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Original poster

Buying my flat was the worst mistake of my life.

232 replies

bibshamed · 08/12/2022 14:57

6 months ago, at 22 years old, I bought a 3 bed duplex/maisonette flat in Aldershot. It was fine, I liked living there, and we made it home. Well, my 4 year relationship fell apart, and I realised I only bought it because he loved it and I wasn't happy there. I moved back with my Mum in Cambridge and realised I made the biggest mistake of my life. It's in a terrible area of Aldershot, with electrical issues.

I had 2 nightmare lodgers who eventually left and are now threatening me with small claims court for not returning their deposit, despite leaving the place in a bad condition after, constantly complained and lied about extent of repairs needed, only 2 months (smoking weed inside, not ventilating or heating it, so mould) AND running into arrears.

I put down a £50k deposit, which I saved for 5 years while living at home and studying, for that money. I have priced it so that hopefully to break even after estate agent and conveyancing fees. I don't know why I moved so far away from my family, it was a huge mistake, and I realised I was only happy living there because I was with Him. I don't know what to do I just want to cry. I don't think anyone will buy it. I paid 165k for it. I think I may have overpaid. I feel so stupid.

OP posts:
Justthisonce12 · 08/12/2022 17:04

Onnabugeisha · 08/12/2022 17:02

@HotChoxs has a valid point. You need to check the talk guidelines because trollhunting is prohibited on MN and your posts are taking on that sort of tone. You could end up being banned.

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Well not really because all ive said is that the story doesnt add up where as HotChoxs follows me around every thread on the board tying themselves up in knots trying to “prove” what ever the apposing view is to mine. And making personal attacks.

ACynicalDad · 08/12/2022 17:05

A friend has a less than lovely house and now gets housed through work. They have let theirs for 3 or 5 years for gaurenteed rent to the council who put refugees in it and manage it all. If you can find an option like that you will get a good income, start again and see if you can buy another house in a few years without selling this, or at least leave it there occupied and earning money until you are ready to sell.

Justthisonce12 · 08/12/2022 17:05

HotChoxs · 08/12/2022 17:00

The only one on here is you and I've reported you for your baseless attack.

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The only person making personal attacks is you.

HotChoxs · 08/12/2022 17:07

Justthisonce12 · 08/12/2022 17:05

The only person making personal attacks is you.

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Pretty sure the mods won't be taking the same view.

WhistPie · 08/12/2022 17:34

@bibshamed

I had 2 nightmare lodgers who eventually left and are now threatening me with small claims court for not returning their deposit, despite leaving the place in a bad condition after, constantly complained and lied about extent of repairs needed, only 2 months (smoking weed inside, not ventilating or heating it, so mould) AND running into arrears.

But surely this is all covered by a dispute via the TDS - why on earth would they be threatening you with the small claims court?

tirednewmumm · 08/12/2022 19:46

WhistPie · 08/12/2022 17:34

@bibshamed

I had 2 nightmare lodgers who eventually left and are now threatening me with small claims court for not returning their deposit, despite leaving the place in a bad condition after, constantly complained and lied about extent of repairs needed, only 2 months (smoking weed inside, not ventilating or heating it, so mould) AND running into arrears.

But surely this is all covered by a dispute via the TDS - why on earth would they be threatening you with the small claims court?

The rules for lodgers are different for tenants you don't need to use TDS I don't think

FurierTransform · 08/12/2022 20:06

Surely a 3 bed -anything- in Aldershot is worth more ££ than that? Sell, break even if possible, move on. Not the end of the world at all. Worst case is a few £thousand lost that you won't even remeber in 5 years :)

NoelNoNoel · 08/12/2022 20:25

What job can you do without any further education (you must have started at 17) That allows you to save 50k and get a £115k mortgage?
My 22 year old has a similar amount saved. He set up a business while at uni which he still runs as well as working in a 25k a year job. He also saves in share scheme run by his company and pays extra into his pension.

SirChenjins · 08/12/2022 20:32

You’ll be ok OP - it’s not ideal, but it will all work out in the end, things always do. If you can get it looking decent and then sell it and make enough to break even you can put it all behind you. You’re very young yet and you did really well to save a deposit once - you can save again while you get back on your feet and then take some time to decide what you want to do. You’ve had a setback but it’s not going to stop you moving on with your life.

WhistPie · 08/12/2022 20:37

tirednewmumm · 08/12/2022 19:46

The rules for lodgers are different for tenants you don't need to use TDS I don't think

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Yeah, soz, didn't read it properly. But surely if you have lodgers you're there too so you can minimise any damage or cut it off before it happens

Original poster
bibshamed · 09/12/2022 09:55

im a teacher now, but i worked full/part time during my 3 uni degrees.

OP posts:
Original poster
bibshamed · 09/12/2022 09:56

tried the local authority, they basically said they cant guarantee rent and they dont offer management, so basically theyd be putting someone very dodgy , which ive already been burned with, in my property and not helping at all if they decided to stop paying rent.

OP posts:
Original poster
bibshamed · 09/12/2022 09:57

yep, thats my house!!!! you found it!

OP posts:
Original poster
bibshamed · 09/12/2022 09:59

no one died and left me money. mum, dad then MIL let me live at home while working ad saving because they admired my goals and drive. no one gave me that money.

OP posts:
Justthisonce12 · 09/12/2022 10:00

Well there we go then who says young people can’t afford to buy property these days.

AmeliaEarhart · 09/12/2022 10:07

Not everyone needs the bank of Mummy and Daddy.

You could argue that being able to live rent-free with parents while working is another form of it.

Original poster
bibshamed · 09/12/2022 10:10

if i wasn't allowed to live rent free, how would i ever be able to save up and move out? id be stuck there forever

OP posts:
Mince314s · 09/12/2022 10:10

It's rubbish but if it's any consolation you're not the first. I also bought a terrible house at 22 and it cost me money but the next one I learnt from the mistakes and made a much better decision. Tough lesson to learn though.

HotChoxs · 09/12/2022 10:13

bibshamed · 09/12/2022 09:57

yep, thats my house!!!! you found it!

@Justthisonce12 @ShadowPuppets

I hope you can see how ridiculous you were being now. It was pretty easy to find out which flat it was from the information given. I had to message the mods yesterday and the OP just in case they minded the house being discovered.

PeaceJoySleep · 09/12/2022 10:13

Wow, all of that is really upsetting.

Time to go easy on yourself. Things will get better but it's NO WONDER you're feeling it right now. Remember, it's normal to feel overwhelmed by overwhelming circumstances!! So that normal reaction doesn't mean that you made a mistake.

You have achieved something unbelievable really, I didn't get on the ladder in my own name (I lived with an owner, big mistake, another thread!) til I was 42.

The court stuff will end. Eventually. Is there anyway you can bring it to a close sooner?

In the future maybe get just the one lodger through an agency so that you're not overwhelmed in your own home.

Most of all it should be your home that you make work for you. You can do that now. You know what not to do now.

Original poster
bibshamed · 09/12/2022 10:13

thanks for sharing, im glad im not alone. i seriously rushed the buying process and bought any old rubbish without looking into why it was priced so low. may i ask how long it took you to sell yours and what was up with it?

OP posts:
Original poster
bibshamed · 09/12/2022 10:15

yeah i will be finding my next tenants via a real estate agent, have them manage it and collect rent for me so i dont have to deal with the stress.

OP posts:
HotChoxs · 09/12/2022 10:16

@bibshamed

Now that we can discuss the house itself. You did not in my opinion pay a crazy inflated price for it.

Many of us including myself have messed up their house purchase and lived to tell the tale. Many of us have done it when we weren't FTB's either. It's quite easily done.

AmeliaEarhart · 09/12/2022 10:16

bibshamed · 09/12/2022 10:10

if i wasn't allowed to live rent free, how would i ever be able to save up and move out? id be stuck there forever

Sorry, not getting at you OP. It was in response to the poster who mentioned “the bank of mummy and daddy”, and pointing out that it’s an advantage that not everyone has, and does count as “help” from parents even if it’s not a lump sum of cash.

Some people have no choice but to move out at 18 and start paying rent, which makes it nearly impossible to save for a deposit, but too many people (again not you OP) like to bang on about how young people can’t buy property because they don’t work hard enough/don’t know how to save/buy too many avocados instead of recognising that.

ShadowPuppets · 09/12/2022 10:17

HotChoxs · 09/12/2022 10:13

@Justthisonce12 @ShadowPuppets

I hope you can see how ridiculous you were being now. It was pretty easy to find out which flat it was from the information given. I had to message the mods yesterday and the OP just in case they minded the house being discovered.

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I can’t speak for the other poster but I wasn’t troll hunting - I was just amazed at the prices involved as someone who lives nearby - 3 beds in any part of aldershot for sub £350k is unheard of.

OP, I’m sorry you’re having a hard time and I hope you can shift the property and make a clean break very soon.