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Property/DIY

Join our Property forum for renovation, DIY, and house selling advice.

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Original poster

Anyone living very much BELOW their means and…

82 replies

Boobicoosg · 27/01/2022 10:07

feeling low because of it?

Let me preface this by saying, it’s all relative etc etc, I am glad to be fed and watered and healthy… but…

It’s been several years now of ‘waiting to buy’ the dream family home. We’ve made very sensible decisions but I feel now, I’m really fed up. Again, very lucky to have a lot of money but it’s just waiting to be spent on the house of our family’s dreams. Currently living in a house we bought outright so we could settle into the area. We thought we would at most be here a year. Now it’s two, and a new baby has arrived. It’s a new build estate, a small semi detached, that is about 1/5th of our actual budget.

Feel like I can no longer breath in it. Both my partner and I love old period country properties and want to be rural. I don’t like it here, from the dog poo that is all around to the type of neighbours (any neighbours in fact 😂). I know it sounds snobby but, I didn’t work this hard for this long, not to be in the house I deserve. I feel I’m getting old waiting!

So tell me off or tell me if you’re in the same situation. Or tell me about your dream home purchase so I can live vicariously through you! We aren’t even fussy and would compromise on a few things but there’s nothing on the market!!!

OP posts:

Rebuildingconfidence · 27/01/2022 12:34

Oh just to add as well we bought a house that cost about half the amount of what the banks were willing to lend. So we could have theoretically bought the house of our dreams (if we could ever agree on what that was) but neither of us wanted the stress of a giant mortgage. All of our bills have doubled since moving so I am glad we didn't stretch ourselves.

Fetchthevet · 27/01/2022 12:34

If only we all got to live in the house we deserve. What a wonderful, just world that would be.

NotVictorianHonestly · 27/01/2022 12:40

I really wouldn't buy a new build if you're planning to sell on. It'll devalue and be hard to get your money back on

Oblomov22 · 27/01/2022 12:44

Third and fourth - last summer - we really liked but top of budget and needed work!

You don't seem to have very realistic house buying expectations.

Get hunting. Bid. Buy. Just get on with it.

If there's not very much around then just accept that and buy what you can.

Original poster

Boobicoosg · 27/01/2022 12:46

@Fetchthevet

If only we all got to live in the house we deserve. What a wonderful, just world that would be.

I know, I know, I feel very bad for using such a twatty word, I was really having a pathetic e-tantrum!

OP posts:

lastqueenofscotland · 27/01/2022 12:46

@RussianSpy101

Sounds like you can’t afford the house you want from your update so you probably need to lower your expectations and widen your search criteria. Decide what you are willing to compromise on and have another look.

Came on to say this

SheWoreYellow · 27/01/2022 12:50

You’ve been looking for four years?! No wonder you’re a bit twitchy.

I agree that you need a big rethink of your search parameters. Also have you tried identifying possible properties and leafleting them?

Original poster

Boobicoosg · 27/01/2022 12:51

@Shadedog that quote is pure gold and I think it is playing a part here. Awful to be in limbo though isn’t it?

@shedevill @EvaLution I’ve grown up rurally next to a farm, so I do want peace and quiet. I’ve also lived in a Victorian property with all its quirks. Husband is very hands on, excellent wirh old houses so we are lucky there. I think you guys have touched on something though. Have viewed houses in our budget and felt a bit discombobulated, as in ‘does someone like me really live in a house like this?’ and then felt nervous about it. I was really hoping that I would see a house and ‘know’

OP posts:

Calmdown14 · 27/01/2022 12:55

What do you plan to do with your acres? Just wondering if the desire for so much land is in conflict to the things you need at this stage of life where access to schools, activities etc is part of life with small children.
It seems a massive contrast between settling for a new build and the dream.
What you seem to need is your next 20 years house.
Have you looked at houses with big gardens rather than houses with land?
I think you need to book a load of viewings and just see what you both do - or don't - agree on.
As Kirstie and Phil say, don't dismiss on internet alone as something unexpected may just feel right

Calmdown14 · 27/01/2022 12:55

I meant 10 year house but can't type!

saleorbouy · 27/01/2022 13:02

If the perfect home is elusive why don't you buy a plot and build your own dream home.
Your could have an energy efficient home with all the features you love.
Go for it, build your own grand design!

Original poster

Boobicoosg · 27/01/2022 13:03

@Rebuildingconfidence

I understand. We have just moved after spending ten years in a house we bought as a "temporary measure". It was too small for us (two bed one reception) but it was perfect in many ways and made looking very difficult as other places didn't compare in terms of room size and location.

Husband and I also had radically different ideas of what we wanted in a new house.

For the sake of our family and as a wise move, we both compromised on what we deemed essential and found a property we agreed on.

I had to get myself out of the mentality of a house being the embodiment of my hopes, dreams and aspirations. Essentially it's a large box for living in. We now have four times the space and don't know what to do with ourselves. I actually miss our previous house even though it was completely unsuitable for our needs. I know my feelings are irrational and I know I have done the right thing in moving.

I think that’s it! You’ve got it - ‘get myself out of the mentality of a house being the embodiment of my hopes, dreams and aspirations’

That’s the problem (sorry guys I know it’s not a real problem) both husband and I don’t care about cars, holidays etc but we both love homes and looking at homes, architecture, history of old buildings etc. It’s right at the top of maslow’s hierarchy for us, self actualisation - the dream home 😂. I have got other things out the way whilst searching though, like having kids, dream job etc.

And yes I have thought of going on location x 3 and almost applied but too shy. Kirsty is just as out as touch as me, so it would be fun. Imagine the Twitter comments!

OP posts:

Original poster

Boobicoosg · 27/01/2022 13:06

@saleorbouy

If the perfect home is elusive why don't you buy a plot and build your own dream home. Your could have an energy efficient home with all the features you love. Go for it, build your own grand design!

We have looked at this! One of those old but new type Georgian homes. There was the perfect plot that came up but the house was 695k - 70s bungalow extension on extension type thing. Just too expensive to knock down and start again!

OP posts:

Marimaur · 27/01/2022 13:10

‘The house you deserve’.

I’m sure you’ve worked hard, maybe just as hard as someone else who hasn’t had the same opportunities.

Original poster

Boobicoosg · 27/01/2022 13:10

@Calmdown14 I am definitely in agreement there, I would have a large garden instead and the 4 acre land has dropped off our list. It was in my husband’s mind all large rural properties should have a certain amount of land. I think an agent told him that

OP posts:

Booboobibles · 27/01/2022 13:11

I’d just like my own bedroom and not to be sleeping on a sofa bed and waking up in pain every few hours because it’s so uncomfortable. Plus a tiny garden so that I don’t have to walk around outside in my dressing gown in the middle of the night if one of them needs the loo.

Forgive me for not feeling sorry for you :s

Booboobibles · 27/01/2022 13:11

One of the dogs!

Dashel · 27/01/2022 13:36

We spent 2 years looking for a dream house with a very large search area (6 counties), we had a good and flexible budget for what we wanted, but couldn’t find the one and then when we did the owner decided not to sell. I still would have loved that house three years later, it was perfect.

In the end we had to compromise and decided that going in at the cheaper end of the budget and buying with no mortgage made it easier to do that. We don’t have the land we wanted (maybe a local farmer will sell us a bit and we may get lucky and get change of use or just rent it back to them) we have the detached and very rural location and wildlife with no noise but we had to redo the property and getting s builder has been impossible so we have been busy and we also are off grid which was not something we had even discussed before this house. It’s too expensive to join up when our solar and wind equipment is so good and reliable.

Maybe scale what you want down a bit and look for things with an open mind. Like the mystery houses on the property programs.

Original poster

Boobicoosg · 27/01/2022 13:38

@EvaLution all very good points worth considering - it’s a semi rural search really. 10 minutes drive radius around the town and 30-45 mins to work. We’ve looked at town houses too but none float the boat! Just too many people/roads around and being overlooked.

I will keep questioning though. Thanks for helping me out , we are both totally fed up now so will put house on market next month and get gone! Who knows where though!

@Booboobibles sorry for your difficulties 💐

OP posts:

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 27/01/2022 13:39

DH and I are similar… not arsed about cars, or fancy holidays, or ‘stuff’ in general, but houses are very important to us. We spend far more time than is healthy on RightMove. We’re not in the position financially to get our ‘dream home’ yet but are working towards it. In the meantime we live in a perfectly nice, perfectly large enough, perfectly pleasant house that we just don’t feel ‘right’ in. Very self indulgent, and if it never happens then it never happens, but it’s good to have something to aspire to!

Original poster

Boobicoosg · 27/01/2022 13:40

@Dashel yep think we will have to do something like this!

OP posts:

Volterra · 27/01/2022 13:51

Fair play for admitting you had a bit of a tantrum! Have you joined local Facebook pages and asked if people know of anything coming up? I’m hoping to buy something currently going through probate that I know of though a friend. No idea what it is like inside but don’t care as will be able to change that and plot is right.

senua · 27/01/2022 14:02

it’s a semi rural search really. 10 minutes drive radius around the town and 30-45 mins to work.
That's the holy grail. No wonder you are getting outbid.
Is it worth the risk of waiting until all the Covid upheaval is over - when some folk realise that they don't like the rural dream, especially when WFH is over.
You want to look for rural in wintertime, not in Springtime when all the cute lambs and catkins are out!

Derbee · 27/01/2022 14:05

I don’t really understand whether you’re wanting to buy your next house outright? If so, you clearly have a huge amount of savings, so buy your dream house, and get an extra (smallish) mortgage?

hughfurrywit · 27/01/2022 14:06

We've been looking for almost 2 years. We finally compromised on location to a degree (though in a lot of ways it's a much more convenient location with 2 small DC) for a house which has a great "feel" and the right layout in terms of bedrooms and living space. Plus 1 acre. DH would've preferred more rural but we couldn't get the house and land to match up despite a good budget. So we compromised.

I think unfortunately that every house comes with a compromise, no matter how much you have to spend.

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