House move - do we pull out of a house I don't love?

[heg502]

Oh gosh. We're hopeless. We have finally come to the conclusion of where we should move to. It's been 18 months but we have an amazing pre school / school in mind and after so much doubt (difficulties leaving where we are!) it seems to be happening.

We found an affordable house, but no real garden. Ex council, borderline catchment for this amazing school. We got in a bidding war and I feel we're paying OTT for it.

Things are all moving rapidly but the garden niggles me - with three year old twins, we have a dog and cat too. I've seen one or two houses since we could probably (at a push) afford, more centrally catchment and with a garden.

On the one hand, I worry about (a) our indecision (I confess, over this 18 month period we have put in offers and then pulled out - due to difficulties deciding on the town). (B) the timescale, we are literally at the point of exchange, and girls are due to start pre school in Sept, and (c) affordability (we'd be stretching ourselves working more hours to get the better houses, which wouldn't be great for our children's settling in to a new environment).

Would you just go with it, see it as a stepping stone to move again soon? Or would you go for the better house now?

So confused.

go for the better houses. The iffy catchment and non-garden will be a huge pain and you’ll end up moving again at vast cost.

When you say "no real garden" do you just mean it's quite a small one? I think outside space is important, especially with children, but could cope if the house is good otherwise and there's room for them to play out there.

Would they still be able to go to the pre school if you don't move right now?

If you are going to pull it out do it this week before it goes any further as we've all seen the posts on here of last minute buyers pulling out the day before etc and you don't want to be that person!

Saying that, if you're not going to be happy, and you definitely sound like you have huge doubts, then you need to make the decision now. You'll probably feel a huge relief when you do and then you'll realise it was the right thing to do.

Being in the edge of catchment is a gamble. Just depends on number of kids in given year.

You have to live there. If it's going to make you miserable don't do it.

Good luck

over this 18 month period we have put in offers and then pulled out

So that’s at least 3 houses you’ve pulled out of? Gosh you need to give your head a wobble.

The garden size hasn’t changed. Nor has the location.

If you are going to pull out pull out. I’d suggest rented for a while longer if you are so indecisive.

If you are not convinced it is the right house, then I would rethink. You are setting a deadline around pre-school, but I would have no issue with moving my children in early primary unless they have and SEN that make it extra hard to move.

Thanks guys. It's always helpful seeing your posts. So conflicted. Definitely don't want to be the people letting someone down. the owners are lovely and will no doubt leave it all in good condition. We used to make clear decisions, before the girls!

The garden is small. It's paved, maybe 7-8 paving slabs long? So some space, but wouldn't be able to fit much in it, certainly not have a run around.

We live somewhere with a long garden and quite rural atm, and are moving to a more urban area to be nearer family (and with great schools).

Definitely can't commute from where we are, and haven't felt particularly welcomed at my dads (who is near where we'll be moving), although he might be persuaded (there are after all, 4 humans and 2 animals to cope with, and he has a cat himself).

Need to be sorted before Dec/Jan this year when school decisions are made....

You need to stop offering on houses you arent sure about. Constantly pulling out is a shitty thing to do to the sellers.

Pull out. But be really sure before you offer on another property.

What do you mean by 'constantly'? I read the OP as offering on this one house, so it is not 'constantly'?

Need to be sorted before Dec/Jan this year when school decisions are made.... @heg502 you are putting false deadlines in place and therefore increasing the pressure on you. It is not a problem for a kid to go to pre-school in town A and then school in town B.

If you had an extra year to look, would that make things less stressful?

This with bells on. Stop messing people around

If you don’t love it you shouldn’t have offered. Catchment is iffy meaning in future years it may shrink and you won’t get in to the schools either. And the garden thing-why offer on a paved garden when you have small children?
think carefully before you offer on the next house-you’re playing with peoples emotions/time and energy. To do it once is acceptable but you’ve done it on multiple houses now and it’s a shitty thing to do.

its In the OP

On the one hand, I worry about (a) our indecision (I confess, over this 18 month period we have put in offers and then pulled out - due to difficulties deciding on the town).

Is there a park nearby?

I would be mindful that the other houses that come up may sell for more than asking so you may not get them either way.

You're comparing a house you've had an offer accepted on with houses that you haven't. You might never get those other 'better' places due to another bidding war or just not being in the right place at the right time. And do you really want to be stretching yourself to the limit when the prices for everything are going through the roof? Everyone has to compromise on some things when they buy a house. To repeatedly pull out after having offers accepted suggests you're the problem, not the houses.

It’s not right. Stretch yourself and buy a more suitable house.

It’s difficult, OP. We viewed and fell in love with a house last summer, had an offer accepted but then nothing happened for months. We ended up putting a deposit on a new build which I didn’t love. It was nice enough but not my ‘forever home.’ Then suddenly everything started moving with the house I did love.

What are the schools like where you are now? And have you viewed the schools? I’m just asking as I know a lot of people who went to view the outstanding primary everyone wants their child to go to and came away feeling decidedly underwhelmed.

It’s true it’s not a great thing to do to the sellers though especially as things have slowed down a little bit.

Pull out and take time before offering again. You will resend living in this house with barely any garden and may well not get into the school you want anyway.

She says ‘offers’, which clearly suggests more than one offer. I agree and stop putting in offers. It’s not fair to the sellers. The garden is obviously a huge issue, as it would have been when you made an offer.

Thanks. I think putting in offers and withdrawing is quite common in the current market. It is a mad market, stress on all sides is ridiculous.

We had a long period of looking and selling, I am pretty philosophical about it all now.

I'm trying to buy & it's very difficult in this market. Nothing comes up except one house, then it's an open day with 15 mins tour & best & final. It doesn't give you time to process such big decisions & then 2 wks later another house comes up. Plus the process has slowed the other end leaving you more time to fret.

Firstly I don't get why you offered with a tiny garden and young children.

However, I'd still go for it at this point if there's a decent park / open space to play nearby, on the basis that the house suits you otherwise, you seem indecisive and might never move otherwise, and other houses might end up going for more or to other people anyway.

I don't understand why you would put offers on houses that are unsuitable.

looking at the better houses, will you get the finance noting you will need to increase your working hours and have you considered pre -school is for limited hours and you will still need to consider wrap around care?

You seem to be making a lot of decisions around the school, what is amazing about it and have you inspected the school as well as others?

we all want to live in the nicer houses, in the better areas with kids at the premium schools. You need to look at what you I can afford and if you want that better lifestyle, make the changes now by adjust ing your work pattern

Im 6 years on from buying a house i didnt want because we needed to move and im still not settled and admit to resenting dh who was so keen and encouraged me that it would work out.
So id say dont proceed but equally stop messing people round with offers youre not committed to

Do you own your current home? I think that makes a difference.

It's good to get on the ladder. Although, ATM, house prices are bonkers! Could you rent for a bit near the primary you want and stay there till your dcs start schooled? Then catchment won't matter so much when you want to buy.

But do stop getting into bidding wars on houses you aren't arsed about. It's probably really stressful for everyone involved if you keep doing it!