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Original poster

It’s a neighbour one

68 replies

Trainfromredhill · 19/07/2022 08:37

Just got the keys to our new house. It’s got a large garden, the top 2/3 of which slope, the bottom 1/3 is flat- perfect for football. Hedge/trees around garden are all at least 9 feet high except for one side at the bottom 1/3 which is 4 feet. Neighbours garden on that side is about 2 feet higher than ours and is where they have their patio, which they appear to spend a lot of time on. When we viewed it I thought it was really odd that the hedge was so low and said to DH ‘the first thing we’ll do is grow that hedge’ (it’s our hedge). Met the neighbour this week - over the hedge. During the course of the conversation I said ‘I apologise if footballs end up in your garden’. To which he replied ‘I don’t mind sending the odd one back, but it’s not a game’. He then went on to tell us that he and the previous owners agreed to keep the hedge low because we both benefit from a better view! He definitely benefits from a better view across our garden and to the fields beyond, but we only ‘benefit’ from a view into his garden and total loss of privacy into ours. I was showing a friend around yesterday and didn’t even want to go to the bottom 1/3 because he was sitting out with his family. He could benefit from the same view if he moved his furniture to the bottom of his garden. Another neighbour has told us he is ‘worth knowing’. If we grow the hedge it’s obviously going to annoy him. But, aside from the privacy, I don’t think he can complain about footballs, but not want the hedge that would stop them. I’m inclined just to let the hedge grow. WWYD?

OP posts:

Luidaeg · 19/07/2022 08:40

Grow the hedge, explain your dc are keen footballers and you don't want to inconvenience them

DisforDarkChocolate · 19/07/2022 08:42

Grow the hedge, or even put up a fence so he can't get carried away tidying up his side.

Weenurse · 19/07/2022 08:45

Become very lax gardeners and grow your hedge

MintJulia · 19/07/2022 08:47

Grow the hedge to allow your family to relax and have full enjoyment of your garden.

The previous arrangement is not your issue, and your neighbour knows that which is why he mentioned it. He knows he doesn't have the right to expect it to continue.

caramac04 · 19/07/2022 08:49

I’d be inclined to fence. Or high trellis whilst hedge is growing and explain its to his benefit to prevent footballs in his garden.
it’s also ok to say you like privacy in your garden.
Recently had a number of huge conifers taken down in relatives garden. Neighbour, understandably, hated the trees but put up with them. I wouldn’t have but still. Neighbour said he liked his privacy and has put up some screening which is absolutely fine. I’d definitely do the something similar

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 19/07/2022 08:55

You could put up nets whilst the hedge is growing. Like cricket grounds do when near residential buildings. Couple of poles and some nettings strung between, might be quicker and cheaper than fencing whilst waiting for the hedge to grow a couple of feet. Just make sure it’s thicker netting so not to trap birds on the mesh.

heathspeedwell · 19/07/2022 08:58

Clear boundaries make good neighbours. The last thing you want is to have to 'share' your garden with these people who frankly sound quite cheeky.

Original poster

Trainfromredhill · 19/07/2022 09:06

@Alphabet1spaghetti2 I had thought of nets, but that would probably annoy them more as they would be an active obstruction of their view rather than nature doing what nature does. Its a fast growing type of hedge so by next summer 1/2 the view will be gone by me telling our gardener not to cut it my realisation that the garden is far too big for me to manage :) .

OP posts:

JanuaryKeepMe · 19/07/2022 09:11

My FIL lives on a 1970s estate where all the back garden fences were only 3 feet tall and everyone benefited from an extended view across all the gardens. They also lived on a slope and him being near the top had the better deal. He was really pissed off when a new family moved in next door but one and erected a 6 foot fence to keep their footballs in their garden. I think it was more of a privacy issue myself. The conversation we had with him was truly funny. He had lived there nearly 30 years.

Grow the hedge, tell him straight you want privacy in your garden and for the footballs to stay within the boundary. He doesn't get to dictate what you do with your hedge nor whether your children play football in your garden. His opinion ends with his boundary.

rightonthyme · 19/07/2022 09:27

"worth knowing" means "will complain at every stupid tiny thing". It doesn't matter - your hedge, your preference. He can go swivel. You have reached out already and he has responded by willywaving to try and establish dominance. Enjoy your massive hedge and your new home.
Surely he doesn't want to be looking at your kids? Bit creepy if you ask me...

Original poster

Trainfromredhill · 19/07/2022 09:51

@rightonthyme yes. I suspect you are right. I haven't looked up yet to see if he sits on the parish council. I did notice that he has his runner bean stakes right on the other side of the hedge, so any football would take his beans out before it reaches his lawn. sigh.

OP posts:

JonSnowedUnder · 19/07/2022 10:05

When you speak to him I wouldn't mention the football as the reason, he'll just keep telling you he doesn't mind. Just tell him you like privacy, it's more awkward at first but then you won't have a prolonged back and forth with him about footballs and maybe him 'helping by pruning the hedge.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 19/07/2022 10:17

Our self proclaimed ‘worth knowing’ neighbour is just someone who wants to assert their authority/ways of doing things/Devine right to all things over anyone new on the street. Unfortunately for them, they’ve got me as a new neighbour.

Do what you need to do op, for your family and enjoy your new home. So long as it’s within the law /not hurting anyone, you will be ok. It’s nice to be nice and friendly, but sometimes you do have to just draw a firm line.

TheFlis12345 · 19/07/2022 10:39

We are really good friends with our next door neighbours. They are lovely, considerate people we socialise with regularly. Dream neighbours really. We still replaced the 4” fence between us with a 6” one as soon as we were able.

Technophobic · 19/07/2022 10:43

TheFlis12345 · 19/07/2022 10:39

I think a 4 inch fence would be on the small side too. Well done!

Snowflakes1122 · 19/07/2022 10:49

Grow the hedge. Why should you forgo privacy so they can look out across your garden to the view?

LurpakAspirations · 19/07/2022 10:53

Put up a fence instead when you can. Otherwise he'll just cut the hedge himself.

Stephisaur · 19/07/2022 11:10

Grow the hedge.

If neighbour grumbles, tell him that the kids have poor aim and you don't want their footballs tw*tting him in the face while he's on his patio.

Fence behind the hedge as Lurpak suggest would be good too - could always go for latticework for now to help smooth the transition. Dependent of course on current fence height, fences can't be above 1.8m without PP if I remember correctly.

redpickle · 19/07/2022 11:49

We have the same situation. Our neighbour is similar too. We're planning to extend the fence to 6ft with fence extenders, when we can afford it. He doesn't want the light blocked in the top left corner of his 1 acre garden and seems to think it's more important than our right to privacy, not only in our garden but also in the entire back of our house. He's not going to like it but I don't care.

OutDamnedSpot · 19/07/2022 12:12

Grow the hedge, but also let him know you’ve chosen to. My neighbour cuts mine. It makes no difference to me, so I don’t ask him not to, but yours might also take it upon himself ‘to be helpful’.

LadyLapsang · 19/07/2022 16:38

Grow the hedge, but don’t let the children annoy them with constant balls going over. Sounds like you may end up with a scenario where you are sitting relaxing near your house and the children are at the bottom of the garden adjacent to the neighbour’s patio ruining their peace.

Original poster

Trainfromredhill · 11/10/2022 20:57

UPDATE
So, my plan was to just allow the hedge to grow about 20cm each year. 2 weeks ago HE trimmed it back! We were already planning to do some landscaping and last week I put on my big girl pants and went round and told him we were removing the 35m of hedge and replacing it with an evergreen and we were planning to grow the whole hedge to 10 feet high (bearing in mind he has built his side of the garden up, so 10 feet for us will only be 6 feet for him). It went down like a lead balloon.
He said
-he'd put a balcony on his first floor flat roof if we did that - neighbours have subsequently told us that he has made other changes to his house without planning permission.

-he'd bought the house for the lovely view (he still has a lovely view, just not form his raised 3rd patio which looks across our garden)
-he and the previous owner had agreed to keep the hedge low - I pointed out I was not the previous neighbour
-that I needed to keep my very noisy children quiet (my children are out of the house from 7.30am-6pm).

Today I get home to find a letter from him which is rude, threatening, factually incorrect and cc'd to a solicitor.
He has advised that we are required to plant the hedge 2m from the boundary - I can't find anything online that supports this, and the current hedge is about 1 foot from the boundary. He's happy for most of the hedge to be 10 feet, just not the bit that obstructs his view.
He has said "I plead with you not to escalate this" and "please think about your actions carefully".
The plan.

move the trampoline from the opposite side of the garden (about 45m) to adjacent to the hedge ie right next to his patio, which will not only block his view, but also be quite noisy right next to him.
get CCTV - we can have this installed so it covers the hedge but not any of his property
ignore and crack on.
if he cuts or tampers with the hedge involve the police for criminal damage.

Any other suggestions wise MNers?

I can't see that he has a leg to stand on, and if if he did with regard the hedge we can literally plant a row of trees 2m from the boundary and that will have the same effect, and there really are no rules about planting trees in your garden.

OP posts:

GrabbyGabby · 11/10/2022 22:21

Well, there is a law that could stop your tree planting plan. If u grow a row of trees such as leylandii, they could be counted not as trees but as high hedges and you could be forced to keep them at a particular height. Make sure you dont plant anything in a straight row.

Do exactly what you plan with the hedge and cctv, but dont dick about with the trampoline. It sounds like this bloke might have deep pockets and you have to live beside him, so keep your powder dry.

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 11/10/2022 22:27

I would not go out of my way to piss him off such as moving the trampoline, but I would not be happy with his threatening letter and crack on with the other plans which are perfectly reasonable. He sounds like a right PITA to be fair and I would want to block him out too!

SilentHedges · 12/10/2022 07:45

I'm sorry you neighbour has escalated this OP.

Prior to getting to read the end of the post I was going to suggest that you simply say you're getting a rescue dog and the garden needs to be fenced /secure. For everyone's benefit.

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