Buying a house... cold feet and panic attacks!

[oreo2020]

Not sure if this is the right thread or I should go to mental health section.

I put an offer on a house 11 months ago, sold mine STC (absolutely lovely buyer), the chain moved like a slug but finally approaching nearer exchange.

My current house is lovely but very compact. It's enough though for me and my 2 DC. The new house is heaps of space, lots of potential, also needs work. At the time of offering last year, I had a solid relationship, and the idea was that my partner was to move in with us. I can afford the extra mortgage and have a fairly stable job (civil service).

11 months later... my relationship is crumbling. The economy seems crumbling. The fuel shortages and food shortages are leaving me unsettled. I ask myself- why am I doing this? Because it's bigger, better and I can afford it? It's a much bigger land plot with a driveway and garage as opposed to a tiny post stamp garden I have now (which I love, however). If I don't do it now I am going to get older and getting bigger mortgage would be near impossible. I feel emotional about my current house, I loved the new one though but everything now seems for wrong reasons.

What am I looking here? Probably 'cold feet' stories where you went and bought and it actually turned out ok...

But she did love the house and it is bigger and better and she can afford it. And she would indeed be a massive prick to pull out now.

Just posting that to balance the previous post, because I've not read a really tangible reason to pull out. The MH side seems to be about the abstract wider world stuff which doesn't mean it's not real, but it's quite amorphous and feeds itself. Worrying about future regret isn't helpful - especially the idea of 25 years of it, which sounds very unlikely, and only amps up the sense of panic now. It feels to me more like that scary moment where you're about to jump in and you just have to go through it and then it's done, you're out the other side and feel better for having dealt with it. I'd be saying something different if there were actual red flags with the property purchase, but unless I've missed something, that isn't the case. Take care of yourself OP and I hope it all works out well.

I think your growing DC will be much happier in a bigger house

I absolutely love a house move yet I still get a touch of cold feet just before exchange , once exchanged I get excited again so I think it's fairly normal
I moved from a small house to a much bigger one a few weeks ago , best thing I could have done , so much more space , simply love it . Some work to be done but nothing that impacts on our pleasure of living here , quieter area , nicer neighbours and neighbourhood, drive to park on as opposed to on street parking (car insurance is much less - almost halved ), nicer garden , more rooms , bigger rooms , I could go on and on ...
If your new house potentially offers you and the kids a better life style go for it I'm sure you won't regret it

I'm about to spend hundreds of thousands (via deposit and mortgage) on a property for me and the DC by myself following a relationship breakdown, so I get that it can be a daunting prospect.

Personally, if I felt buying a particular house wasn't right for me, for whatever reason, even down to a gut feeling, I'd pull out. Irrespective of whether a bunch of strangers thought ill of me for doing so. For such a big change in circumstance, 5 yr mortgage vs 25 yr mortgage, it has to be right for you OP.

What may help you to decide properly is if you put together a good old fashioned list of pros and cons in relation to current and future house, and compare the two. This exercise might help clarify your thinking, on whether these feelings are last minute nerves, or due to something more fundamental.

Good luck whatever you decide, I hope it all goes well.

Op - can you answer the question to yourself - why are you moving? A simple honest answer will tell you whether this is right or wrong for you.

I am in a process writing a list of pros and cons. Why am I moving - because I can, I want, feeling like it's good value and added benefit of own driveway, a bigger garden, extra space etc. I really don't need it....

Weigh it against other wants - like wanting to stay where you are, wanting your neighbourhood, wanting to be mortgage free sooner etc.

Whichever wants win - you go with that. There is no right or wrong other than what you 'feel'. Pros and cons exist on both sides.