How can I find a big enough house to accommodate disabled Mum?

[Wisteriahills]

I have been looking for a bigger house near where we live to accommodate my disabled Mum, after my Dad passed away last year. I cannot believe how expensive everywhere has got and I just cannot see anywhere that I would want to live in that would have suitable space. I can find lots of places that work for us as a family, but add my Mum into the mix and it feels impossible. We currently live in a lovely but compact 4 bed but it has steep stairs and no space to extend as small plot. With teenagers already bursting at the seams as only one reception plus kitchen, plus 2 of us working from home. What kind of house could I buy/extend that would be suitable? Mum is expecting own bedroom, bathroom, living room plus ideally kitchen. 4 bed detached in my area is around £900K-£1 million. We have budget of up to £1 million but can't believe we cannot find something suitable for that.

Where?

Would your Mum be buying into the property or are you looking to buy somewhere yourself with enough room for her? There are big financial implications if the former.

@MrsMoastyToasty we are in Gloucestershire - can be flexible on area but need to be close enough to Cheltenham for schools.

@PragmaticWench have spoken to financial adviser so aware of implications. Plan is we extend mortgage and buy in our names only and Mum gifts us a sum at later point when she is ready to move from her house.

Can you find somewhere that you can add an annexe to? We were looking at places big enough for what we wanted but struggled to find anything (wanted a large annexe) and managed to add the perfect space to our existing house. Original house worth about £850k and the annexe cost around £180. We saved so much on extending vs moving to the house we almost bought, which was £1.2 before factoring in moving costs and stamp duty. Or you could go for a purpose built granny annexe. Sometimes I think you just have to build to get exactly what you want.

That sounds a decent budget for around Cheltenham, do you need to be near the centre for schools or can you travel in if needed? We know several people in the Forest of Dean/Chepstow area who commute in for school and work, so perhaps that might work? I also know people in the Bishops Cleeve area which is nearer but can be more affordable for a bigger home. Perhaps look at a house with land for an outbuilding/room for a conversion or annex?

If you go onto right move in safari you can add annexe in the search bit and search 40 miles in any area you can find houses suitable .
I live in the south and you can get it around here for that budget jist about !

I don't really know a lot about Glos/Chelt area but I'm looking for something similar in a different area, But, I'm amazed at what you can get that way for your money! I might have to rethink my re location

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/121175117?utmcampaign=property-details&utmmcontent=buying&utmmedium=sharing&utmmsource=copytoclipboard#/&channel=RES_BUY

If you're buying a house specifically to house your mum when she needs it, doesn't it make sense for her to give you the money now, to put towards the deposit? Or does she need to sell her place to release money?

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/121347257

No idea of the area but this

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/121700876#/?channel=RES_BUY

This one has the room on the side to add an extension

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/119058344#/?channel=RES_BUY

This is definitely a full gut/remodel project but again has room on the side for building out.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/121460702#/floorplan?activePlan=1&channel=RES_BUY

[quote Wisteriahills]@PragmaticWench have spoken to financial adviser so aware of implications. Plan is we extend mortgage and buy in our names only and Mum gifts us a sum at later point when she is ready to move from her house.[/quote]
Did he not mention that if your mother sold her property now, the joint amount would cover a house with an annexe, and you could avoid inheritance tax?

Equally you could buy a place the right size for you now, but with sufficient room to extend, and when she’s ready she can sell her place and build an extension.

I wouldn’t be happy about extending a mortgage on the promise of money that may never come. Bad idea.

I’m surprised he suggested that tbh.

Be careful, if your Mum gifts you her money and later needs a care home and doesn't have funds fir it (around £1000 per week) then the local council will consider it Deprivation of Assets. They will check where her money has gone and will probably go after you for it. If the money is tied up in your house they can put a charge on your property to recoup the money needed for the care home.

Thank you for all the links. I think the problem is all those are in areas we have discounted - Mum refuses Gloucester and tbh not keen myself (there is a reason cheaper) further west means difficult for me for weekly commute to Oxford. The issue I think I have is I live in a very nice area, want a slightly larger house in a similarly nice area and doesn't look like that is possible. Mum doesn't want to compromise on area (wants easy access to doctors, shops etc as can still drive short distance), teens don't want to live rurally, which I would be happy with. Also we really need somewhere accessible - so can't have a top floor of house like my granny had, or even a garden flat wouldn't work. Think we need at least 2500 sqft for all of us to be comfortable but ideally 3000 sq ft. I am totally happy to compromise on looks - ugly house doesn't bother me as can always tart it up, but really don't want to compromise on area.

There are just too many demands and I am finding it very stressful trying to balance everyone's needs plus the thought of caring/demanding job/teens. Feels like I am trying to square a circle. But the idea of moving somewhere I don't like and paying more is just depressing... But yes think the extension is probably way to go so maybe just have to wait and find somewhere that has enough space to do a side extension.

@PragmaticWench there will be sufficient money for care if needed so that shouldn't be an issue, plus her disability is to do with mobility and so pretty confident wouldn't be seen as deprivation of assets as no other health issues, it's more that she is lonely.

Would it not make sense for your Mum to live in her own suitable place close by to you instead.

This has actually been really helpful because the houses linked to could work to extend, it's just the location that is wrong. I need to really have a think about whether/where we can compromise on location.

@LadyDanburysHat that would make sense if she had any friends or went out. She had got a bit isolated with only seeing my Dad for last few years so has had no visitors other than close family since his death and no social activities. She really bucks up around family and becomes quite lively so we are hoping this will make her feel part of life not separate from it.

@WoozieFloozie there are cheaper areas in Gloucester definitely but there is almost a north/south divide between Gloucester and Cheltenham which is a bit mad considering how close they are.

OP, I live in Gloucestershire too and I'm just about to move house. I'm moving to a house where we're extending/converting an annexe for my disabled mum. We also need more living space (I have SEN children) and both me and DP work from home. I was very clear that I need a completely separate home to my DM - we're not moving in together. But will be adjoining. So very similar circumstances.

Your budget is much bigger than mine was - you will definitely be able to find somewhere if you're prepared to put up with the pain of a bit of building work.

It took us around 4-5 months to find the perfect place, but that's because our budget was pretty tight. There just aren't any houses with prebuilt annexes around so I would think you'll have to build to provide your mum with the space she needs plus meet your requirements. But absolutely it can be done around here, even taking your location into account.

My mum's annexe is going to have a full kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, study, living room and a little garden room/conversatory. She also has a small outside space which is separate from ours and faces a different direction.

It's definitely possible but it really does mean thinking about a house move in a completely different way.

You will have to look further afield than you are currently with those requirements and that budget. Gloucester isn't that bad and parts of it easily commutable to Cheltenham. "mum refuses" isn't very helpful of her.

@SpidersAreShitheads wow- that sounds amazing