How would you drive Phil and Kirsty mad?

[Doubleraspberry]

Setting aside any of their political views of course...

We are starting to house hunt and have viewed a couple of houses. We are being pretty realistic and ready to accept compromises, but in an alternative world I AM that person who says the driveway is too long.

Actual specs we are working off:

4/5 bedrooms
Decent amount of living space to allow for adults and children to co-exist, and adults to WFH
Space for a dining table
Some outdoor space - big enough for some seating
At least two loos, preferably two bathrooms
Near enough to infrastructure that we can live without a car if needed

Specs I could drive someone into the ground with:

Must have a mature willow tree in garden, and garden not be overlooked at all
Must have lots of window, with light window frames, ideally wooden (but in great condition)
Must have views of countryside but be very well connected to everything essential on public transport
Huge driveway with parking for several cars
Kitchen must have a lot of storage and work surfaces
As many roof lights as possible everywhere so I can listen to the rain falling on them
A cat flap

..and a 3-phase supply for the kiln, no doubt......😉

Very near the sea but not at risk from global warming. Also not wind-blasted. Countryside view as well.

Future-proof so probably a bungalow (see above re near sea, it’s all bungalows) but 4 beds (as kids still at home and 2x WFH) and spacious reception rooms. But any bedrooms on the top floor can’t have low headroom. And bedrooms on the ground floor not next to the kitchen or living room (noise). And also still need a view remember.

In a very very quiet road for the cats, no roads with more than 4 cars every 15 mins within cat-roaming range. But near the shops and a bus stop. Walking distance of the DC’s school.

An annex for my mum would be great. But we still need a garage.

(These are all my genuine requirements, let me know when you find it. My dream house that meets all these requirements, other than it’s not a bungalow and prob a bit far from the bus stop, is currently on the market but sadly £1.25m is out of my price range)

"These lovely east coast views should be from a south west facing rear windows and garden."
😂

Brown windows are the ugliest thing that has ever happened. I can't understand how anyone ever ever ever thought they looked good. They are awful. There is nothing good about them and they have spoiled every house they have ever been involved in.

Preach. They make me sad.

Visible otters.

Sounds like my house (if an creative estate agent was selling it to you). We can see a willow tree from our house and if the teenager stands on the roof outside his room he can see the country park.

Detached 4 bed with wooden porch, monkey puzzle tree, cottage-style windows, boot room, walk in shower, range cooker

Currently buying a house with not one of these features. But it has a nice shed.

Saw that. They’d been looking for eight years and still couldn’t find anything!

Kirsty has a penchant for knocking down walls, to make open plan areas. I hate this. Much prefer separate reception rooms.

I said this to DH once after viewing a house... he said, "But you can't reject a house because you don't like the windows!" Guess he knows me better now

My favourite ever was the woman who rejected every house for the most spurious reasons - then, when on the last roll of the dice they found the most perfect place imaginable, she said, ‘I just think I’d like it more if there was another way up to it; if it wasn’t just this one road. I just can’t imagine coming up this same road, every day.’

If I was Kirstie I’d be fetching my spade.

I’m unlikely to ever have (or need) a house with a big garden, but if I did, I’d essentially want it to be my childhood garden. It was full of little hidden corners and passageways through the trees; I could spend hours at a time there, or find balls and garden toys I’d forgotten I even had because I hadn’t been in that particular bit for a while.

This is exactly what I want to! If anyone is selling such a house, please PM me!

I want a large but manageable mature
But self weeding garden

Not overlooked and semi rural but walking distance to a pub

She was my inspiration for the ‘too-long driveway’. I seem to remember the brief was for a Georgian rectory and they found the most gorgeous specimen, only for her to pull that one out on them.