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Original poster

Does anyone prefer living in a flat with kids?!

49 replies

goteam · 19/10/2021 19:22

We have an offer just about to go through on a 4 bed house which is literally double the space of our current 3bed flat. The kids bedrooms are v small but cosy and we all kind of live on top of each other in 800 square feet but I'm getting cold feet about moving. The house is double the space but I'm beginning to think we don't need it. We will just fill the space for the sake of it.

We were visiting friends in a similar sized house to the one we are buying and it feels like there is a lot of dead space and keeping hold of things they dont need because there is space to. We are ruthless declutterers.

Have I become institutionalised to small spaces or do some people prefer flats?! We love our neighbours too and it feels secure and safe.

Kids are young, maybe with teenagers it isnt so much fun in a flat...

We have a big garden which helps and actually the new house, while bigger has a smaller garden

OP posts:

Playdoughcaterpillar · 20/10/2021 11:21

I think your kids will want more space sooner than you think. We moved to to house I didn't love for more space because it was a good move for us. I love it now we have done to our taste. At those ages I would be most motivated by school catchments for secondary.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 20/10/2021 11:27

I think you do get used to a smaller space. We live in a small terraced house (probably about 800 sq ft) and while we keep talking about getting somewhere bigger, I'm not actually that keen. Every time I go to one of my friends' massive houses I find myself thinking "Jesus, the cleaning..." And I agree that you'd end up buying loads of extra stuff you don't really need just to fill space.

Opoiii · 20/10/2021 11:29

Our 3 bed house is 750 Square feet, so slightly smaller but a house instead of flat. I like it but would not like to be without a garden so I wouldn't rather a flat.
It being smaller means it costs less to heat.
I'd love a second toilet and a bigger kitchen though. But not essential

Original poster

goteam · 20/10/2021 11:56

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal yes, I think about the cleaning too. We can barely keep on top of cleaning our flat as two full time workers. My friends with high houses keep way too much stuff they dont need anymore.

@Opoiii I would like those things too but it looks like there will be a trade off with smaller garden, unknown neighbours etc. Like you said higher heating costs too.

OP posts:

Original poster

goteam · 20/10/2021 11:57

*high houses? I mean big houses!

OP posts:

PhilInt · 20/10/2021 11:59

It sounds like you really enjoy your current position and it suits your lifestyle at least in the short term, your heart doesn't sound like it's in the move, so on that basis I wouldn't.

Original poster

goteam · 20/10/2021 12:05

Thanks @PhilInt I need other people to tell me that!

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Longdistance · 20/10/2021 12:05

If you’ve got cold feet have a warm bath.
I’d go nuts in a flat. The only downside to a larger place is more cleaning

onlychildhamster · 20/10/2021 12:06

tbh i wouldn't move unless it was essential now. Interest rates are going to go up so I can see london house prices dampening as the incentive to 'invest' in an expensive london residence is far less- previously in a low interest rate environment, taking out a big loan was cheaper than paying for higher commute costs, higher council tax (as council outside london tend to have higher council tax). It may be less so when interest rates are 1% by next year (up from 0.1%).

But at the same time, if you can fix your interest rate now at record lows for your larger property, that might be good. but at the same time, if property prices drop in unision, the cost of 'upgrading' may be less.

IslaPineappple · 20/10/2021 12:10

If you're happy where you are dont move yet. See how you feel in a year or two.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 20/10/2021 12:18

We are in exactly your position, only our planned move to a 4 bed house fell through yesterday because the buyer of our flat pulled out. We feel relieved honestly. We got swept up in the idea of the house, but when we really thought about it we were doing it because we 'should' rather than because we actually wanted to.

TurnUpTurnip · 20/10/2021 12:41

No I hate living in a flat but that’s because my upstairs neighbours are super annoying, it’s actually a gf maisonette but has a flat above it, would love a house!

Original poster

goteam · 20/10/2021 13:01

Oh no @OneRingToRuleThemAll why did the buyers pull out? Yes, we are thinking we 'should' more than anything.

@TurnUpTurnip we absolutely love our neighbours. They babysit, we have barbecues in the summer etc. That's one of the things we dont want to lose!

OP posts:

TurnUpTurnip · 20/10/2021 13:05

Oh that’s does make a difference then, ours are so noisy (5 people living in a one bed flat) we hear everything. I would never move into another flat again.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 20/10/2021 13:11

Our buyers had cold feet about the enormity of the purchase. We are close to London and property here is very expensive, so it was just too big a move for them. Although they are now staying in rented so long run I can't see they are better off. But that's their choice.

rexrampage · 20/10/2021 13:20

We're planning to move from a large 2 bed flat to a 5 bed house (zone 1 to zone 2/3). I grew up in a flat and I don't mind the experience of living in a flat - we've not had the issues that many others complain about (noise, needing outside space etc). I definitely love the convenience of living so centrally, and having everything on one level is great with younger dc. I don't think I could be happy living in a flat long-term though mainly due to leasehold, service charges and just wanting a real sense of ownership over the space. I often read about house renovations wistfully, being able to put your own mark on your home and configure it exactly how you want. Our flat could be large enough to convert to a 3 bed but we can't do it due to the lease. I also agree with a pp that a house is a better investment in terms of price growth.

I am the opposite of you OP in terms of decluttering and I get sentimental about stuff and hate throwing things out! I am a bit worried about energy efficiency though, our running costs are very low here as it's a good quality new build and we only put on heating for a few weeks in winter. Ideally I'd want a well-built modern house rather than a period house but they are rare.

MrsBobDylan · 20/10/2021 13:59

Hi OP, we are doing the opposite to you - downsizing from a four bed house to a three/four bed flat.

We are doing it for economic reasons but I have been getting rid of shit we don't need (and have never needed) and it feels bloody amazing!

We have just paid £2,200 to repair a drain which collapsed and I can't wait to be three floors up with no responsibility for that sort of stuff.

We have a town house and I won't miss trudging up and down carrying baskets of washing.

It felt huge when we made the decision but now I can't wait. Just need to get a buyer for our place.

AlbertBridge · 20/10/2021 14:17

What are the schools like where you are?

Verite1 · 20/10/2021 14:29

We live in reasonably sized flat of around 1200 square feet and good sized garden. When we were looking, the houses we looked at generally had less usable space due to stairs, landing etc. It was also great being close to kids and having no stairs was a bonus when they were little. As they are getting older, I am hankering after a house as long as I get at least another 500 sq feet of space. But that would mean moving from the area we love or spending a LOT more money.

Jasmine11 · 20/10/2021 14:44

The fact you have a garden makes a huge difference in terms of living in a flat. We lived in a large flat but it didn't have it's own garden. The house we bought isn't too much bigger than the flat but having our own front door and garden has made our lives so much better. If you have these things already and you are happy, then in your position I wouldn't go through the expense and hassle of moving. If you are sure you wont be priced out of buying a house in a few years if you wait, then stick where you are :)

blubberee · 20/10/2021 14:59

I went from a tiny house to a bigger flat and now I'm in a big house.
I thought I liked living in the bigger flat until I was evicted and ended up in my current house. Only now can I see how annoying living in a flat with young dc was. The constant don't jump shhhhh be quiet don't shout make a load of noise.
I didn't even notice until I don't have to do it anymore and now it's so calm for me and I feel like my dc get to be dc and make noise.

rigkiuowbskjs · 20/10/2021 15:17

We've just moved from a two bed flat to a four bed house..................and I hate it. It's too big........and too expensive (or at least not cheap - our flat was 'cheap', this is London so cheap is very relative). We lived in a lively and fun part of town and are now in suburbia. We've been here six months and am looking to move again.

Granted, we never had issues with our neighbours and never kept the kids quiet (lived on a busy road, had concrete floors and there was no one living below us). So didnt have that problem. But turns out, I really dont need a garden, my office just feel empty and cold, and, and, and......But thats me. My family all love it and think that I will ruin their life if we move back.

Original poster

goteam · 20/10/2021 15:56

@AlbertBridge school all good in both areas.

@blubberee we are lucky that our kids can be noisy and the neighbours dont mind!

OP posts:

Simonjt · 20/10/2021 16:23

We live in a spacious three bed flat in a really nice area, I wouldn’t want to live elsewhere. I used to live in a ground floor conversion, it had a garden, it was just yet another thing to look after. If we bought a house in this area it would be a very very small two bed terrace at most, that isn’t something we want, especially when it means sacrificing both space and location.

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