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Original poster

HELP! Ex pulling out of house sale after exchange of contracts

160 replies

Promise22 · 14/08/2022 20:46

In need of urgent advice please. I have been legally divorced now for more than 6 months. I have a consent order in place that says that I either buy ex from his share of the house or we sell it. We have put the house on the market back in Feb as I simply don't have the funds to buy him out. Exchanged contracts last week and he has been bullying me for my new address (when I haven't even moved house!). He is controlling/abusive and I have been advised to seek non-molestation order in the past (I just didn't have the brand width or the resources to go through with it). After a series of threatening text messages over the weekend, which I chose not to engage with (that has probably annoyed him even more), he emailed our solicitor saying that he is pulling out of the house sale. There is no reason what's so over for this except that he wants to punish me somehow and prevent me from buying my own place. Note that he is not buying another property, he will simply take his share of the equity from the family home. However, I am heavily involved in the onward purchase and have even started a full house rewire between now and completion (planned for this Fri). I will speak to solicitors tomorrow and seek legal advice, but can anyone please tell me if this is even possible? Can he pull the plug on the whole chain (a chain of 4 houses) without justification? Any thoughts on similar experience or next steps I need to take will be much appreciated!!

OP posts:
ThirtyThreeTrees · 15/08/2022 00:58

What an absolute dick!!

Let solicitor deal with it for now and only then go to plan b. Right now, don't give him the type of reaction he's looking for. Continue to have no contact with him other than via solicitor.

Delphigirl · 15/08/2022 03:09

You can do an emergency application to court to get a judge to order that completion takes place. He has already signed if contracts have been exchanged

daisychain01 · 15/08/2022 03:15

He's just full of shit, trying to give you stress and uncertainty over the house sale. Just keep calm and carry on, and of course speak to your solicitor who has undoubtedly seen all manner of stunts by people like him. He's being an idiot - just treat him like a toddler, don't put up with his shenanigans.

Original poster
Promise22 · 15/08/2022 05:31

Delphigirl · 15/08/2022 03:09

You can do an emergency application to court to get a judge to order that completion takes place. He has already signed if contracts have been exchanged

Indeed, he has signed all paperwork and confirmed he is happy for exchange to take place in writing. Any idea how to apply for an emergency order. I am loosing sleep over this! Calling solicitors first thing in the morning...

OP posts:
figmaofmyimagination · 15/08/2022 05:45

He sounds like a petulant dick. My understanding has always been liable for 10% if you pull out after exchange but hopefully your solicitor can help and/or apply for a court order. You would be INSANE to go ahead with having any work done in the new house before completion though, please don’t go ahead with that.

User4223131 · 15/08/2022 06:10

@Promise22 I don’t have any advice on your situation unfortunately OP but I just wanted to say - well done for divorcing this twat 👍🏻👏🏼 I hope you get things sorted and can have a nice fresh start 😊

yellowgecko · 15/08/2022 06:13

I recently spend 6 months trying to buy a house from a divorcing couple. Slightly different to your situation as they weren't divorced yet but the wife was in the house and didn't want to sell. He did.

They both had to consent to the sale / pulling out. She initially consented to selling but tried to take it off the market but couldn't without his consent. In the end we walked away (should have done much sooner!!). She was a nightmare, never provided info, made life difficult etc but that was because she really didn't want to sell. They had the same order in place I.e house had to be sold.

Anyway, I'm not sure if the same applies as you're actually divorced but i would def speak to your solicitor as I think you both need to consent to sell, so you would both need to consent to pull out.

TooHotToTangoToo · 15/08/2022 06:55

Fingers crossed op that he is being a twat and did it to ruin your weekend. Hopefully he'll change in his mind when the solicitors get involved.

rainbowstardrops · 15/08/2022 06:57

What a pathetic dick he is! I hope your solicitor can sort this out and then you'll soon be totally free of this idiot!

goldfinchonthelawn · 15/08/2022 07:02

Play him at his own game. Be very calm about it and say, if he wants to withdraw that is entirely his choice. He would have to fully compensate everyone for withdrawing from the sale, and you're concerned for him that it;s expensive but that's fine if that;s what he wants. You and the kids will stay put. But unfortunately you can't t buy him out so if he wants his share of the money, consenting to a sale before prices drop and without incurring penalities for withdrawing would be the best policy to ensure he gets the best financial settlement. Talk to him very calmly as though you are on his side and trying to help him find the ideal solution all for him. I did some negotiation training ages ago and it's amazing how easy it is to get difficult people to back down if you behave as though you 100% back any decision they make. It takes all the battle away.

Sharrowgirl · 15/08/2022 07:05

Try not to worry, he won’t do this. It would cost him an absolute fortune.

Blankscreen · 15/08/2022 07:07

If you have jointly appointed a property lawyer they won't be able to get drawn into this as they will be conflicted.

If he instructs then to not complete the sale then they can't go ahead without his authority.

It will have to go back to the divorce lawyers unfortunately.

I suspect you are jointly and severally liable on the sale contract so if he pulls out then you are also jointly liable for the losses in the chain.

On your related purchase you wil be solely liable.

What a nightmare situation for you.

carefullycourageous · 15/08/2022 07:08

All you can do is try to protect your sanity by staying as calm as possible - the legal situation is what it is and you can instruct your solicitor to take the steps advised above.

I am so sorry this dickhead is doing this to you.

ivykaty44 · 15/08/2022 07:19

Talk to him very calmly as though you are on his side and trying to help him find the ideal solution all for him.

this ^^

he wants to pull out, that’s fine - how can we make this work for you, as much as I’d love to stay in the house I can’t afford to buy you out. So what’s the next move as pulling out is going to cost you £75k at this point, that’s a lot of money to lose…
calmly ask how he sees it working out and pretend to go with it

saleorbouy · 15/08/2022 07:28

Why are you rewiring a house you don't own yet, wait until completion or you could be benefitting the current owners, especially if your finances rely on the current sale going through.

Quia · 15/08/2022 07:35

figmaofmyimagination · 15/08/2022 05:45

He sounds like a petulant dick. My understanding has always been liable for 10% if you pull out after exchange but hopefully your solicitor can help and/or apply for a court order. You would be INSANE to go ahead with having any work done in the new house before completion though, please don’t go ahead with that.

I don't think it's as defined as that. You're potentially looking at compensation for everyone In the chain - given that that includes legal costs. their costs in finding another property including any increase in prices, possible rental and furniture storage costs etc, it could be extremely expensive.

Starseeking · 15/08/2022 07:36

ivykaty44 · 15/08/2022 07:19

Talk to him very calmly as though you are on his side and trying to help him find the ideal solution all for him.

this ^^

he wants to pull out, that’s fine - how can we make this work for you, as much as I’d love to stay in the house I can’t afford to buy you out. So what’s the next move as pulling out is going to cost you £75k at this point, that’s a lot of money to lose…
calmly ask how he sees it working out and pretend to go with it

This is a good suggestion; kill him with kindness, and he'll have nowhere to take his anger.

Quia · 15/08/2022 07:36

Promise22 · 15/08/2022 05:31

Indeed, he has signed all paperwork and confirmed he is happy for exchange to take place in writing. Any idea how to apply for an emergency order. I am loosing sleep over this! Calling solicitors first thing in the morning...

Show quote history

Your solicitor will know how to do this.

Original poster
Promise22 · 15/08/2022 07:37

saleorbouy · 15/08/2022 07:28

Why are you rewiring a house you don't own yet, wait until completion or you could be benefitting the current owners, especially if your finances rely on the current sale going through.

I have 3 kids, 2 with autism and special needs and so won't be able to cope with rewiring while we live in the house. The financial control and abuse I was subjected to by this man throughout 14 years of marriage cost me a lot than the rewiring....this is how desperate I am to move house and turn the page and he is just doing this to bully me. I didn't reply to any of his messages. And knowing him so we'll he is not the kind to reason or negotiate with, he wants to see me beg for mercy and I ma just not doing this!

OP posts:
Quia · 15/08/2022 07:38

Is this all about knowing your new address? Unless he has a reason to need it, e.g. if you have children, I'd be tempted to give him a false address. Preferably the address of a police station.

Original poster
Promise22 · 15/08/2022 07:40

Quia · 15/08/2022 07:36

Your solicitor will know how to do this.

Show quote history

@quia, will the convalescing solicitor deal with this or do I need to contact a divorce lawyer at this stage? I will get in touch with both once offices are open

OP posts:
Original poster
Promise22 · 15/08/2022 07:41

Quia · 15/08/2022 07:38

Is this all about knowing your new address? Unless he has a reason to need it, e.g. if you have children, I'd be tempted to give him a false address. Preferably the address of a police station.

I think that's what triggered him. I just can't tell to be honest....

OP posts:
notanothertakeaway · 15/08/2022 08:16

Blankscreen · 15/08/2022 07:07

If you have jointly appointed a property lawyer they won't be able to get drawn into this as they will be conflicted.

If he instructs then to not complete the sale then they can't go ahead without his authority.

It will have to go back to the divorce lawyers unfortunately.

I suspect you are jointly and severally liable on the sale contract so if he pulls out then you are also jointly liable for the losses in the chain.

On your related purchase you wil be solely liable.

What a nightmare situation for you.

I think this is probably correct

Good luck

knittingaddict · 15/08/2022 08:21

Can I clarify a couple of things.

Have you actually exchanged contracts and when did that happen?

I know that you are saying you have, but other threads have started like this and then it's clear that exchange hasn't happened yet, but conrtracts have been signed.

How on earth are you able to do a re wire on a house that you don't own yet? I would be very concerned about that as you have put yourself in a very vulnerable position.

Do you have insurance on the new property?

knittingaddict · 15/08/2022 08:24

I'm assuming the issues you had with exchange mentioned on your other thread were resolved?