Regret buying my house

[nirvanaviolet]

I bought my first property earlier this year. A large three bedroom semi with an extension and a big garden - house was built in the 1960s and extenesion and conservatory added in early 00s.
No issues arose with the survey.
The property seemed lovely when I viewed it and through the purchasing process but since I have bought it and moved in I have realised I hate it. I am constantly paranoid about things going wrong although touch wood nothing has yet. I hear creaky floorboards and instantly think the property has dry rot, wet rot, anything. I've convinced myself in the past few weeks that the house has japanese knotweed, subsidence, damp issues, despite there being no actual evidence of any of these things.
Every noise I hear in the house I am paranoid something is going wrong or the roof is going to fall in. I can't relax in the house as I can't keep noticing all the little DIY tasks that need doing. I am scared to start any renovations in case it's a waste of money - for example I want my shower room updated with new shower tray and enclosure etc but I'm scared there's going to be some underlying issue with the room that will cause it to cost thousands more.
It has got to the stage where I can't relax in the house at all. Even in bed I'm staring at the ceiling convincing myself there is going to be a leak. Everything seems like such hard work, I can't maintain the garden well on my own and I am crap at DIY jobs due to dyspraxia so I feel like the house doesn't look anything like i want it to.
I've been searching for We Buy Any House websites and similar wondering if that is the best option - to just give up house ownership and go back to renting - although my understanding is that as I'm in a two year fixed mortgage I would have a hefty repayment fee.

I'm not sure what I'm looking to get out of this thread. Reassurance I'm not alone perhaps? Is this a common issue with home ownership? What can I do to reassure myself about the structural soundness of this house? Any help appreciated as I am miserable here at the moment. Sorry if this makes me sound ungrateful.

Also, if you’re employed, check if you have any benefits for healthcare. The therapy sessions I had were free, via my employee scheme.

The GP will probably just put you on a waiting list and try to give you anti depressants or something, that’s what mine did. My therapist said I wasn’t depressed, I was having panic attacks and needed to address why.

@TheLeadbetterLife

Also, if you’re employed, check if you have any benefits for healthcare. The therapy sessions I had were free, via my employee scheme.

The GP will probably just put you on a waiting list and try to give you anti depressants or something, that’s what mine did. My therapist said I wasn’t depressed, I was having panic attacks and needed to address why.

I'm a day rate contractor (inside ir35) so don't have any employee benefits as such but I believe the company I am doing contract work for has a health care assured scheme which is open for use by contractors as well as perm employees. So I'm gonna check that out. Thank you!

Just in sympathy really, I've just bought a house, I love it. But I'm a single mum, struggle with diy and doing the garden etc and also feel massively overwhelmed. Every morning when walking through the house I think, I need to paint that ceiling, I need to clean out that cupboard, I need to buy different furniture because my old stuff doesn't look right here. Every single day, despite loving the house, I feel hugely overwhelmed and can't wait until these intrusive thoughts about all the jobs I need to do quieten. I was renting for a few months and had none of these thoughts because it was never my responsibility so I get how renting doesn't create the same level of stress.

Untimely, I think home ownership is better than renting, mainly because it's cheaper!! But also you're secure and in control. I also recommend a visit to the docs as others have suggested, you have a lot on your plate. Or try calms or rescue remedies. Spend a bit more time with friends and family. I also think the issue is you rather than the house, you're overwhelmed and need to go easy on yourself and not make any rash decisions.

Just a little tip re the garden.

My mum said this to me years ago.

Pick a small square, maybe even a metre square and do that. Only.
Do it so you can look back on it and see what you have achieved.

Put a chair out there and enjoy that achievement.
Plenty of time to plant things that will come up in Spring.

I would love to have a garden but haven't got one.

It's good exercise, will save you the money of going to the gym.

Gardening can also teach you patience and resilience. growing plants isn't a quick fix.

You could always rent out your house and then rent a new build? Then you're still on the property ladder but don't need to sell and be charged a fortune in early exit charges.

You don't have a problem with your house.
You have a problem with anxiety.

This. Maybe the whole house buying and moving process has brought on the anxiety and that's why it's focussed on the house.
As pps have said, speak to your GP.
I hope you settle in your home soon

It sounds like you've bought a great property. I think your dad looking round will really help you.
1960s is a good era. You don't have the issues associated with Victorian like lack of foundations/ damp proof courses etc..or repairs carried out with modern materials that don't allow it to breathe etc.
You have plenty of contingency to cover unexpected expenses.
Getting to know tradesmen really helps. Knowing that you'll just ring a number for a plumber, electrician etc makes everything easier.
If you see any neighbours getting work, find out who they use and if they would recommend them

@tortoiselover100

You could always rent out your house and then rent a new build? Then you're still on the property ladder but don't need to sell and be charged a fortune in early exit charges.

I feel like I wouldn't be a very good landlord! I think I would still be very anxious and then be responsible for two properties effectively!

@Henry9th

I sold my previous house within 6 months of purchasing with no issues. Mortgage lender just asked for a reason which we had.

The new buyers didn’t care at all. But we paid for a damn good survey to prove the house itself was fine!

Does sound like anxiety though….. be careful to not make hasty decisions based on anxiety (I’ve done this and regretted it)

This is basically what we are doing - I'm nosy can I ask why you're selling (sorry to hijack OP!)

Oh god, do NOT rent the property out. That’s asking for 10x the anxiety.

@nirvanaviolet

Thanks all for the replies. It is surprisingly reassuring to hear so many people say I am being unreasonable, and that the problem is with me and not the house. Objectively it is a nice house, could be modernized a bit more and does need updating of some things throughout but structurally good bones. I think I am comparing things to a lot of my friends who have bought four/five bed new builds with stunning kitchens and bifold doors and it makes me feel a tad jealous when I look around and see scruffy bits that need updating. But as pp have said, new builds aren't without issues, I know this.

I have requested an appt with GP just now and am going to look into some anxiety counselling.

I didn't extend myself with the mortgage at all compared to some of my friends - I take home about £2300 a month and the mortgage is £550 per month. So not too too bad. I could have probably stretched myself more but I am glad I didn't as there is in theory enough scope for me to save up a good emergency fund.

Thank you all for your words, they have really helped.

I don't think people are saying you're being unreasonable so much as your fears are unreasonable. Being stressed after buying a house, especially for the first time, is normal, it's just that it seems your stress is getting the better of you a bit. Some help via your GP does seem like a good idea. If I begin to get a bit too worried in the we small hours about any aspect of this house (which is a doer upper and has a lot of things that need doing) I remind myself that even if the gale blowing a hoolie round the upper storey feels like a hurricane about to take the roof off, the most recent bits of it have been around for about 50 years and are still sitting here happily regardless of weather or anything else, and that even houses far and away worse then this one don't fall down (if houses did routinely fall down, it would be in the news, and it's not). Everything else is fixable. As in the immortal words of The Hitchikers' Guide, 'Don't Panic'.

Our previous house was a 60s one. Like most 60s ones, it was a great house, lots of light, when more modern ones tend to have poky rooms and titchy windows. I;d have had another 60s one if I could have found one where we needed to be that was the right size. And yes, the floorboards creaked. It's just because as temperature changes, the individual boards move slightly and rub against each other or against central heating pipes. That's why they often creak when the heating comes on, or off. I think of it as the house being like a nice old dog settling down in its basket to sleep. More modern houses don't have the same thing, because they tend to have ply or MDF floors, laid in big sheets. I'd rather have the creaks, myself, as all those boards will 'gas off' the glues that hold them together. If you have an annoying one or two that creak when you step on them, a decent carpenter or DIY person should be able to sort them out for you by resetting them.