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Original poster

Does anyone prefer living in a flat with kids?!

49 replies

goteam · 19/10/2021 19:22

We have an offer just about to go through on a 4 bed house which is literally double the space of our current 3bed flat. The kids bedrooms are v small but cosy and we all kind of live on top of each other in 800 square feet but I'm getting cold feet about moving. The house is double the space but I'm beginning to think we don't need it. We will just fill the space for the sake of it.

We were visiting friends in a similar sized house to the one we are buying and it feels like there is a lot of dead space and keeping hold of things they dont need because there is space to. We are ruthless declutterers.

Have I become institutionalised to small spaces or do some people prefer flats?! We love our neighbours too and it feels secure and safe.

Kids are young, maybe with teenagers it isnt so much fun in a flat...

We have a big garden which helps and actually the new house, while bigger has a smaller garden

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onlychildhamster · 19/10/2021 19:28

I am following cos I am thinking of upgrading to a 3 bed flat from my 2 bed flat as it will enable me to live on a better street (London). The cheaper terraces in my area are either tiny or not in the best locations and are also generally more expensive.

Is yours a conversion or purpose built- asking cos its unusual for a flat to have a private garden unless it is a conversion? I find that most 3 bed flats are conversions (at least in my area), and I am a bit wary of them as i used to live in a victorian terrace and it was not very comfortable!

Clementine8 · 19/10/2021 19:31

We went from a flat to a house and we haven’t filled the place with extra stuff. If anything we ditched even more when moving. We do love having the extra space though the garden is smaller in the house but the space inside is so much better.

userchange987 · 19/10/2021 19:32

God no. A large detached house with enough rooms for our own space and big enough rooms for family time, bliss. I couldnt go back to a small house.

KoreyBay18 · 19/10/2021 19:35

I love living in a flat but it is just me and my 4yo DS.

If I had more kids, was living with a partner, or had older children who needed a bit more privacy and space the flat wouldn't work well.

Original poster
goteam · 19/10/2021 19:43

@onlychildhamster it is a conversion with two other flats in the building hence the large garden. The house we have found is further away which is fine and why we get more space for our money but I just cant get excited about it. It is everything we thought we wanted and yet the prospect of moving just depresses me!

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Original poster
goteam · 19/10/2021 19:48

I should add that DH and I are city dwellers and I have lived in the heart of several big cities (Paris, Berlin) and love it. Have lived in different flats for 20 years

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Mosaic123 · 19/10/2021 19:53

Some of the space in a house is used up by the stairs and two halls. In a flat there are usually no stairs. Teenagers like not being within hearing distance of their parents.

Original poster
goteam · 19/10/2021 20:17

Good point @Mosaic123 . We have a small summer house in the garden but I guess that not the same!

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KittenKong · 19/10/2021 20:18

What’s the service charge like?

Original poster
goteam · 19/10/2021 20:24

Hi @KittenKong it isnt really about money. We can afford our current place or the new place comfortably

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KittenKong · 19/10/2021 20:37

Oh ok (our service change has quadrupled since we moved in, plus extras for window replacements etc, so it can get crazy).

Starseeking · 19/10/2021 20:38

Before I sold my old house, I was living in an Edwardian semi of about 1,200 sq ft. It had 2 large separate reception areas, plus a medium kitchen and downstairs loo under the stairs. Upstairs there were 3 double bedrooms and a bathroom that included a double size walk in shower, as well as an extra large bath.

When lockdown came we were so thankful of having the extra (separate) spaces. At the time, it was me, DP and two DC under 3. It meant one of us could be in one reception working while the other looked after the DC during the day, then swapping over. It was also useful to be able to get away from each other when we needed space.

Since experiencing having lived in a decently proportioned property, my new house is of a similar size (I wouldn't look at anything less than 1,000 sq ft), and in a couple of years I'll be extending to take it to over 2,000 sq ft. I really don't think you'll regret having more space OP.

Original poster
goteam · 19/10/2021 20:51

@Starseeking yes, lockdown meant we all got a little stir crazy and sick of each other. I have to say on rainy days I do feel there is no escape when the kids are bickering but bickering kids are just annoying full stop!

Lockdown also meant we had our neighbours around at a social distance and that was also nice.

Having only one bathroom is frustrating sometimes and the new house has two which I know will come into their own in 3 years when my eldest becomes a teen. We just feel down about moving

We are in a laterally arranged high ceilinged flat with loads of light and it feels bigger than it is because of that. We have a lot of lateral and built in storage. In fact when I was looking at 1200 square foot terraced houses they had much less storage.

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Original poster
goteam · 19/10/2021 20:52

I mean vertical storage not lateral

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Betsyboo87 · 19/10/2021 21:03

We live in a flat - me, DH and our toddler. We’re not in the UK and where we are (European city) it’s very common to find families living in flats. I really like it, we’ve decluttered massively and now only really have what we need. I’ve never been emotional attached to objects so it’s fairly easy for me. I also hate clutter which helps. I find it easier to keep tidy being all on one floor and cleaning is much quicker. We don’t have our own garden but there is a lot of communal garden space and children’s play area. It’s full of families when the weather is good so it’s sociable too. We do have a good size balcony though.

DH isn’t as keen and I think would prefer a house with a big garden. I expect we’ll move to a house one day as it’s definitely not a forever home but tut now I’m enjoying it.

Peggytheredhen · 19/10/2021 21:09

I moved from a large three bed flat with a garden when DD was 2. At first I missed the flat and location. Now I love the space I have with two kids and care less about living within walking distance of a city.

Tough choice though.

Original poster
goteam · 19/10/2021 21:13

@Betsyboo87 same here, DH is more keen to move to a house. Our kids are almost 8 and 10 and we always thought that this was the point at which we would move. The house we have just offered on is not my dream home either though. New build and quite ugly with ultra modern kitchen rather than the edwardian house with an aga I dreamed of owning when I was younger!

To own that dream home we would have to move out of London though so we stay and choose between an ugly 4 bed house and a small but more aesthetically pleasing 3 bed flat. Neither are ideal!

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SD25 · 19/10/2021 22:32

I think six months down the line you'll wonder how you survived in the smaller flat

onlychildhamster · 19/10/2021 22:51

@goteam on the bright side, the 4 bed house would probably have better insulation and you would be thankful for that when you remortgage if indeed mortgages are going to be linked to EPC ratings in future. Also perhaps for your newbuild 4 bed, it might be cheaper (and easier) to retrofit a heat pump.

I have no idea how I can fit a heat pump onto my 2 bed flat (or my 3 bed flat in future or a small terrace). But I would never be able to afford bigger than that so I don't have much of a choice. In the past, I would have agreed wholeheartedly with the Edwardian house with aga as the 'ideal home' but now I am not so sure.

Duckrace · 19/10/2021 23:33

I would say don't buy what you don't love.

Original poster
goteam · 20/10/2021 08:03

@Duckrace we dont love it but we can't afford what we love around here which is a lovely large Edwardian house with a huge garden for £3million so we know we have to compromise!

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AlbertBridge · 20/10/2021 09:05

I'd worry more about the location. That's what really affects you. Are you currently central but moving out to a suburb?

Original poster
goteam · 20/10/2021 09:42

@AlbertBridge currently central but house is 0.5 miles away so slightly further out but still central. Both locations are nice (well, gritty zone 2 and zone 3 London and not for everyone but we think they are nice!)

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AlbertBridge · 20/10/2021 10:56

From zone 2 to 3 is probably find. And a house probably stands more chance of increasing in value faster than a flat.

I don't know. I kind of feel if you're happy where you are, stay! I've made 3 major house moves in my life and honestly I've regretted it for ages each time. 😂

Original poster
goteam · 20/10/2021 11:15

@AlbertBridge I am a risk averse person so that's my current position! I am thinking do we wait 4 or 5 years when the kids really need more space. We are always out and about (in normal times) so the flat is more of a base but a nice cosy one!

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