Help! I feel sick

[Spicky2000]

Background:
moved into new property (upgrade from previous one), knew it needed work doing eg new boiler, new bathroom, new flooring and decorating so budgeted for that.

Had various building work done, and was told that the roof tiles had moved/cracked and could be fixed/re-pointed for around £900 (only about £100 of that was materials) but could afford this.
Mentioned this to my mother over the phone and she said something along the lines of why would you do that, you might as well get a new roof and then at least it’s done properly and will last. I replied a new roof would be lovely but I can’t afford that (knowing it would be a lot more than £900). Mother dearest said to get a quote to see what the price difference would be - quote came in at £8000…which I couldn’t afford with everything else to pay for. Told my mother and said I’m just going to pay £900 for the roof to be fixed, she then offered to pay for the roof basically saying it would be my money eventually (it would be from my inheritance) so I might as well have it now when I needed it. Now, I would never have asked for her to pay for the roof but as she offered and was insistent I accepted the offer. I completed the agreement with the roofing company and before returning it, I double checked with my mother to see if she definitely was happy to pay for it and she said yes. Happy days!

This was a few months ago as we had to wait for a slot as the roofers were booked up - they estimated it would be October/November time. They turned up today and left some materials - not spoken to them, didn’t need to as they’ve already quoted and know what needs doing. Called my mother to say they’d arrived for her to say she hasn’t got the money, she asked how much it was! I said I’d shown her the quote months ago - she said yeah you probably did but a lot has happened since then! OMG what do I do now?! I wanted to lose my temper with her but what’s the point. I don’t know how I kept calm but I did.

I FEEL SICK and don’t know what to do. How could she do this, this isn’t normal is it?

I’m not really expecting anyone to be able to offer advice, I just needed to write it down. I’ve not got a big family to turn to, just need someone to listen really. I work but on a tight budget, I’ve saved to get kids stuff for xmas (not £8000!).

Omg OP - and with no explanation? Is she okay do you think (ie is this unusual for her)

This is the kind of stunt my parents would pull. I now would not commit to anything financial that they asked me to do without having money transferred beforehand.

I recently arranged for some work to be done at their house, and offered a small contribution to help out. My DF said he'd spoken to all the family members who live there, and they'd agreed to share the cost.

Once the work had been completed, and I asked for the money, it turned out DF hadn't spoken to anyone about contributing, and they all refused to pay as they say they can't afford it.

It left me with a bill of thousands in the same week I'd purchased a new expensive house on my own. I had to contact the company and say I'd have to pay their bill in two halves, and it still left me short, meaning I had to live on a credit card.

Don't ever rely on anyone to pay for something, unless they give you the money upfront. In your shoes now, I'd call the company and be honest, as they'll most likely be able to slot in a cancellation.

My mother did this, we relocated to be near her at her insistence and she would pay the deposit and rent in advance. Then decided not to, could have left us homeless. People are despicable.

@HiveBee that's despicable. It must have made it so much worse that you moved to be near her too

@Sindonym

she’s let me down over the years with different things, stuff like not babysitting when she said she would, not turning up to events - all annoying/hurtful at the time but nothing like this

I hope the roofer is understanding. You cannot pay for the materials you do not need.

I would never forgive my DM for this. I bet she didn't have the money in the first place. It's either grandstanding or control or to make you look a fool.