House move - do we pull out of a house I don't love?

[heg502]

Oh gosh. We're hopeless. We have finally come to the conclusion of where we should move to. It's been 18 months but we have an amazing pre school / school in mind and after so much doubt (difficulties leaving where we are!) it seems to be happening.

We found an affordable house, but no real garden. Ex council, borderline catchment for this amazing school. We got in a bidding war and I feel we're paying OTT for it.

Things are all moving rapidly but the garden niggles me - with three year old twins, we have a dog and cat too. I've seen one or two houses since we could probably (at a push) afford, more centrally catchment and with a garden.

On the one hand, I worry about (a) our indecision (I confess, over this 18 month period we have put in offers and then pulled out - due to difficulties deciding on the town). (B) the timescale, we are literally at the point of exchange, and girls are due to start pre school in Sept, and (c) affordability (we'd be stretching ourselves working more hours to get the better houses, which wouldn't be great for our children's settling in to a new environment).

Would you just go with it, see it as a stepping stone to move again soon? Or would you go for the better house now?

So confused.

Agree.

We opted not to use an agent that did open days and tried to slow down our sale in order to give viewers time to think. Still had two accepted offers subsequently withdrawn!

The market is mad.

You need to stop putting in offers on houses you are not sure about. It sounds like you have done this at least three times before so don’t think it is a big deal, you may have grown desensitised to it? It is a really shitty thing to do. Things are complicated enough without chaotic people like you.

Also, bear I mind that the houses you are eyeing may go for well over asking price. If they look significantly better than the one you have an offer accepted on and are the same price there's a chance they will sell for a lot more.

Like a pp, I also hated our house when we moved here 7 years ago and was trying to convince dh to move almost immediately! But now he is making noises about moving and I really don't want to 😂. So it can go either way. I will say that we are in catchment for loads of schools, including some.good secondaries, which we will need in the next few years. It's worth checking out secondary schools too in case you stay in the area

Pulling out "at the point of exchange" is an awful thing to do.

Also, the other houses you are seeing which you prefer and could afford "at a stretch" will most likely go for much more than they are listed at, due to the market currently.

Kids just need a little outside space to play in. They also won't be harmed if they attend a school which isn't outstanding.

I think you need to relax.

Are you near any green spaces? A park? It can be easy to feel like you need a big garden but actually, a garden is a lot of work which, if you're working a lot is a pain. Also, when kids a tiny, gardens are great but as they get older, besides kicking a football about, in my experience, most kids want the space and socialising of the park over a garden.

Stick with your decision. A wobble near exchange is normal. Ride it out and trust your judgement.

Is this house near very good secondary schools as well as primaries?

If not, you'll probably be moving again so you need to decide is this a 5 year move?

Sounds like you are borderline in catchment so nothing is certain.

We spent a long time finding our 'forever' home, probably around 18 months as well. It was a learning curve, through this process, we learnt what were our non-negotiables and what could we compromise on. We were moving areas as well so were fairly angst ridden about moving schools for our Yr 1 son.

As we saw quite a lot of houses, loved some aspects, hated others; it meant that when we found our home - which had a great location, space and potential - we were confident we made the right decision

Will you have cost other people in the cha

Will you have cost other people in the chain money? Will they have had surveys carried out?
One of my kids had an offer accepted on a flat and the stupid selfish woman owner changed Her mind the DAY after my kid had the survey carried out. It was a full survey so very expensive.

There is a fine line between being nervous and cautious and behaving like a complete selfish shite!

This is why even though I accepted offer on mine I categorically told the agent they should not spend money on anything until I have found a house I am totally happy with. Estate agents keeps pushing me to instruct to instruct a solicitor even though U have not found anywhere yet.

A friend of mine bought 7 years ago- a totally compromise house in an area he didn't like much- still feels exactly the same despite huge improvements. I would pull out - are you renting? If so I would see if you can move onto rollover contract and don't offer unless you know you really want it

It’s not common, it’s in fact very cruel.

When I sold mine last year, two people did it to us.

I didn't find it 'cruel'. It is a business transaction.

It was frustrating, but not cruel.

It doesn’t sound like you are convinced it’s the right house for you, but of course it’s realistic to accept some element of compromise when buying a property.

Can’t understand why, you would get into a bidding war, for a property you don’t love though?

If you decide to pull out, do it ASAP. Just be aware that EA, may not take you too seriously if you keep pulling out of purchases, without good reason.

I used to be like this with decision making but I had CBT and worked on it, it still comes back when I’m really stressed.

I was in your position (well, similar) in 2004 and I went ahead. I’m really glad I did. I think you need to bite the bullet and carry on with the purchase.
It doesn’t sound as if you can afford a place that’s central catchment with a large garden without significant compromise and I am not sure that now is the time to be stretching oneself financially even if you were the lucky bidder on a different house (and let’s face it, if you’ve got a reputation for flakiness amongst local estate agents, you probably won’t be successful because they’ll tell the vendors about your prior behaviour and the houses will go to other, more reliable bidders).

I moved into this place 16 years ago and realised I had made a mistake and wanted to pull out of the sale, my husband talked me into it and said if you don't like it we will move on. 16 years later still here and lived with what I still think was a mistake. If in doubt don't do it, or you will live to regret it.

I would step back. Though i dont know what your current house situation is. No garden with kids and pets sounds like a bad idea. Working extra to get it sounds like you overstretched. I wouldnt buy.

As it is barely in catchment that alone should make you think twice about proceeding as catchments may well shrink (especially if more parents pull their children from private schools/don't go down the private route etc. as the cost of living bites). Why don't you rent in catchment, get to know the area properly while prices - very probably - drop and then make a committed offer on a more suitable place?

I wonder what the op did bearing in mind it was 6 months ago.