shop - the absolute best place/food to cure a hangover :)

Stroud Green farmers market - on the playground of the primary school on Ennis Road - cheese and bread to die for! www.stroudgreenmarket.com/

The park itself will be lovely in spring - blossom everywhere and baby ducks on the pond...

The Picturehouse cinema at the tube always has something worth watching - perfect date night spot

Pappagone's pizza is some of the best I've had - including in Italy!

Q&T vietnamese is really lovely if you like pho :)

Just up the hill in Crouch End is Haelan Centre, amazing health food shop and yoga studio

Jack's Off Licence on Stroud Green Road is like a tardis full of the most amazing booze you never knew you needed - I buy delish Japanese plum wine with whole plums in, and DH swoons for the artisanal London beers

Bit left-field but Rowan's Tenpin Bowl is a local legend - they keep trying to redevelop it into flats but the community has fought tooth and nail to keep it - entry is between £1 - £3 and there's lots of fun games, cheap drinks and loud music. It's open til 3am some nights - we've really only been inside a handful of times in 12 years but it's sort of inexplicably always tons of fun :)

So that's my specific list :)

In general, as PPs have said, any property you can afford to keep hold of will almost certainly make you money in the long term. Wish you best of luck getting through the buyers remorse phase - all houses have 'something' unexpected to deal with but I think with the right mindset you'll find a lot to be grateful for and hopefully enjoy.

Deepest sympathies to all of you with buyers remorse, I remember it well from over 20 years ago when we moved and the final straw was finding someone had been murdered in the park next door.

I was in such a hurry to move that we rented the house out and went else where. By a strange twist of fate I am writing this from the same house 23 years later, we moved in again last summer. We all love it here now and my DD is gutted she didn’t get to grow up here. Things happen in ways you can’t foresee at the start, I have found it often takes a few years to properly settle in a new house.

Wow that's quite a story @Seaitoverthere ! Glad you've finally fallen in love with your original house.
An update from me a month on: we have now completed basic redecoration, fitted new carpets upstairs and a new sofa has been delivered. It's feeling much more like home now and we've settled into our new morning routines etc.
We have new flooring being fixed downstairs in February, blinds and shutters arriving in March and the master bathroom to get sorted this spring. I think at that point I'll really feel settled even though I've had to compromise on not doing the kitchen (awful 90s thing but clean and functional) and en suite (basically fine for now just a bit dated) a few years as the money set aside for the work doesn't stretch as far as we'd hoped.
Agree with other posters saying the spring will make a difference. We have a garden for the first time and it will be good to get out there and see what we've got to work with.

Thanks YokoandHiro .If someone had said this would be the case a year ago I would have laughed, funny how things work out. Even more weirdly my lively neighbour was born in the same country as one of my parents, her grandparent in the same place as mine and we both went to the same town on holiday every year when we were children.

So glad you are making progress and that’s really exciting to have your first garden. Do you have any plans for it ? Might be worth thinking about painting the kitchen cupboards, coat of paint cam make a big difference.

It can take years to feel truly settled in an area. And a lot of the unease from my experience comes from not feeling settled and fully aware of your new area, the good and bad, so give it time. Even the apparently nicest and most expensive areas in town have grotty bits - focus on the positives. As others have said, FP is pretty desirable place to live with so many cool places on your doorstep and within easy reach. I'm jealous - enjoy!

I'm going to endorse all of this, OP, especially Pappagone pizza! We live on the other side of Finsbury Park and yes, the area is definitely grittier and more urban than places like Hampstead, but that's what also makes it so vibrant and diverse. Once you get to know the area you'll see there's such a strong sense of community too, especially around schools – our little pocket of neighbourhood feels more like a village than part of a sprawling metropolis. I think buyer's remorse is normal when huge sums of money are involved, but hopefully yours is passing and you'll come to love the area like so many of us do.

Hi OP,

Its been a year since your post and I was wondering if things got better for you?

I ask because I find myself in a remarkably similar situation. DH and I are 28 and have just bought our first home together. I was desperate to move from our previous flat (bad situation with neighbours) and jumped at one of the first houses I saw. The house itself is actually lovely, however the location is incredibly shite. I didn’t know this area of the city very well, and like you the house is on a much busier road than I thought. We have constant traffic and it drives me mad!

Would love to know how your getting on and if it got any better for you.

I’m not OP but I was watching this thread and saw your reply.
I was in a very similar situation when we moved in autumn 2022, so I feel for you! Good news, I’m completely over my initial hate of the flat we bought! You can search for my thread here, I got lots of funny replies commiserating with me at the time.
Now I like the flat, it’s not perfect and it won’t be our forever home but I knew this when we bought. I learnt to live with the little annoyances we had initially, and we fixed a lot of stuff, eg leaking boiler, that made us panic back then.
Our location isn’t the greatest either but I got used to it and just work around it. As for noise - we have a VERY noisy aerial outside one of the windows which makes a right racket in windy weather, it kept me up at night when we first moved in! Now I don’t even notice 😅 I’m sure you’ll get used to the traffic too.

Least OP has got a Banksy now in Finsbury Park! Hope she is feeling happier generally with the area.