Joint Mortgage, where do I stand?

[Purelyfictional]

Hi! My situation is a little bit complicated so I'm hoping somebody has some advice for me.

I moved into a new house with my (ex)fiancée 4 weeks ago. We're both women. Getting a mortgage was a bit of a struggle. She paid for the deposit and a substantial sum towards the house using inherited money (her mother died last year). The plan was for her to get a mortgage for the rest (171k) in her name, and I would pay towards our living costs each month.

Unfortunately, my (ex)fiancée has a terrible credit score due to being financially abused in the past. She asked for us to have a joint mortgage, as my credit score is good and this was the only way we could go ahead with getting the house.

I wasn't able to contribute financially because I'm currently earning less than minimum wage as an apprentice, training for a professional career. She fully supported and encouraged this, convincing me that we'd make enough money between us to get by. Once I qualified, we would have much more financial equality and of course we were going to get married anyway.

Everything fell apart 2 weeks ago when she announced that she was leaving me. It's all been very out of the blue.

So where do I stand now? My name is on the mortgage, so this is my house, but I haven't contributed financially. As far as I can tell, I have the right to live here until I can find somewhere else.

I feel it would be morally reprehensible to push for any financial gain from this, but what are my legal rights?

Thank you all in advance. This was meant to be our family/forever home, I'm beyond devastated.

That’s another factor I’d not considered, that definitely drives me to seek at least some sort of compensation for what she’s done. I don’t even want a lot, just enough to survive. In September I should start receiving minimum wage, then after 18 months I should get a professional wage. It’s just a long time to survive on very little with such insane living costs.

Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.

OP is going to be on the mortgage - and responsible for paying it - until her ex is able to get a mortgage for the whole amount in her name. Which sounds like it might be some time.

Your name is on the deeds!!!! You own some of the house - dont just give it to her!!!!!

I doubt the ex partner would default though if she put a substantial deposit down and intends to stay. She'd be throwing that away.

OP I'd stay put for a while, at least while you are taking time to figure out your options. You own the house jointly, I doubt you have to go anywhere while that's being sorted out. A bit like a couple divorcing but cohabiting for the kids while they sort the financials out. Get legal advice.

You need to speak to a lawyer asap - unleSs
there was a document ringfencing it - you own half the house so half of the equity in it.

she’s been awful so you don’t owe her anything.

property to be sold and mortgage paid off and then you split what’s left half and half

I think you need legal advice. Did you have a decent solicitor or just use a conveyancing firm?

If the latter, gather all the house buying paperwork together and go see a irl solicitor firm that deals with conveyancing. I think financially you need to know what thr risks are and where you stand. You will need to pay, but there is tye potential for bad legal advice to cost you significantly more than the cost of a lawyers advice.

(Also, did you buy jointly or as tenants in common? That changes your legal position. Tbh a good solicitor should have taken you through all of this when you bought)

It won't be easy to remove your name from the mortgage but maybe when she gets the new job she can get a mortgage in her own name. I would definitely be looking for compensation for losing first time buyer advantages. Maybe 10% of house value or thereabouts.

I am saying 10% of value partially because she has 100% used you to get a house and caused you massive hassle in addition to heartbreak.

I think you need legal advice and should be looking to walk away with as much as you can possibly get. She has used you in a very callous and calculating way. You really owe her nothing, while she owes you a lot as you have enabled her to buy a house.

If she has been foolish enough to con you into taking out a mortgage with the deeds as 'joint tenants' rather than 'tenants in common' to reflect the unequal financial contributions, I would say you should take your fair share in any split.
You cannot just walk away from the debt in your joint names, the property needs to be sold in order to repay the mortgage. You should stay in the property 'living separately' until the sale is concluded. Do not walk away and leave her in possession of the house. You need legal advice.

Contact the mortgage company they will tell you what to do, there will be cancellation costs which will be deducted from the deposit and any extra you will both be liable for.
Its up to your ex what she wants to do but it will mean a new mortgage just like a divorce unless one wants to continue, and you don’t!.

Thank you all for the replies, I’m trying to digest it all. We had an amazing solicitor, but I don’t know if I could afford her advice on this. My (ex)partner is not being entirely unreasonable, so I’m hoping we can reach an agreement. I personally agree that we should be selling, but I don’t know if she will unless she’s forced into it. I don’t think she’ll get the mortgage on her own though, so she will have to. I think 10% is more than reasonable. I’d feel guilty even taking that (the house is valued at 260k currently). So I’d be happy with less. I just need something to survive. Since she convinced me to undergo this training and I have so little to live on, I just feel so vulnerable.

She sounds absolutely horrible. Did she give you a reason for the break up? You don't just randomly stop wanting to be with someone you have proposed to if you are a stable and level headed person.

So either she has used you, or she's not stable or level headed, yet you have committed to a 30 year debt of hundreds of thousands of pounds all for her?

Wow.

Stop being upset about her and get angry. Refuse to leave, it's your home. She can leave? Or she can buy you out? Make this difficult for her and stand your ground, literally.

Feel free to date and live your life too whilst living there. There's more than one bedroom right? Set up there. Ask her what she' prefer to do; leave or you leave? Then make arrangements for that.

She's used you and now wants to spit you out; don't be spit out. Get stuck in her teeth.

Please stop feeling bad about this. unless you're keeping something terrible you did to cause her to break up with you from us here, she's really out of order. You sound like the victim of some emotional abuse that you have expressed guilt many times here yet you've done nothing wrong, in fact you've gone out of your way for this person.

These replies are possibly the first thing to make me feel better in the past two weeks! Thank you for that.

So far she has given a really odd and mixed list of reasons for the break up, depending on her mood.

1. she’s changed as a person since her mum died
2. she regrets proposing to me and doesn’t think she ever wants to be married (she’s already been married once and engaged once before me)
3. I never provided her any support - despite me being there for her as her brother died, then a year later when her mum died
4. I’m too much of an ‘independent spirit’ and she needs someone she can be closer with A few weeks prior to this I was her ‘soulmate’. She planned her proposal to me for over 6 months, she designed the ring herself and had it that whole time.

She’s clearly not in a good place with her mental health, I don’t know if the house move triggered something or she met someone else. She’s giving nothing away. She insists she is very certain about what she feels though, and she doesn’t want to be with me.

That’s mainly while I feel bad - I don’t want to make life harder for someone struggling with bereavement and mental health conditions when I loved her more than anything.

*why not while!

This approach really speaks to how angry I am, but I just don’t know how I could demand money for a house I didn’t contribute to? I feel like, morally, I don’t want to be that person

Go to a solicitor and get them to ask your ex for reasonable expenses/compensation. You'd really need a solicitor anyway (I did when I split from my ex and he kept the house, I also didn't ask for much as he paid the deposit and I didn't live there long, but I still needed a solicitor to sort the mortgage). Ask your ex for enough to cover your legal fees, and some compensation as you'll no longer be a first time buyer. She'll probably need to sell the house, so it might get unpleasant if she doesn't want to. That's even more reason just go through the solicitor and not get into discussions with her about it.

Thank you, I’ve contacted a solicitor this evening following this advice. Hopefully I’ll hear back on Monday. I feel that legal fees and 10% would be more than sufficient for me to walk away from this.

God, what a mess for you op- so sorry you've found yourself in this situation. You've had great advice and it's great that you have a moral standing not to take anything but legally as joint tenants you have equal rights to the whole property and your ex has been really silly in not ringfencing her deposit contribution. She's really screwed you over here (first time benefits and the effect that the rigorous mortgage checks would have had on your credit file, not to mention the stress of extrapolating yourself from this - my mortgage company charges a 5% exit fee). Get good legal advice and don't walk away without something. What a situation to have to deal with when you're also in the middle of a breakup - hope you're ok

@Purelyfictional . I grew with others that this looks very much that she has used you to get the house and then finished your relationship. However, matter not, there are difficulties.

If she has a bad credit record, even doubling her income won't make her more eligible for a loan so she may struggle to remortgage. To take you off the mortgage (and deeds) she WILL have to remortgage in her name only.

Whilst you have a joint mortgage, you are jointly liable for the payments. Whilst it doesn't sound likely, if she stopped paying, the debt is as equally yours as hers, although you don't sound in a position to pay. However, if she stops paying, you are also liable for the arrears. .

It could affect you renting, depending on questions asked. I suspect it won't

It all sounds somewhat of a mess really. Sorry for what has happened to you

As she was able to get a joint mortgage with you. I suspect she would find someone eventually who’d offer her a mortgage in her name only, as long as she earns enough. It would likely be for a much higher interest rate though.
I think asking for 10% would be very reasonable. Are you sure you didn’t sign a deed of trust though to protect her deposit. It would’ve been very unusual for a solicitor to not have suggested that in my experience.

Hi, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you sell up now, then you are likely to have to pay a redemption payment on your mortgage/ a fee for ending your mortgage early. Depending on your terms this could be tens of thousands of pounds

Also your estate agent and legal fees for selling are likely to run into the thousands too

That just means there is less equity left though. It’s her ex that will suffer those consequences. If OP is only asking for 10% plus legal costs then there’ll be plenty left to pay that to her.
You may well need to force the sale though OP and I wouldn’t hang around in starting that process. If she ends up defaulting on the mortgage then your credit rating will be damaged for the next 6 years!
Also you need to stay in the house until your name is off that mortgage and you’ve been paid out your share, for the shitty way she’s used you. That’s very important OP. I’m sure that’s what the solicitor will advise you do anyway.