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To stay or move in retirement?

61 replies

Nightowlpossibly · 09/07/2022 13:43

DH and I are in our late 50s. and starting to think about what retirement will
look like for us. Our kids are grown, and flown the nest. We are mortgage free and debt free. I am unable to work due to medical reasons. DH is working and would like to retire early or at least drop down to part time work before his pension at 67. We have a decent income and live reasonably comfortably. And we will have pensions.

Our dilemma is whether to sell up and move, to a nicer area maybe coastal.
we could move anywhere in UK our dc’s are following their own paths one is likely to emigrate. And the other is likely to move around a lot with their job. We have no other significant ties here, siblings are spread across the UK, No parents either side to take care of.

the pros of our house

No mortgage
good amount of equity.
3 bed house with good sized garden perfectly adequate for two of us.
we like our neighbourhood it’s peaceful and quiet. Never had a moments trouble or worry. Neighbours good, though many are quite elderly so don’t know who future neighbours could be.

the area has great transport links for London where we go often, and other nice places coast and countryside within driving distance.
loads of amenities on our doorstep and good bus service
we really like our house and raised our family here, So am emotionally attached to our home.

cons
the area itself has a reputation for being grotty and rough. but like anywhere
has it’s nice neighbourhoods and not so nice ones. We live in one of the safer and more pleasant neighbourhoods.

the area itself has become run down and changed over the many years we have been here. Loads of good shops left or closed down. The town centre is no longer very nice, and we go in less and less these days. Crime in the centre itself is on the increase and it is just starting to look run down and scruffy. I think it will only get worse over time but the centre can be avoided for shopping.

Housesin this area and surrounding are expensive as is in south east.
if we stayed in this area, or surrounding areas in south east, and moved,
we would literally just be doing a like for like swap property wise, even downsizing to a two bed in some coastal areas is same price as our three bed with all the costs moving would entail. We have only ever lived in London and south east but am open to moving elsewhere in UK.

my DH says we should sell up and move somewhere cheaper in UK to benefit from the equity in our home I am torn, about what we should do, I see the logic in downsizing somewhere cheaper but my dilemma is where to go? We could go literally anywhere and I am finding that so overwhelming it seems easier to just stay put.

Also if we move it has to be right as don’t think we could afford to come back to the south east, , as would be priced out. This move will be our final move. So wherever we go we are looking at it being our final home.

I am currently looking at best places in UK to retire But am not sure whether we need to move. I am torn and overwhelmed.

anyone in same position? any thoughts or opinions?

OP posts:
GetThatHelmetOn · 20/10/2023 01:11

I thought the same, selling the house and then buy something nice by the sea. Turns out my new partner has a holiday flat in a nice coastal village which is slightly getting gentrified.

I can count with the fingers of one hand how many times we have stayed over at the flat… the town is lovely and welcoming, the beach is great and all the nice cafes and shops are just a few steps away but… the place is too quiet for us, we get bored after a day or two and compared to our usual location (well connected to a lot of attractions) the place by the sea feels remote in comparison even when it is only one hour away.

I would stay put and make the move/downsize to be near to the children once they have settled down and have their own kids.

Balmynights654 · 20/10/2023 01:20

MonkeyMindAllOverAround · 28/01/2023 07:05

It is not the coast or mountains that will make you happy but the “community” that you built around you. If you are gregarious people likely to join and be absorbed by a new community move, otherwise stay near to were your community is.

I love the sea and have a little house at the coast but I visit it rarely for the simple reason that my main home is where all my life and friends are.

I once selected living full time in the picturesque village and hated it, loved my house, still miss it, but it was impossible to break into the community, we were far from friends and everything that interested us. Honestly it was the most miserably lonely time of my life.

Stay where the things that are important to you are. The coast won’t make up for that.

Everyone is different though. I am slowly transitioning to retire in our rural holiday home and I absolutely love quiet and boring and being surrounded by nature. There are village activities if you want to join in but I am so happy sitting in my shed and painting and generally being unsociable. It really does depend on your individual personality.

Wheresthecheese · 20/10/2023 09:22

Greenfairydust · 28/01/2023 23:37

I moved to the seaside two months ago from a really urban part of East London because I wanted somewhere quiet to semi-retire.

Loving it so far.

My health has already improved massively from living somewhere quieter, having less daily stress, being able to walk on the beach and having less concerns about anti-social behaviour.

I started volunteering in a local charity bookshop a few hours a week and making new friends.

The town is on the coast but has decent transport to London so I can visit my old friends easily and I still work for a London-based company, but mostly do my job remotely so I don't have to worry about commuting everyday.

As long as you make sure you live somewhere where you won't be too isolated (don't move in the middle of nowhere in the countryside...) and have decent access to trains/shops/GPs and so on you will be fine!

If you choose a seaside town make sure you are happy to live there in the winter too, not just in the summer when everything looks great and buzzy. You will have to put with cold wind from the sea and it can all seem a bit bleak in the winter months if you are not used to it.

Do you mind me asking where you moved to?

JemOfAWoman · 20/10/2023 09:34

Our village in North Yorkshire is full of retired folks from the South! Must be something about living in the Dales 😊

seasideoap · 20/10/2023 11:19

We have lots of older people move here, near the becoming trendy (to some) Margate.

Getting an appointment with GP is difficult, local hospital often makes the news🙁

It is lovely living near the sea, but our little corner of Kent is becoming built on and we are planning a move.

Muddle2000 · 20/10/2023 11:38

Relationships become more important as you age Good GP nice neighbours and helpful friends worth If not then move
Remember you have to give as well

AgnesX · 20/10/2023 11:46

I'm heading in the direction of retirement and DH wants to move to the coast.

We live in a small city. We have a biggish flat so space all on floor, walk-in shower and a parking space. Excellent broadband. Walking distance to town or within short driving distance to the shops. Nearby doctor, hospital and dentist. So really I'm not so keen to move.

If we could just wave a magic wand and shut the neighbours up it would be perfect. When the neighbours start kicking off I want to live in a cave in the wilderness.

greengreengrass25 · 20/10/2023 11:53

We feel similar in suburban area

Area has changed so much and I want a different house in a quieter area

Still working though

Muddle2000 · 21/10/2023 09:17

Seaside towns great climate wise but can be depressing in the winter The constant coming and goings of short term people
make it hard to create a social life No longer the places to be Many people retiring elsewhere and there is little intellectual stimulation in coastal areas either so coffee shops the odd theatre Boring

Josie15 · 05/03/2024 20:10

I have this same dilemma I have retired and live on a main road in a suburb of London with an array of shops and cafes close to lovely parks and riverside walks along the Thames but am looking at a bungalow rural location near my grandson but I am fearful I would be cut off as not seeing him all the time as he would be at school of course and they have busy lives, there is one bus an hour in the town and a train station that goes into London but on a day to day basis wondering where I would go when I have so much in London it would mean having a garden to not having a garden where I am which would be a bonus decisions decisions of course buses coming every 6 minutes in London outside my door here so that would be very different slightly concerned about winter has anyone done this sort of move interesting reading it. I have had little breaks in this area but I had lifts from family when I stayed I should add I don’t drive

Balmynights654 · 06/03/2024 14:35

Josie15 · 05/03/2024 20:10

I have this same dilemma I have retired and live on a main road in a suburb of London with an array of shops and cafes close to lovely parks and riverside walks along the Thames but am looking at a bungalow rural location near my grandson but I am fearful I would be cut off as not seeing him all the time as he would be at school of course and they have busy lives, there is one bus an hour in the town and a train station that goes into London but on a day to day basis wondering where I would go when I have so much in London it would mean having a garden to not having a garden where I am which would be a bonus decisions decisions of course buses coming every 6 minutes in London outside my door here so that would be very different slightly concerned about winter has anyone done this sort of move interesting reading it. I have had little breaks in this area but I had lifts from family when I stayed I should add I don’t drive

Edited

I think you are very wise to think twice about the bungalow Josie15. I know so many people who have moved somewhere car dependent and then have had to stop driving because of a health event. Having a garden is lovely though and great for health and mobility. How far is the bungalow from the station? Is it walking distance? Are there pavements?

It depends how you will be spending your time I suppose. Could you move to a large village or edge of a town where there is a more going on in the location itself? Personally I love being in the countryside and don’t miss London at all but I would be wary of moving to a commuter belt village where everyone was away during office hours.

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