To stay or move in retirement?

[Nightowlpossibly]

DH and I are in our late 50s. and starting to think about what retirement will
look like for us. Our kids are grown, and flown the nest. We are mortgage free and debt free. I am unable to work due to medical reasons. DH is working and would like to retire early or at least drop down to part time work before his pension at 67. We have a decent income and live reasonably comfortably. And we will have pensions.

Our dilemma is whether to sell up and move, to a nicer area maybe coastal.
we could move anywhere in UK our dc’s are following their own paths one is likely to emigrate. And the other is likely to move around a lot with their job. We have no other significant ties here, siblings are spread across the UK, No parents either side to take care of.

the pros of our house

No mortgage
good amount of equity.
3 bed house with good sized garden perfectly adequate for two of us.
we like our neighbourhood it’s peaceful and quiet. Never had a moments trouble or worry. Neighbours good, though many are quite elderly so don’t know who future neighbours could be.

the area has great transport links for London where we go often, and other nice places coast and countryside within driving distance.
loads of amenities on our doorstep and good bus service
we really like our house and raised our family here, So am emotionally attached to our home.

cons
the area itself has a reputation for being grotty and rough. but like anywhere
has it’s nice neighbourhoods and not so nice ones. We live in one of the safer and more pleasant neighbourhoods.

the area itself has become run down and changed over the many years we have been here. Loads of good shops left or closed down. The town centre is no longer very nice, and we go in less and less these days. Crime in the centre itself is on the increase and it is just starting to look run down and scruffy. I think it will only get worse over time but the centre can be avoided for shopping.

Housesin this area and surrounding are expensive as is in south east.
if we stayed in this area, or surrounding areas in south east, and moved,
we would literally just be doing a like for like swap property wise, even downsizing to a two bed in some coastal areas is same price as our three bed with all the costs moving would entail. We have only ever lived in London and south east but am open to moving elsewhere in UK.

my DH says we should sell up and move somewhere cheaper in UK to benefit from the equity in our home I am torn, about what we should do, I see the logic in downsizing somewhere cheaper but my dilemma is where to go? We could go literally anywhere and I am finding that so overwhelming it seems easier to just stay put.

Also if we move it has to be right as don’t think we could afford to come back to the south east, , as would be priced out. This move will be our final move. So wherever we go we are looking at it being our final home.

I am currently looking at best places in UK to retire But am not sure whether we need to move. I am torn and overwhelmed.

anyone in same position? any thoughts or opinions?

How would you feel about moving a long way from any potential grandchildren?

Can you imagine that your children might like help with them? Would it give you joy to do this?

For that reason I would wait for a few years to see what develops.

When you do move, I think you need somewhere that also has good transport links and easy access to things like the GP, Dentist and things to do.

I always find it a bit bizarre when people retire and move to the middle of nowhere. My DA did it and as her health declined it was a 2 hour ambulance trio each way for any hospital appointments. She'd moved away from a large hospital that was literally 15 minutes away.

We are in a very similar position - lovely house in a nice part of a grotty town. We've been toying with the idea of moving (DH always says to the coast!) for several years. Adult DC not settled - but as PP mentioned, although we don't want to 'follow' them, would be keen to see them relatively easily, and maybe ultimately be able to support them with 'grandparent' duties. My thought is that we stay where we are for three of four more years, and then downsize, using some of the equity from the house to supplement our pension. I'm hoping that the future will be clearer at that point - although as DH keeps saying, who knows what's round the corner.

We are in the same position. Strangely enough our local town is run down too, with crime on the increase.

We are looking to move somewhere a bit more rural but with good facilities fairly near. A market town maybe. .
We no longer need the number of bedrooms that we currently have and would prefer a bungalow.
The extra money would be very welcome

Neither of our children live anywhere near us now so we are on the hunt.

Being near potential grandchildren is not on our agenda as they are both so far away.

Go for it.

Go for it. If your circumstances change in the future and who knows what could happen then you re-adjust. It sounds like you could sell now and downsize and choose somewhere to have a fresh start, which is likely to be an enjoyable project, more so than staying in a bit of a rut.

We are 10 years older and haven’t moved. Our house is larger too. Main reasons are access to London and DC and we have friends here. Moving away makes seeing people more challenging. We also belong to clubs and societies and starting all over doesn’t seem worth it.

So, do you have any friends? Would moving a short distance be better? Old folk at the seaside is a bit of a cliche lifestyle. If you do move, choose a nice town. Some seaside ones are grotty. Towns inland can be lovely. However decent places in the SE won’t be cheap.

What do you envisage doing in your new location? I would look at what’s available for retired folk. My DH is neatly 69 and works part time but not the exact same day or days every week. He could work some distance from his office base but we don’t want to start again. However I don’t live in a less desirable area.

Ah the paralysis of the infinite possibilities and the overwhelming fear of getting it wrong…. After several years of first class dithering we have stayed where we are. Don’t know if it’s the right decision or not, but at least a decision was made. Good luck!

Similar, but we have decided to downsize locally. We're well embedded with lots of friends and volunteering activities; we don't want to throw all that away and start again somewhere we don't know anyone.

It's a practical location too - we're close to good transport links so the kids can get to us wherever they end up settling, we have a great GP and are close to hospitals.

That said, we have occasionally considered resettling close to MIL and PIL (my parents are long gone) now they are becoming pretty needy.

We moved away to downsize about 2 miles down the road 10 years ago

We missed our friends and networks the pubs our dog walking areas, and the feeling of belonging and acceptance you get from living in a place for over 20 years or more.

We felt that we couldn't fit into our new place. - we didn't have work or family or anything to build connections with. We kept coming back to walk the dog and go the the pub.

We gave it three years and we moved back to the original village - just round the corner from our original house. We're in a street with a variety of ages and we all support and look out for each other - this was very apparent during covid lockdowns.

There's much to be said for having networks and feeling that you belong - it can work both ways where it feels intrusive and claustrophobic but it's works for us

Why break it if ain't broke?

I'd love to be near the sea but I know coastal towns can be bleak in winter and over populated with elderly people - I like the mix in f ages we have in our place. I book holidays by the sea to get my fi x of the sea
Whatever you decide to do think and plan carefully. Good luck

Thank you for all the responses, very interesting points some really resonated.

mosaic—grandchildren not a consideration as one DC emigrating other adamant they don’t want children. And even if they changed their mind would not be willing or able healthwise to do childcare etc.

pritipatelsmaker—good point about doctors hospitals etc. Our doctor and dentist are currently a 10 min walk and we have two local hospitals within easy driving.
that would be an important consideration for us.

Ajandjjmum— our situations sound identical even down to using equity
to supplement our pensions but we really would have to move to a much cheaper part of uk to do that. The grandchildren are not so much of a consideration for us but if my Dc are in the uk would like them to be able to visit fairly easily.

wishilivedinthrushgreen—sounds like we re in very similar situation with regards to location size of house and potential grandchildren, A market town could fit the bill.

Snowspider— agree we may be in a rut and may be slightly disillusioned with our current location but not our actual lives. could all be new and exciting but not sure how easy it would be to just readjust if it didn’t work out. Even if we downsized and had equity we may find ourselves priced out of other areas. So something to think about.

tizerorfizz— what we envisage for a new location is somewhere coastal or green although I do agree the coast is a bit of a cliche. Probably a town or city but with
lots of nature and greenery as like to walk . But I couldn’t live in a small village
need somewhere with a buzz about it. We do have friends and plenty of activities we like to do that are easily available where we are. Of course our friends are also getting to the same stage as us and may move on somewhere else in retirement.
I do feel mostly we have everything we need, but the area is considered not very desirable and is becoming run down. And we have a lot of equity in the house which would be useful to have if we downsize.

Tummelthecat— this exactly, paralysis! So many possibilities rendering me incapable of actually making a decision in case it’s the wrong one.

ladygardeners—this too, we are in a very practical location with really good transport links to so many places and things. Also close to GP and hospitals.
this is my dilemma, we could downsize locally or slightly further out but would be paying almost as much for a property or basically swapping like for like with what we already have, as the prices in south east are so expensive, plus the added costs of moving and the upheaval with not much equity left.

crazynell— this is exactly how I feel am worried I will not settle elsewhere we have been here over 26 years. It’s familiar and comfortable I feel at home. And indeeD if it ain’t broke…..

the responses have really given me food for thought. Seeing some of the points raised and my responses has made me realise our actual quality of life is pretty good here, and we enjoy easy access to everything we need or want to do.
It’s just the actual overall area is not pretty or scenic, and is becoming run down
although my actual neighbourhood is pleasant and very green. Just wondering
if we can have all the good things but in a nicer place and with some of the equity in our pockets which we won’t have if we stay. More thinking to do.

I think there has to be a very pressing reason for moving - especially if overall you're happy where you are.

We had that pressing reason about four years into our (early) retirement. Our daughter was keen for us to move nearer. We were very happy in our Somerset village where we had lived for over twenty years, but thinking ahead realised that a very old period cottage with a huge garden and orchard was not the wisest choice as we got older. So we bit the bullet and did it, we moved into our new house about a month after our first grandchild was born. We are in another pretty village but with really good facilities and a city a short bus journey away. Our house ironically is a bit larger in square footage but is modern with a small, but private garden, garage and parking. We look after our grandchild a couple of times a week and my husband does voluntary work. We have lovely friendly neighbours too.

We've been here three years now. It's actually been a great adventure, and a change of location has been good for us - we also managed to get out a significant amount of equity too. A plus for me also as a keen gardener has been developing a new garden. In your position I think I would probably stay put. If you're unsure, then that in itself is telling you something.

Very similar situation to you

We moved fairly recently

But we had toyed with the idea for years , we didn't do anything ( other than watch telly and browse rightmove ) until we realised we knew exactly where we wanted to be - a real pull to our new area for both of us- I don't know why it took us so long to work it out , but perhaps that just means we weren't actually ready - we had considered every county around this one !

Even then we did a lot more research- we knew the area as tourists - looking at all the practicalities

I would move north to a town in a beautiful area near a national park - the Yorkshire dales or north York moors . Free up some equity and get a 2 bed place.

Not wanting to be bleak but having good friends and neighbours around you in times of need can be a godsend. No one knows what is around the corner so some people may say go for it enjoy it all whilst you can. But you do also need to think how it would be if one of you was left on their own in a new area. We are mid sixties and out of the blue my husband has just been diagnosed with cancer and is in hospital.Hopefully things are going to be ok. However I've had all my friends messaging, bringing me flowers offering to look after the dog etc. At one time I really thought it would be nice to move to our favourite coastal village but you never know how well and how quickly you will settle in a new place. Just another viewpoint but maybe sometimes you need to just be thankful for what you've got if you are reasonably happy where you are.

One of my in-laws moved to the arse end of nowhere for a nice house and weather to free up equity.
Visiting was a nightmare trip especially in the summer. Amenities and public transport were non-existent. And they didn't have any local support so expected family to full gaps.

Just to add to what people say about social support

We knew that there were clubs and groups that matched our interests

We also moved to a new build estate which means that there are quite a few new to the town people here which means everyone is keen to get to know others

I work for a charity in a retirement hotspot. I work with many lonely older people who moved to the area when they were in their late 50's, early 60's. Invariably 10/15 years later, one half of the couple has died and the other is struggling in an area where they have few social links. Mobility issues mean they can no longer drive and they become reliant on a bus service that is great in summer when all the tourists are about but limited through the winter months.

@Nightowlpossibly
You say you want somewhere buzzy but this invariably means a decent sized town. Even then the wealth (or not) of the locals can dramatically alter what’s available and what housing looks like. Many larger places have more run down areas so you would need to know somewhere pretty well.

I think you could release capital where you are and think very carefully about what might be better given your needs. Staying in your area or moving just a short distance seems sensible. Unless you go to Brighton, where else is buzzy? Other cities with a big student population I think. But remember buzzy isn’t a support network.

I think it’s important to plan for this phase of life - it’s an eventuality.

However I don’t think it’s a reason not to live life to the full beforehand.

I would be much happier knowing that we had 15 years of a new chapter and fun than compromised and stayed somewhere grotty in the interim.

The final stage comes to all of us and we need to plan for that as best we can. If the OP won’t have DCs nearby and as she says friends may move on anyway well what’s the point?

Is there an opportunity to do something half way to try things out - try before you buy with a longer term Air B n B rental - or house sitting?

@DFOD I think health issues were a consideration. So continuity of care might be important..

Thanks everyone, lots of really thoughtful and helpful responses.

And some valid points raised I hadn’t thought of.

Missouri— that was actually one of the options we have thought about.

We are a little bit younger, still both of us working full time and kids at university - similar situation with our property - we own the house outright, although is not worth masses for the south east (inside the 0.5 million).

We, like you, live in the loveliest area on the outskirts a meh town near(isn) to London: nice parks, walking distance to an area of outstanding natural beauty, sea not too far either, but the town is decaying, no crime but shops closing down and getting grottier.

We have raised our children here, it's pretty and safe and there are a few things to do (cinema, small theatre), some small festival in the park. However (and it's a big however) there is no cultural life or creativity to speak of, safe tory seat which is a drag for us as we's like to be politically active on the left and we are very interested in the arts. We moved here from London and, although we have been happy here, we have very much missed city life and all its opportunities for intellectual growth.

We had friends here when our children were younger, but our ethos is different, without getting too much into politics. Brexit has made it apparent that we live in a very anti-immigration, right wing part of the country, and being in a more cosmopolitan milieu is important to us.

We have decided to relocate taking the plunge of fully remote jobs: we are moving to a larger, buzzing city, in a well connected area with transport.

Whittle it down to a few possibilities and take some trips out and properly visit them, in summer and in winter. Check them out for all the reasons people give that give them good retirement prospects and see if that changes your mind, or not.
I used to think I’d want to retire to France as we went a lot when the children were young, but I hardly ever go now (mid sixties) as I can’t be arsed with the heat.

Interesting thread. I'm 59, single, one ds who will be off in a couple of years. I'm looking to move somewhere smaller.

I've spent long weekend on city breaks and weekends, staying in market towns looking for somewhere with the right vibe. It's been fun in itself. I wondered about staying close to hospitals etc but I might have another 40 years and need something new to throw myself into when I retire. New garden, new friends, new house.
I'm going to find somewhere further from London but within half hour drive of a fast train line, and go for it.

We downsized 5 years ago. We only moved 5 miles from our previous home, but it feels like a world away. By downsizing, we released enough equity to completely renovate our new home so we know it won’t need any major spending on it in terms of maintenance in our lifetime.
one thing to consider - if one of you dies, will the other person have enough money to live on in the house you’re currently in? Will moving house allow you to address this issue?