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Original poster

Help me love my house again

29 replies

Zooforhouse · 04/03/2022 19:57

Have had a horrible 2 weeks, buyer pulled out, can’t find another and have lost the upwards purchase which was literally all we’d ever dreamed of. Just had the call that it’s going back on the market.

My current house is lovely, big enough (albeit half the size), and was also a dream come true only a few years ago.

I think we will come off the market for a while but I’m so sad that my house now feels inadequate.

How can I love it again?

OP posts:
BeBraveAndBeKind · 04/03/2022 20:14

What made you love your house when you bought it and why were you looking to move?

Original poster
Zooforhouse · 04/03/2022 20:26

I’d been living in my husbands house, this is the first house id owned. It has a big kitchen diner, small but secluded garden, a really nice bathroom etc. we’ve made it lovely. Moving for more outdoor space for the kids we didn’t have before, an extra bedroom/office as circumstances had changed, more living space. And period features if I’m honest. I’m sure our time will come, but I’m frustrated as I want to like THIS house again! Maybe it’s just time. I know that ultimately I’m very lucky.

OP posts:
BeBraveAndBeKind · 05/03/2022 09:04

This is going to sound a bit odd but try to look at it like you're seeing it for the first time again. Think about the joy that the garden has brought you, how nice it is to use the bathroom etc. Be in the moment and let it bring enjoyment rather than frustration. Something perfect will come up again.

I loved our last house, even the window frames but had to move for an extra bedroom. Everyone who viewed it commented on the lovely atmosphere it had.

Original poster
Zooforhouse · 05/03/2022 09:32

Thank you. It does have a nice atmosphere. It’s too heavy (town house!), the gardens small compared to the size of the house (not new!) but as soon as we saw it originally it had a nice feel.

It also looks great on rightmove 😂

OP posts:
Handsnotwands · 05/03/2022 10:13

We have a biggish garden. I’ve not stepped foot out there for at least 9 weeks and neither have the kids. It’s another space that needs time, energy and constant maintenance. Gardens are overrated. If there’s room for deckchair it’s perfectly adequate

sleepyhoglet · 05/03/2022 14:30

Let's see a picture!!

Whereverilaymycat · 05/03/2022 18:46

I agree with @Handsnotwands every time I see a house online with a big garden I feel a twang of envy. Then remind myself that we can hardly keep on top of the space we have already!

Can you add an office outside? Convert a garage or any existing space? That might get you some more time out of it and should pay for itself if you do move?

Original poster
Zooforhouse · 05/03/2022 19:34

We don’t have enough outside for offices-husband somehow snuck in a shed! I think maybe we will keep trying, I’m just so disappointed and we were so close, it feels impossible! Our garden is nice, it’s a courtyard with nice plants, and furniture etc, it’s just the kids would like some grass, and I thought we were getting there!

I am whining, I’ll stop 😂

Help me love my house again
OP posts:
Original poster
Zooforhouse · 05/03/2022 19:35

Didn’t actually mean to add a pic, the giraffe is possibly outing 😂

OP posts:
Whereverilaymycat · 05/03/2022 20:02

I actually love your garden!

But the heart wants what it wants. We seemed to lose out so much when we were buying, but we got there in the end. I think in this market you need to get your hard hat on, muster all your resilience and try not to get too emotional about it. You will get there eventually.

Quitelikeit · 05/03/2022 20:05

I’ve lost a house before that I was v v keen on. However for some reason I accepted that it wasn’t meant to happen and that helped me come to terms with it at the time.

Now when I see the house I’m quite relieved that I didn’t get it!!! Crazy I know but there you go

Original poster
Zooforhouse · 05/03/2022 20:24

Thank you, I sort of love it too, it’s colourful!

The house was massive, old, exceeded budget and single glazed. The universe maybe trying to tell me something….!

OP posts:
Starseeking · 05/03/2022 20:47

Your garden is gorgeous OP!

Doing something like painting a couple of the rooms in a new bright colour may help you see the house in a different light?

Subbaxeo · 06/03/2022 08:37

I love your garden. Could you use the money you’ve saved on something really nice-a lovely piece of art, a new sofa, dining table or a great holiday? Plan to redo a room or 2 so it looks fresh again? Can you reconfigure existing space to accommodate wfh better? You loved it before you moved in-buying a huge money pit may have brought on serious buyers remorse where you longed for your old house. I speak from experience there!

FiveShelties · 06/03/2022 08:40

Your garden is lovely and I so want that giraffe.

Original poster
Zooforhouse · 06/03/2022 09:19

Thank you! I do know that ultimately my garden and house are lovely, and that’s why I feel so annoyed that I now feel couped up. I have ordered a print for the kitchen and a flower subscription…… can’t go too mad as still got to pay the surveyor and solicitor 😡

OP posts:
Ruralbliss · 06/03/2022 09:24

This exact same thing happened to us in Oct. We lost the onwards purchase & nothing else suitable to buy when we got new buyers but amazingly after a month of looking the original house came back to us as their new buyers pulled out.

It was completely horrendous but although we loved the house we were in we had to move.

I'd say stick it back on, get it sold & either move into a different new house or rent so you can snap up something bigger and more suitable for your needs now rather than stay in a house you've outgrown.

Frenchfancy · 06/03/2022 09:25

Buying a large house with single glazing just as energy prices are going through the roof is probably not a great idea anyway.

Don't buy a house just so the DC can have grass. Take them to the park instead. Honestly, kids don't spend as much time in the garden as you think. Spend the money you have saved by not moving on some weekends away.

spacehardware · 06/03/2022 09:31

I completely understand your disappointment. But when things like this happen I try to bear this graphic in mind, first time I saw it, it really hit me

me.me/i/the-value-of-something-before-you-have-it-when-you-18243124

myusernamewastakenbyme · 06/03/2022 09:32

I sold my house last year complete with big garden to buy a house with a tiny one...I don't miss the garden at all...in fact i love that i barely have to do anything and it looks neat and tidy.

spacehardware · 06/03/2022 09:33

Also, for the cost of estate agent, stamp duty, removals you could have a big whack towards extending / redecorating your existing house.

Invitationtoclose88 · 06/03/2022 09:35

A practical suggestion: order some seeds from Thompson & Morgan and plant them indoors in seed trays over the next few months in seed trays, to go outside once the risk of frost has gone. A few veg that are suitable to be grown in containers on the terrace like dwarf beans, Tom Thumb tomatoes, courgettes, cut and come again salad leaves, herbs like basil & mint and hardy and half hardy annuals like sunflowers, nicotinias, lobelias, marigolds, sweet peas etc. That will give you something to look forward to in early summer.

Squidinkk · 06/03/2022 09:39

Think of all the money you'd have had to put into the new house. Over budget and it's single glazed? With energy prices going up?! No thank you!

Can your husband rent an office or a hot desk in a local business centre type thing? We have a few popping up near us where you can rent a desk or a office for about 70-150 a month. Maybe compare that to how much your mortgage payments would have gone up. That might help if you're not all tripping over each other all the time.

I fell out of love with my house, but can't afford to move so I'm redecorating this year. We spend so much time in the house these days it needs to be a nice place to be.

ivykaty44 · 06/03/2022 09:41

Rearrange your garden furniture and get outside matting for the children to play on, much nicer than grass anyway

Make a hideaway corner with cover and lights

It’s not the space size always but how you arrange it