Moving from flat to house - do we need stairgate for 3 year old?

[Lilfirth]

Just that, really - our 3yo is used to living on one floor only. When we get into new house, I worry that he will wander out of his room at night and fall down the stairs if we don't put a gate up. Am I being ridiculous? Is it actually more dangerous to put a gate there, which he is likely tall and strong enough to climb over (although admittedly not in his sleep)?

For info the top of the stairs is a pretty narrow (maybe 70cm) and one side of it is wooden slatted banister post, so I might struggle to screw a door in there anyway.

If we don't put a stairgate up, is there anything we can do to minimise chance of him stumbling down narrow staircase while he is half-asleep?

Suggestions welcome!

Depends on the child's ability. I lived in Australia in a two story house which was not the norm in my area. Absolutely loads of my children's friends fell down the stair (I'm talking six year olds) because they had only been on stairs in parks etc.

Been there when DD was 3 years 3 months. No stairgates. They are actually more dangerous than the stairs themselves for that age because they are more than capable of climbing over them and are more likely to fall down the stairs as a result. Just reiterate that they must hold the bannister, walk don’t run and no trying to carry armfuls of toys. I’d also put a nightlight on the landing so if he gets up for the loo or to find you he can see where he’s going.

I discovered my daughter couldn't really 'do' stairs very well when she was 3 and a half. We lived in a flat, always took the lift etc. Can he go up and down stairs safely?
It depends whether he will find it an exciting novelty to go up and down. Is he a night time wanderer in general? Maybe a gate on his bedroom door rather than the stairs just for night time.

By the way you can get slightly taller gates. They are aimed at dogs but basically the same thing (the ones I have seen in Argos were the same make as the baby ones)

Does he tend to wander out of his room in the night in the flat?

I'd go for a tall one just to be safe. It'll also potentially stop him going into the kitchen at 5am to try and make breakfast when he's a little older.

Our stairs are almost directly opposite my 3 year old daughters room, and she has to walk past them to get anywhere.

We have an extra tall stair gate on her bedroom door, and then a normal one at the top of the stairs.

The one at the top of the stairs doesn't have bottom bar that you can trip over, and it screwed to the wall about half a foot off the ground to make it higher.

Even if she was really confident with the stairs, it's just not worth the risk for me. Especially when she's half asleep in the night and walks past the stairs to come into our room.

I would put a gate on his bedroom door, rather than at the top of the stairs.

We had a gate at the top of the stairs until both kids were in school but only used it at night as mine tended to wander to us or the loo.
It was kept open in the day as they got older and we were happy for them to be on their own on the other floor.
Sometimes the kids shut it off they wanted to play on the landing as it gave them more space

Does your landing have the room for one further along rather than directly on the stairs?
I have one on the landing but it’s long and narrow, it’s a step down to get to my stairs so a gate wouldn’t fit.

what if he needs the toilet though??

I wouldn’t bother. Mine climbed over ours at 20 months. Took down. He’s 2.5 years now and is super sturdy on stairs, I can’t imagine using now.

FYI - his nursery is children from 18months. It’s set over 3 floors ie gym and garden access at basement level, main rooms ground, and quiet rooms, art rooms top floor. They don’t have any stair gates at all, and there’s 60 odd children going up and down them all day.

I'd put one on the top if he's likely to wander around e.g. to toilet, to your bedroom. You wouldn't need it forever, just to prevent accidental falls so it could be a travel one that you take off during the daytime.

Other than that, no you shouldn't need one at three. My kids could open them by 3 anyway so no use for crowd control.

Normally no, 3yo would be fine. And definitely not in the day, teaching stairs should be a priority if he's not confident.
But if he sleepwalks I'd consider it, but also teach him how to open it (and get one he physically can). That way there's no need to climb (not to say he wont) but can get to the loo etc.

We have one at the top still as DH is worried our 3yo will fall in the night. But in the day he can already open it himself so it stays open and he's more than able to go up and down unaided.

Ours is from wall to banisters. I got Y-shaped attachments that go round the curved post, at the top and bottom, instead of using the normal flat screw plate thing.

We still have one at the top of the stairs and they are 3.5 now. It's always left open during the day but as they are currently navigating going to the potty in the night. I feel happier knowing they can't accidentally fall down the stairs half-asleep.

I would spend the first couple of days really teaching how to get up and down the stairs safely ( on bottom if necessary rather than taking big steps) but put the gate on the bedroom door (presuming that the door opens inwards so he can still call if he needs you) rather than the stairs.

Just as a way to make sure that he is fully awake before approaching the stairs.

Thanks for all your responses - much appreciated.

He is normally quite confident on stairs - e.g. at nursery and going up the stairs inside our block to get to our flat. So I have no concerns about daytime. But he is also a nighttime wanderer, and tends to come into our room early in the morning (which he may want to do even more than usual when he wakes up in a strange place). He wouldn't have to walk past the stairs to get to our room, but he would go past them to get to the bathroom.

I'm attaching a photo of the top of stairs area - like @Danikm151 it's a narrow top area with a step down to get to the stairs. And the wooden poles run right along the landing, so it's not clear whether I could screw a gate into them.

I'm thinking maybe we need something for the door of his room - which he won't like at all, but it is perhaps safer/sturdier?

@KatherineofGaunt can you remember where you got the Y-shaped attachments from / what brand they were? They sound like they could solve the curved banister problem.

I would leave the stairs as they are.

Your DC will learn to manage stairs very quickly.

Those stairs seem safe enough, if he accidentally slipped from hallway he would just fall one step to the large step/ flat square piece.

We have the Babydan pressure gate, so no screwing involved. I can't see from your photo, is the bannister too curved for the gate to push against it?

We still have the gate locked at night with a 3.5 year old, just to stop him wandering downstairs. He's confident and sensible on the stairs but does manage to get up at night without us hearing. It's open in the day so he can come and go. He definitely couldn't climb over or open it, perhaps different stairgates are easier to negotiate.

They were from Amazon. Search for y-shaped baby gate attachment or y-spindle. Something like that.

Ours are the same make as the stair gate.

We had a wooden spindle at the top of our old house (funnily enough we've gone the opposite way from a house to a flat this year) and DH had to cut a bit out of the wood to get the stairgate attachments to go in properly but once he got it all mounted it was very secure.