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Original poster

Buying my flat was the worst mistake of my life.

232 replies

bibshamed · 08/12/2022 14:57

6 months ago, at 22 years old, I bought a 3 bed duplex/maisonette flat in Aldershot. It was fine, I liked living there, and we made it home. Well, my 4 year relationship fell apart, and I realised I only bought it because he loved it and I wasn't happy there. I moved back with my Mum in Cambridge and realised I made the biggest mistake of my life. It's in a terrible area of Aldershot, with electrical issues.

I had 2 nightmare lodgers who eventually left and are now threatening me with small claims court for not returning their deposit, despite leaving the place in a bad condition after, constantly complained and lied about extent of repairs needed, only 2 months (smoking weed inside, not ventilating or heating it, so mould) AND running into arrears.

I put down a £50k deposit, which I saved for 5 years while living at home and studying, for that money. I have priced it so that hopefully to break even after estate agent and conveyancing fees. I don't know why I moved so far away from my family, it was a huge mistake, and I realised I was only happy living there because I was with Him. I don't know what to do I just want to cry. I don't think anyone will buy it. I paid 165k for it. I think I may have overpaid. I feel so stupid.

OP posts:
HairyToity · 09/12/2022 12:07

Thank goodness you are no longer with your ex. He sounds a nasty piece of work. My brother ended up 30k out of pocket on a property after a split. Accept it as a life lesson, and that you are no longer with the bastard.

Don't let it eat you up, you just have to move on. Easier said than done I know. I've made a costly mistake in life too. Took me 12 years to draw a line under it. You have my sympathy.

MerryChristmasToYou · 09/12/2022 12:10

You didn't give it much time, OP. FB is not where you find lodgers, but you know that now.
Get a lettings agency to let it for you, or use a website like spareroom.com

Nordix · 09/12/2022 12:11

@bibshamed I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. It’s good that you’re back with your parents now and can rebuild. It’s never easy to get away from an abusive relationship.

Try and see it as a positive- lots of learning experiences. You know a lot about buying/selling property for when you’re ready to buy your next home. Try to work on building your own confidence. You are still so young and have your while life ahead of you.

Original poster
bibshamed · 09/12/2022 12:13

fyi i bought the flat alone, exbf was unemployed and i supported him while we lived together.

OP posts:
HotChoxs · 09/12/2022 12:16

It sounds like you have had a bit of a tough time of it. Don't be hard on yourself. You are young and can recover.

CitizenofMoronia · 09/12/2022 12:19

Just needs more photos,TBH what I can see it looks like a nice space.

Theskyisfallingdown · 09/12/2022 12:37

OP having lodgers in is irrelevant to the flats photos. Making a property look it's absolute best is just a standard thing people do when they want a lot of money from someone. No need to say people who can't see that the ugly cable is a light have 'half a brain'.

arthurfonzerelli · 09/12/2022 12:37

He found you blue? What does that mean?

But yes, the flat really isn't the end of the world, whichever route you decide to take. You just need to get your confidence back and decide what you want to do.

I would say you have 3 choices - move back in, rent it or sell it.

You say you definitely don't want to live there. Renting / selling are both good options. Just take a deep breath. I doubt you will be taking much of a financial hit.

Kennykenkencat · 09/12/2022 12:42

Give it a clean and freshen it up. Remove the furniture and rent it out.

Get a BTL mortgage for 75% of the value of the flat. I presume you have a mortgage to pay off of £115,000. If it is valued at £165,000) then you will get about £6000 back less fees, you have then someone paying the rent which could be £1000-1100 per month

The mortgage (interest only at even 6%) will give you about £300-400 per month back

Do it properly through a estate agent that vets the clients and turn it into a business.
Dont accept 12 months rent up front because you can’t then insure the rent.

Then you have the start of a deposit
to buy somewhere else, you have a small income and wait for all this shit to blow over. 3 years from now things could look a lot different and you could end up selling it for £190,000 or remortgaging it and it giving you more money. You will still own 25% of a 3 bed flat

Look at it as a long term investment.

Once it is rented you may never have to step foot in the property again.

Also make sure your future bf’s bring something to the table.
Preferably matching what you are bringing or more.

Anyone can say they love you and make you feel special if the pay off is free food, rent and bills. There was nothing financially for him to lose as he never invested in the relationship

HotChoxs · 09/12/2022 12:47

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LaPerduta · 09/12/2022 12:49

Tekkentime · 08/12/2022 16:05

We saved over 40k by the time we were 21 and in full time education, we had brill overtime jobs and DH had a year in industry between uni years.

Show quote history

But that's two people saving £40K, not one person saving £50K. Quite a big difference!

BigSkies2022 · 09/12/2022 12:51

OP, do you know you can get rental income guarantee and legal representation as part of your landlord's insurance? It increases the cost of the insurance, but if you are able to live rent-free and save up again now, you don;t need to make a huge profit on your flat while renting, do you? In order to get these kinds of insurance products, you have to put your tenants through a proper, third-party referencing service - the estate agent that manages the letting for you should be able to do this, or you can use a service like Blinc. You'd have to switch your mortgage (you probably already have) to a BTL, which will be more expensive, but less expensive than breaching your mortgage agreement.

It sounds like you rushed the process of letting (not surprising, a lot has happened) but letting doesn't have to be a disaster at all. You do need to do the paperwork and cross all the t's and dot the i's - proper reference checking, good insurance, thorough contracts and guarantor agreements, TDS protection for the deposit AND do the paperwork, an inventory with photographs that everybody signs. And you have to be ready to respond to problems with flat e.g. mould, boiler not working, PROMPTLY. Don't be an arsehole about repairs and maintenance. Ask the estate agent how to make it an attractive prospect to potential renters, and I'm sure it can become a useful asset to you.

Theskyisfallingdown · 09/12/2022 12:53

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Here you go: ‘The cables in the kitchen are fairy lights, as any one with half a brain can see.’

Nothing I said was ‘attitude’ or nasty, simply that the estate agent photos are not good.

Theskyisfallingdown · 09/12/2022 12:56

I once had a flat that was a bad mistake in my life too OP, wouldn’t ever live in one again, it put me personally off for life. There’s often threads in the property section where posters link to a house they’re trying to sell and they often get loads of replies suggesting things that would improve the appeal. (Usually the issue is price though)

HotChoxs · 09/12/2022 12:57

Theskyisfallingdown · 09/12/2022 12:53

Here you go: ‘The cables in the kitchen are fairy lights, as any one with half a brain can see.’

Nothing I said was ‘attitude’ or nasty, simply that the estate agent photos are not good.

Show quote history

The OP didn't say that did they!!

Theskyisfallingdown · 09/12/2022 12:57

I didn’t say OP did. I won’t be engaging with you again.

HotChoxs · 09/12/2022 12:59

Yeah of course not! And I'm very glad, hope you stick to that.

RiderOfTheBlue · 09/12/2022 13:01

Not sure I quite believe this tale but if I take it on face value...

OP, this is not the biggest mistake of your life. It might be the biggest mistake of your life so far but there'll be more to come in all likelihood. That probably sounds negative but what I mean to say is that in 5, 10 or 20 years time this will seem trivial. You're 23. There are many more bumps in the road ahead.

Kennykenkencat · 09/12/2022 13:02

BigSkies2022 · 09/12/2022 12:51

OP, do you know you can get rental income guarantee and legal representation as part of your landlord's insurance? It increases the cost of the insurance, but if you are able to live rent-free and save up again now, you don;t need to make a huge profit on your flat while renting, do you? In order to get these kinds of insurance products, you have to put your tenants through a proper, third-party referencing service - the estate agent that manages the letting for you should be able to do this, or you can use a service like Blinc. You'd have to switch your mortgage (you probably already have) to a BTL, which will be more expensive, but less expensive than breaching your mortgage agreement.

It sounds like you rushed the process of letting (not surprising, a lot has happened) but letting doesn't have to be a disaster at all. You do need to do the paperwork and cross all the t's and dot the i's - proper reference checking, good insurance, thorough contracts and guarantor agreements, TDS protection for the deposit AND do the paperwork, an inventory with photographs that everybody signs. And you have to be ready to respond to problems with flat e.g. mould, boiler not working, PROMPTLY. Don't be an arsehole about repairs and maintenance. Ask the estate agent how to make it an attractive prospect to potential renters, and I'm sure it can become a useful asset to you.

All these things a good rental agent will take care of . You don’t need to be running around if anything goes wrong the estate agent will inform you and get you quotes etc Fully managed and with good tenants and you will have an income you haven’t had to work for

Nordix · 09/12/2022 13:04

Theskyisfallingdown · 09/12/2022 12:37

OP having lodgers in is irrelevant to the flats photos. Making a property look it's absolute best is just a standard thing people do when they want a lot of money from someone. No need to say people who can't see that the ugly cable is a light have 'half a brain'.

OP didn’t ASK for tips on how to stage a property. She didn’t post the link! It’s not one of those threads.

She’s just escaped a bad relationship and came here looking for some sympathy/understanding, not people to doubt her story and google her details and slate her property.

Theskyisfallingdown · 09/12/2022 13:04

You seem upset. If it helps, feel free to copy and paste where I said OP said the ‘half a brain’ thing, just as I copy and pasted the post from the poster who said it. There’s really no issue.

Theskyisfallingdown · 09/12/2022 13:04

Again, no slating occurred. The estate agents should do better for her.

HotChoxs · 09/12/2022 13:08

Theskyisfallingdown · 09/12/2022 13:04

You seem upset. If it helps, feel free to copy and paste where I said OP said the ‘half a brain’ thing, just as I copy and pasted the post from the poster who said it. There’s really no issue.

Someone else already did that.

Nordix · 09/12/2022 13:10

@Theskyisfallingdown So you think it’s okay to google someone’s property and then call it grubby, depressing and needs cleaning? Talk about sticking the boot on.

Are to just embarrassed because you didn’t know what fairy lights are? A really common item, and (…most) people looking at the listing will obviously know they aren’t part of the flat.

Theskyisfallingdown · 09/12/2022 13:10

To clarify, I did not say the OP said those words. It was another poster. I did not type that OP said that.