Building works - quiet periods over nap time

[LondonNQT]

A and B live in terraced properties and share a party wall. B is due to commence an extensive renovation of their property - A has two children aged 2 and 4.

A has requested that the builders stop work every day during nap time - they would like this included in the party wall agreement.

Is this reasonable?

You can't do anything with people like this. Every concession you make will be insufficient. Keep a record of everything though and if they use their headed paper to send you any letters or work emails, do let their employers know. Law firms take a dim view of their employees pretending they have their firm's backing.

I'm assuming by your username that you live in London? And she's worried about yoir building affecting her children's lungs??

No it's ridiculous

Not reasonable at all lol

Talk about entitled

I would politely respond to say the builders lunch hour is (this time).Perhaps you could adjust the nap time to that time.

Some people completely lose the plot over neighbours extensions. My former neighbour seemed to think it was her duty to make things as difficult as possible for us to protect her assets. This included her printing off the entire Party Wall Act, reading and highlighting what she thought was each relevant section and putting it through our door one night. We don't have a party wall, we're in detached houses.

Oh my, I wish I had known this was an option when my neighbours had their extension done and I had a 1 year old!! 😂

Thanks to them she now has a digger obsession 😂

Joking aside it was only the initial bit that was noisy and it's their right to do what they want on their property. I cannot tell them when or what to do!

We got a lovely box of chocolates after and they have their lovely new space!

No, ridiculous request.

YABU unless you are to pay the builders to have a nap every day too.

Excellent point @Clymene - I hadn’t thought of that, thanks. I was so concerned about my own DBS checks that I hadn’t considered implications for them with their professional bodies.

Yes, exactly, we’re in London… Again, why but here?

We have genuinely tried to be accommodating but that’s exactly how I feel - nothing we could ever do would be enough for them. It feels to me that they have tried their utmost to obfuscate and control our plans and build at every opportunity.

I have greeted her, and him, a few times since the ‘requests’ to stop doing so because, quite frankly, it’s an utterly ridiculous request and I’m tired of her trying to control everything.

There was also a ‘request’ from her at one point that all comms go through the DH’s. Despite it being emasculating, which was probably the point, I complied - to keep the peace. By the fourth time that she contacted my DH directly I’d had enough and pulled her up on this. She denied all knowledge of the previous three instances, no apology for the fourth time either, and claimed that it was reasonable given the severity of the issue. This issue in particular involved the party wall and they had immediately contacted their surveyor, there was no need to contact us directly at all.

They genuinely seem to think there should be one set of rules for them and another for everyone else entirely.

To be clear - I’ve decided to stop greeting them since the last conversation where he said there have been tears and it’s affecting their children.

My students would ask ‘why you so triggered Miss?!’ and my therapist would very kindly suggest that this was probably a reaction to something else, rather than the immediate issue, as it’s such an excessive response to someone simply saying good morning.

So I although I don’t agree with the request it does sound like she’s currently going through an acute mental health crisis so I don’t want to make it worse. I’m not a mental health professional, clearly, this is purely based on the pastoral care I provide to teenagers in my capacity as a teacher.

I will continue to push back on their entitled behaviour but I’ll stop the greetings.

No.

@GeneLovesJezebel
That’s a blast from the past. The Aston twins?

[quote fluffiphlox]@GeneLovesJezebel
That’s a blast from the past. The Aston twins?[/quote]
Yes.

@LondonNQT

I’ve now been asked to not speak to them on the street (I thought good morning/afternoon etc was just common courtesy) as I did so aggressively and it’s causing upset. There have been tears in their house over it and it’s affecting the children.

Jesus wept.

Don’t speak - sing instead.

Eg
Good Morning from Singing in the Rain.
Afternoon Delight
Goodnight Sweetheart.

I have an aggressive neighbour. If he’s out when I’m walking my dogs, I say “watch out” and then sing (quietly) “ watch out, there’s a nutter about”. Very quietly. As he is a violent alcoholic and I don’t want a punch. But it gives me a semblance of control.

Completely unreasonable

They sound the worst combination of entitled and completey barking. No, building work is no fun for anyone, especially neighbouring properties, but it is a fact of modern life and everyone just needs to get on with it in the most considerate way possible, but accept that there are some aspects where you just can't be considerate.

I've also asked a neighbour if they could ask their builder to do quieter work when DD had an extremely important interview during lockdown and that was fine as it was for 45 mins, was a one off as it was important and I asked nicely.

Can you plan a basement conversion/ dig out next? That would really get them going (but I'm just a bit evil at times).

@onemouseplace one could, in theory, apply for planning for a basement without the intention of going ahead. They’d spend the next three years wondering when it was going to start 😆

So good to vent on here - thank you! DH is trying so hard to keep them on side that he’s no fun in that regard. I have found my people.

😂 I actually negotiated quiet nap time for my 1 year old when our neighbours did an extension. They were really good about adhering to it. We asked for an hour and they just used it as lunch. No way my one year old would sleep with drilling the other side of her wall! We agreed to be out for the very worst bit.

We had lovely neighbour relations as a result and amicably settled all the little issues. I helped them with their planning permission issue and didn’t kick off when things went a bit wrong.

Totally unreasonable