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Original poster

Joint Mortgage, where do I stand?

76 replies

Purelyfictional · 02/07/2022 13:33

Hi! My situation is a little bit complicated so I'm hoping somebody has some advice for me.

I moved into a new house with my (ex)fiancée 4 weeks ago. We're both women. Getting a mortgage was a bit of a struggle. She paid for the deposit and a substantial sum towards the house using inherited money (her mother died last year). The plan was for her to get a mortgage for the rest (171k) in her name, and I would pay towards our living costs each month.

Unfortunately, my (ex)fiancée has a terrible credit score due to being financially abused in the past. She asked for us to have a joint mortgage, as my credit score is good and this was the only way we could go ahead with getting the house.

I wasn't able to contribute financially because I'm currently earning less than minimum wage as an apprentice, training for a professional career. She fully supported and encouraged this, convincing me that we'd make enough money between us to get by. Once I qualified, we would have much more financial equality and of course we were going to get married anyway.

Everything fell apart 2 weeks ago when she announced that she was leaving me. It's all been very out of the blue.

So where do I stand now? My name is on the mortgage, so this is my house, but I haven't contributed financially. As far as I can tell, I have the right to live here until I can find somewhere else.

I feel it would be morally reprehensible to push for any financial gain from this, but what are my legal rights?

Thank you all in advance. This was meant to be our family/forever home, I'm beyond devastated.

OP posts:
Threetulips · 02/07/2022 13:39

Depends. What’s the plan going forward?

Are you selling?
Is one if you moving out?
Have you been asked to leave?

Original poster
Purelyfictional · 02/07/2022 13:42

I'm going to move out and see if I can find somewhere that I can afford to rent. She isn’t rushing me, because she knows it has been such a massive shock.

She wants to stay in the house apparently. I'm not sure how she'd be able to have the mortgage alone though, given that she needed me to get the mortgage in the first place?

OP posts:
Igmum · 02/07/2022 13:46

Fair point but that isn't your problem any more. A definite case of not your circus, not your monkeys. Contact the bank to let them know. So sorry about the breakup and hope you find somewhere nice.

Tothepoint99 · 02/07/2022 13:47

What do you want to achieve out of it?

If you genuinely don't want any part of the house but just want time to find a place then you need to call the mortgage company and say you want to be taken off the mortgage and you ex will have to deal with the fall out.

Igmum · 02/07/2022 13:47

P.S. Definitely contact the bank though, otherwise you are equally responsible for the mortgage

RiderOfTheBlue · 02/07/2022 13:49

Sounds to me like she's used you as a way to get the house. She couldn't get a mortgage on her own so she gets you to do it then decides a couple of weeks later that the relationship is over. Smells fishy to me. You need to put yourself first in this, she certainly is.

Original poster
Purelyfictional · 02/07/2022 13:53

Thank you for all of your replies. My instinct was to get myself taken off the mortgage as soon as possible but I spoke to her today and she said I shouldn’t do that yet so that I have ‘security’ for now.
She then revealed that she has a job interview next week for a position that would almost double her income - so I’m guessing she’s trying to stall me until then.

OP posts:
Original poster
Purelyfictional · 02/07/2022 13:56

Would I have any legal entitlement to ask her for a small amount of money to help me establish a new set up? Or is that just a really awful thing to even consider doing to someone?

I guess just walking away from it all would be better for me in the long run.

OP posts:
Pluvia · 02/07/2022 14:04

What security is she offering you? The security of not having a roof over your head but with your name on a property that she could default on, leaving you liable?

You need to contact the lender, say you've split and take it from there.

Crikeyalmighty · 02/07/2022 14:06

You have been massively used here- what a total bitch

Original poster
Purelyfictional · 02/07/2022 14:06

Thank you, I’m going to contact them now

OP posts:
Original poster
Purelyfictional · 02/07/2022 14:09

Crikeyalmighty · 02/07/2022 14:06

You have been massively used here- what a total bitch

That’s definitely how I’m feeling - I think I’ve been very naive in believing that she wouldn’t be capable of this

OP posts:
genericusername789 · 02/07/2022 14:10

I'm surprised you were both accepted for a mortgage if one of you has bad credit and the other not earning min wage!

You can't just take yourself off the mortgage, she has to be in a position to manage it and with bad credit that's not likely.

You're both responsible for the debt. You need to sell and repay, there's no way you'll be accepted for a rental with a mortgage still in your name and earning min wage, if she defaults on a mortgage payment your credit score is impacted.

Pluvia · 02/07/2022 14:12

As you're on the mortgage and have the right to stay in the house I don't think it would be unreasonable to refuse to leave unless she finds the money for, say, a deposit on a rental property for you.

I'm afraid that, reading through your OP again, it does look as if she's used you for your excellent credit score. Are you sure it was she who was financially abused in a previous relationship? She seems to have persuaded you to give her something of value. I do hope you can get through this without ruining your own good rating.

Pluvia · 02/07/2022 14:19

Seeing genericusername's comment has left me wondering how this was done. It does seem strange that she can have a bad credit record and you're on minimum wage and yet together you managed to obtain a a mortgage.

Original poster
Purelyfictional · 02/07/2022 14:23

It wasn’t easy! We went through two solicitors and it took them several months to find anywhere willing to give us a mortgage. We knew we were far from ideal candidates

OP posts:
Original poster
Purelyfictional · 02/07/2022 14:26

genericusername789 · 02/07/2022 14:10

I'm surprised you were both accepted for a mortgage if one of you has bad credit and the other not earning min wage!

You can't just take yourself off the mortgage, she has to be in a position to manage it and with bad credit that's not likely.

You're both responsible for the debt. You need to sell and repay, there's no way you'll be accepted for a rental with a mortgage still in your name and earning min wage, if she defaults on a mortgage payment your credit score is impacted.

This is a very very interesting comment - I hadn’t thought about not being eligible to rent while still on the mortgage! My head has just been so scrambled. I’ve been arranging viewings all day but I guess I’ll have to backtrack on that until I can come off the mortgage.

I just hate being in this house right now. Continuing to live with the person who broke your heart is just horrendous

OP posts:
Tothepoint99 · 02/07/2022 14:31

One step at a time. Sounds complicated.

I would make getting off the mortgage the priority as you are not really emotionally invested in it having owned it for such a short period of time.

Call the bank and explain the situation?

There must be many ex partners paying the mortgage on a formal marital home and also the renting so I don't think it's impossible but your wage dictates where you stand on that I think.

3monkeybars · 02/07/2022 16:28

Whose name is on the deeds of the house? If both, are you joint tenants or tenants in common?

Sitdownifyoulike · 02/07/2022 16:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at OP's request.

StuckInARug · 02/07/2022 17:00

is your name on the property deeds? Or are you just a guarantor on the mortgage?? If the latter then this leaves you in a very vulnerable position

RenegadeMrs · 02/07/2022 17:10

You need to sell the house and cut your losses. She can't get a mortgage on her own and you can't trust her to run the mortgage account and not get you into trouble by missing payments. If you leave her to it and she doesn't pay while you are still on the mortgage it will go against you too.

Original poster
Purelyfictional · 02/07/2022 17:10

Both names are on the deed, we’re joint tenants.

OP posts:
caz198917 · 02/07/2022 17:11

Igmum · 02/07/2022 13:46

Fair point but that isn't your problem any more. A definite case of not your circus, not your monkeys. Contact the bank to let them know. So sorry about the breakup and hope you find somewhere nice.

Sorry this is not correct advice. The mortgage is in your name (sole if I read correctly) and you are fully responsible to ensure payments are made. Any default of payment will impact you. Just because you leave the property does not mean you are no liable. (I work in Mortgages) if your ex partner wants to take over the property she will need to secure a mortgage in her own name which it doesn't sound like she will be able to.

caz198917 · 02/07/2022 17:13

Tothepoint99 · 02/07/2022 13:47

What do you want to achieve out of it?

If you genuinely don't want any part of the house but just want time to find a place then you need to call the mortgage company and say you want to be taken off the mortgage and you ex will have to deal with the fall out.

It's not as simple as being asked to be taken off im afraid.