To stay or move in retirement?

[Nightowlpossibly]

DH and I are in our late 50s. and starting to think about what retirement will
look like for us. Our kids are grown, and flown the nest. We are mortgage free and debt free. I am unable to work due to medical reasons. DH is working and would like to retire early or at least drop down to part time work before his pension at 67. We have a decent income and live reasonably comfortably. And we will have pensions.

Our dilemma is whether to sell up and move, to a nicer area maybe coastal.
we could move anywhere in UK our dc’s are following their own paths one is likely to emigrate. And the other is likely to move around a lot with their job. We have no other significant ties here, siblings are spread across the UK, No parents either side to take care of.

the pros of our house

No mortgage
good amount of equity.
3 bed house with good sized garden perfectly adequate for two of us.
we like our neighbourhood it’s peaceful and quiet. Never had a moments trouble or worry. Neighbours good, though many are quite elderly so don’t know who future neighbours could be.

the area has great transport links for London where we go often, and other nice places coast and countryside within driving distance.
loads of amenities on our doorstep and good bus service
we really like our house and raised our family here, So am emotionally attached to our home.

cons
the area itself has a reputation for being grotty and rough. but like anywhere
has it’s nice neighbourhoods and not so nice ones. We live in one of the safer and more pleasant neighbourhoods.

the area itself has become run down and changed over the many years we have been here. Loads of good shops left or closed down. The town centre is no longer very nice, and we go in less and less these days. Crime in the centre itself is on the increase and it is just starting to look run down and scruffy. I think it will only get worse over time but the centre can be avoided for shopping.

Housesin this area and surrounding are expensive as is in south east.
if we stayed in this area, or surrounding areas in south east, and moved,
we would literally just be doing a like for like swap property wise, even downsizing to a two bed in some coastal areas is same price as our three bed with all the costs moving would entail. We have only ever lived in London and south east but am open to moving elsewhere in UK.

my DH says we should sell up and move somewhere cheaper in UK to benefit from the equity in our home I am torn, about what we should do, I see the logic in downsizing somewhere cheaper but my dilemma is where to go? We could go literally anywhere and I am finding that so overwhelming it seems easier to just stay put.

Also if we move it has to be right as don’t think we could afford to come back to the south east, , as would be priced out. This move will be our final move. So wherever we go we are looking at it being our final home.

I am currently looking at best places in UK to retire But am not sure whether we need to move. I am torn and overwhelmed.

anyone in same position? any thoughts or opinions?

My parents moved from a large city to a small, coastal village and never looked back. My mum has passed now, but they had such a lovely social scene that my dad has lots of friends and people who have helped out during Covid etc. it's so lovely to see him having such a wonderful circle of friends who are there for each other and he's got a better social life than me.

I'd be considering how you'd cope in your current area, house if something happened to either of you, you've already said you can't work due to medical reasons, so I'd look for an area with a shop, doctors etc within walking distance.

It's tricky. We have talked about similar, although ds2 is a lot younger still, so not doable atm.
Dh has medical conditions and me as a diabetic, our main focus is to be near a good hospital.
We visit many places and I find most of the seaside (retirement suitable) towns run down with incredible poverty. Bleak and depressing.
I know not what the answer is.

@Oblomov22
The possible answer is buy smaller roughly where you are if that area mostly ticks the boxes.,Seaside towns can be ? However there are nicer ones! However they are not cheap. There are lovely ones in Suffolk and in the South and West.

i always think having enough to do should be a priority too. Not just things for older folks. I want football, racing, theatre, close enough to London for days out, good social activities, decent restaurants, nice neighbours: so I would be ultra difficult to please. Hospitals are not what we need and we are rural so used to getting the car out for everything. A shop nearby would be quite nice. However we are surrounded by lovely countryside so I like that too. This is why we haven’t moved!

Think support networks/company rather than landscape. Friendships can be a fundamental part of your life that you may not realise about until you move.

I live in a touristic area and it is unbearable during high season, we also have access on tap to a coastal property but we are hardly there as there is not much to do apart of walks, shopping and a few decent restaurants which are not that fun in the long run without good friends around.

I’m staying where I am because I treasure meeting with friends regularly and after spending a few years alone in a lovely village close to all facilities, which I called my golden cage, I put my social network above everything else.

We moved to the coast 20 years ago and have never regretted it. I would now never, not live by the sea it really does add something special to your life.
The town has an energy brought to it in the tourist season and when the foreign students are here, and is equally lovely during the winter.

Coastal walks are an absolute joy, and the town is always regenerating as it has to keep bringing in new people each year, in order to appeal to tourists and locals get to benefit from this.

Have you considered not selling your house but potentially renting for 6-months in a town that appeals to you? Try it out first?

I think it's often what you don't do, that you regret, the fact you've been mulling this over for such a long time, maybe indicates you're ready for a change?

I'm older than you and have downsized back in to London - still have a child in school so still need a house but I'd like to move even further in next. Most of my parents generation downsized into the city centre too. They could get rid of their cars and be able to walk, bus or taxi ride to anywhere they wanted to go. They had theatre, restaurants, museums etc on their doorstep. They sacrificed outside space but as no kids to run around in it and didn't want to be a slave to maintenance. Peruano s a consideration? Cities can have lovely parks (as London does). Plus I've found, contrary to popular opinion, cities can be far friendlier communities!

No advice on areas but I would suggest, if you do decide to move, rent out your house and rent somewhere there first. That way, if you do want to return, you still have your old house. Many years ago some friends of mine sold their house because they were thinking of emigrating. They were back a year later but sadly priced out of their old house. So one step at a time. Rent first, get happy with the area. Then sell. Good luck

In some parts of the Dales you can be well over an hour's drive from the closest hospital, and you can zero choice when it comes to doctors- fine if the closest is one that's good and you like, fine, otherwise, not so good. Properties in parts of the Dales can be (relatively) cheap in price, but that's because amentities are thin on the ground. I have known people retire there, and like it a lot while still pretty active, but find they had to move again to somewhere like Northallerton when they got a lot older/more infirm/unable to drive (buses are thin on the ground). If you want a 'forever' home, it may be better to be a bit closer to larger towns. If it's not a forever move, it might work very well. Depends on your needs.

I think we are going to rent somewhere for a bit somewhere new and rent our house out when we retire. We fancy a change but don't want to completely cut ties to our networks and life here.

We both have networks but we are slow to make new friends and aren't really joiners so are a bit wary of just relying on each other....

I think sooner the better, it takes time to establish relationships and friendships. But it's also handy to not be in a rush either. If you can start to get a shortlist then I'd recommend renting airbnbs and trying out the areas for size, it won't be the same as living their but it helps to narrow down the possibilities pretty quickly. From experience house purchases from afar are a PITA, so you'd also get an opportunity to nip into estate agents and get a feel for things beyond Rightmove.

The hospital and amenities is a really good point made previously and I'd also add public transport - being within a manageable distance of a mainline train station is incredibly value as driving may become less feasible. Who/where do you need to travel too on a regular basis etc..

I know this is a bit morbid, but it may be helpful to factor in potentially living alone in your plans in the longer term. Is this somewhere either of you could manage/afford or even want to live should the worst happen? Not pleasant, but again valuable in the longer term.

We had these thoughts a couple of years back. We looked at some very nice new builds in a development by a pretty canal, I sort of wish we had made the move then. Now there is very little for sale and the cost of the stamp duty and doing up any older house we might move to has put us off moving.

I'm hoping to move in the next six months or so, we're looking at bungalows with the intention of settling in ready for getting older and retirement. We want to make the move now while we are still working and can cope with living in a building site if necessary while we have work done.

My location priorities are about having local shops and pubs and being on a bus route. I don't understand why people move to a rural location or even the middle of a housing estate without facilities as their retirement move. I'd rather be on a main road or close to the town centre.

DH & I ( now early sixties ) moved 10 years ago to a smaller house about a mile or two from our previous house. House smaller but area better. . We could move to the coast or country side - certain places not all - I am not talking Sandbanks and the like here ) and stick some equity in the bank but I never would ( until we can no longer manage stairs ) - current house - mortgage paid off , I can walk to supermarkets / shops / hospital ( should we need it about 10 mins away ) park / friendly road , have friendly neighbours , a few places we can go out to eat within walking distance. The cost of moving ( stamp duty etc -) not worth it and I am not terribly interested in starting all over again with friends etc.

My parents went through this decision about 15 years ago & ended up staying Exactly Where They Were 😄

But it's a very personal decision @Nightowlpossibly - all the best with it. I spent my teenage years on the coast and absolutely hated it. Most love it. But there you are - personal preferences. 😊

I would if I were you! But not too rural because you might find it boring and difficult.

But then I'm used to the conveniences of city life. I'm hoping to move to a village that's on the outskirts of a city.

I'd move if you find your area a bit depressing. Just have a tick list of what you need or would like in terms of interests.

We’ve done it, slightly older than you. Loving it & don’t regret it for a minute. We intend to move to a retirement flat in our nearest city in 10-15 years, though.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/elderly_parents

This is going to be you in a few years. I think that maintaining a good relationship with your children should be paramount and setting yourselves up properly for that should be a high priority.

I am 150 miles from my df and will have to manage something one day. I do not look forward to the time (and he is 90 next birthday).

It is not the coast or mountains that will make you happy but the “community” that you built around you. If you are gregarious people likely to join and be absorbed by a new community move, otherwise stay near to were your community is.

I love the sea and have a little house at the coast but I visit it rarely for the simple reason that my main home is where all my life and friends are.

I once selected living full time in the picturesque village and hated it, loved my house, still miss it, but it was impossible to break into the community, we were far from friends and everything that interested us. Honestly it was the most miserably lonely time of my life.

Stay where the things that are important to you are. The coast won’t make up for that.

It is not the coast or mountains that will make you happy

I don’t know about that. Hasn’t there been some research that shows the psychological benefits of spending time in nature?

Do you mind me asking the name of the village?

This is such an interesting thread. We have moved around the country due to work all our marriage. Now retired and moved back to my home town because we didn’t know quite what to do or where to go . I realised it was a mistake straight away. Although we have joined Clubs and hobbies, I don’t feel settled. I always wanted to live rurally in a largish rambling house. Instead we have ended up in a boxy house near two very busy roads in a city. However we have everything very close by and an excellent bus service. OH has made friends but I haven’t beyond a friend I already had here.

In the time we have been here we have had a grandchild who is now living at the opposite end of the country, and another adult child who lives several hours away. My Primary motivation now is to be closer to our grandchild and our other child. We just don’t want to get it wrong if we move again however. The next move has to be the right one and for the foreseeable future. I spent hours every week trawling through rightmove and obsessed with finding the right house in the right area.

I agree that a good community, facilities and services are vital for those over 60. However access to nature is really important to me, and I feel trapped and miserable here. Having a mix of ages is also important. It’s just so hard to know what to do. There are other complicating factors which I won’t go into here. Suffice to say it’s a complex situation.

I moved to the seaside two months ago from a really urban part of East London because I wanted somewhere quiet to semi-retire.

Loving it so far.

My health has already improved massively from living somewhere quieter, having less daily stress, being able to walk on the beach and having less concerns about anti-social behaviour.

I started volunteering in a local charity bookshop a few hours a week and making new friends.

The town is on the coast but has decent transport to London so I can visit my old friends easily and I still work for a London-based company, but mostly do my job remotely so I don't have to worry about commuting everyday.

As long as you make sure you live somewhere where you won't be too isolated (don't move in the middle of nowhere in the countryside...) and have decent access to trains/shops/GPs and so on you will be fine!

If you choose a seaside town make sure you are happy to live there in the winter too, not just in the summer when everything looks great and buzzy. You will have to put with cold wind from the sea and it can all seem a bit bleak in the winter months if you are not used to it.

I think there has to be a very pressing reason for moving - especially if overall you're happy where you are.

I agree with this. You don't sound at all convinced, which I am not surprised about if you aren't moving to someone or something you long for.

I do know people who have moved - most recently my dsis and her dh at 60 and 61, but they have lived in 3 or 4 different places; they were moving near to his sister and family; and ( and I think this is crucial) they are both 'joiners', and, in the 10months they have been there, they have made a real effort to start being part of the community where they have moved to.
I don't know if you are 'joiners', but I do think the fact you have no-one to move closer to will make it difficult and no reason to move (such as one of you having a job elsewhere). Added in to the fact that the place you live is the only place you have known.

Personally, I wouldn't want to move because I would be leaving so many people that I know here. I don't mean the close friends - you'll probably keep in touch with one or two - but all the people I bump in to as going about my daily life, that I know.

@Wheresthecheese Do you mind me asking the name of the village?

Its Broad Haven in Pembrokeshire

We moved when I retired at 58, to a city with good medical services, loads to do, good transport, live music etc. It was cheaper than where we were living. I would say move as early as possible so you have time to build up a social network and develop some good friendships. There are always loads of things like U3A and 'meet-up' groups in a larger town or city, and personally, although I love the countryside, I'd avoid very small places as there's often a lot less to do - although I have a friend who lives in a small village which is incredibly friendly and vibrant but this hasn't been my experience. If you leave it too late you don't have as much of a chance to put yourself out there and could end up isolated. I'm very pleased I moved when I did and the city I live in, while not perfect, feels like home.