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Original poster

To pull out or not

35 replies

sequinandsatin · 20/09/2021 22:09

Help calm me down and make me think rationally please!

Due to exchange on house move on Friday. Today I went to see house for final time before exchange just to make sure everything is okay.

I hate it.

That pretty much sums it up. I only bought it because it was a house I managed to actually get an offer accepted on. Survey was meh but that's always the case with old houses. It would be downsizing as I'm moving to a more expensive area but it's just so much smaller.

I know everyone gets last minute nerves and all that but I really just feel like I am making a huge huge huge mistake.

No idea what to do now. Did anyone else have the same thoughts at this stage and go ahead and was it okay? Or did you end up regretting it?

OP posts:
WheelieBinPrincess · 20/09/2021 22:10

Oh blimey it’s a bit late isn’t it!!

Russell19 · 20/09/2021 22:11

You should pull out, you clearly aren't happy.

maryberryslayers · 20/09/2021 22:13

Pull out. We just did, I feel so relieved!

superram · 20/09/2021 22:13

It depends, is there anything better? Do you want/need to move?

Original poster
sequinandsatin · 20/09/2021 22:13

@WheelieBinPrincess

Oh blimey it’s a bit late isn’t it!!
Yes! I feel so bad even thinking it at this stage... but here I am Sad
OP posts:
MeanMrMustardSeed · 20/09/2021 22:14

Pull out. Or you’ll make a v expensive mistake. I don’t think everyone does get last minute nerves. I’ve always felt v excited.

MeanMrMustardSeed · 20/09/2021 22:15

@WheelieBinPrincess

Oh blimey it’s a bit late isn’t it!!
It’s not ideal. But it’s not too late either. Unless you’ve already exchanged?
Original poster
sequinandsatin · 20/09/2021 22:15

@superram

It depends, is there anything better? Do you want/need to move?
Want to move. Don't need to. But there is so little on the market currently that I wouldn't find anything else at this stage.

I've had an offer to move in with family and put my stuff in storage if needbe as an option. But they are miles away and I'm not sure it's a realistic solution even if temporarily.

OP posts:
AntiHop · 20/09/2021 22:17

Why do you want to move? What's the implication if you don't?

Hollyhead · 20/09/2021 22:21

I would strongly consider pulling out, with the soaring cost of other goods I think the housing market is due a correction.

Original poster
sequinandsatin · 20/09/2021 22:22

@AntiHop

Why do you want to move? What's the implication if you don't?
Originally I was planning to move prepandemic to help my career by moving to a bigger city. However my whole industry is now going hybrid and many jobs are being offered as at least 80% remote. So that's not as big an issue anymore.
OP posts:
jackstini · 20/09/2021 22:45

Pull out
Your original reason doesn't apply any more
You hate it
The market is crazy and they will sell again, albeit with a delay

You should not make your life worse just because you feel a bit awkward. It's not a nice thing to have to do but imagine the alternative - do you feel sick at the thought of that being your home..?

AntiHop · 20/09/2021 22:47

Can you afford to keep living in your current house? Do you like living there?

Twiglets1 · 21/09/2021 08:14

I think you know what you have to do and I’m going to agree with others - it’s harsh on the buyers but you need to pull out

EdgeOfTheSky · 21/09/2021 09:15

If you really can’t envisage yourself living in the house and now no longer want or need to move house, then pull out and tell your buyers / sellers that your work has suddenly turned upside down and inside out and your plans have changed.

And then reflect on your decision making process before you think of moving again. For your own benefit as well as others’.

languagelover96 · 21/09/2021 09:25

Before you pull out, find another property. Reflect on the life lessons learned and next time make a informed decision not a rushed one. Right now due to the worldwide pandemic, the property market is crazy and buying is not really recommended. Calmly inform them why your plans have changed and tell them that you are sorry too.

senua · 21/09/2021 09:28

Help calm me down and make me think rationally please!
The old advice applies: make a list of pro and con. See which column is longest.

Were you intending to exchange and complete this month? - how much are you saving on SDLT?
Is smaller a bad thing if heating bills are about to rocket? Or does it have a really bad EPC.

dd207 · 21/09/2021 09:53

It's very unfair to the vendors, who may be in a chain of their own and counting on this sale going through.

I think people should be fined if they pull out at the last minute! It would make everyone in the process more serious and stop game playing.

IamwhoIsayIam · 21/09/2021 10:00

Do you often feel this way or is it unusual for you?

I always always have a moment of deciding I don't want to do something before a big change. Anything from buying a car, to moving house, to taking a big trip. But once I take the step I'm absolutely fine.

For me I have learnt to take those feelings with a pinch of salt because they happen so often. You are probably not the same but I think the need for you to pull out is stronger if this is an unusual reaction for you.

Biscuits1 · 21/09/2021 10:19

Whenever I have moved I have been excited. Most people are. If you feel you hate the house then you really cannot go through with a sale. It's not a piece of furniture you can send back, its a house and a really big commitment.

TheWatersofMarch · 21/09/2021 10:30

I really feel for you, buying a house/moving is intolerably stressful.
No house will tick all boxes. You must have thought at some point you could live with the things you now feel you can't tolerate. Are you someone who tends to feel apprehensive about impending change? Do you tend to ruminate on decisions? Did you have these doubts when you bought your current home? Are these last minute nerves or thoughts snd feelings that have been nagging a while?
How much money will you lose if you pull out? What are the implications for your buyers?
Whatever you decide it will not be the catastrophe it seems now.

Pinkdelight3 · 21/09/2021 10:48

I didn't care for this house when we got it, but we've extended, made it ours and I love it now. Do you think you can do something with your new one or is it fundamentally doomed? I'd have thought it wouldn't be the latter as you've come this far and could've backed out at any stage, which suggests it is just an intense form of last minute panic. Personally I wouldn't pull out if I'd like it enough to get that far and nothing deal-breaking had suddenly emerged. But it's your life/money and only you know how bad (or not really) the house is. Even if it's smaller, does the area make up for it? Is there somewhere else you know that you'd rather live instead or is it a vaguer 'just not there' vibe?

Original poster
sequinandsatin · 21/09/2021 11:14

Thank you for all the replies. I was expected to (perhaps rightfully) be ripped apart so thank you for the kindness.

I'm trying to be objective and rational. Yes I am naturally a person who gets really anxious about big changes but this just feels like something a little bit more than that.

I have no idea what would happen if I pull out of the purchase. My buyers will probably pull out too and I couldn't blame them.

Thank you for all your comments and things to think through. I'm seeing a friend later who is going to help me do the pros and cons list again before I make any rash decisions.

OP posts:
Original poster
sequinandsatin · 21/09/2021 11:26

@Pinkdelight3

I didn't care for this house when we got it, but we've extended, made it ours and I love it now. Do you think you can do something with your new one or is it fundamentally doomed? I'd have thought it wouldn't be the latter as you've come this far and could've backed out at any stage, which suggests it is just an intense form of last minute panic. Personally I wouldn't pull out if I'd like it enough to get that far and nothing deal-breaking had suddenly emerged. But it's your life/money and only you know how bad (or not really) the house is. Even if it's smaller, does the area make up for it? Is there somewhere else you know that you'd rather live instead or is it a vaguer 'just not there' vibe?
The location is nice and that was the biggest reason why I thought I could offset the house being less nice. Which is all very well but I have to actually live in the house as well as the area.
OP posts:
Pinkdelight3 · 21/09/2021 12:46

That was the case here. We moved from a bigger house in a less nice area to a smaller, very meh house in a nicer area. But I love the area and the house is better now so it's all worked out. Hope it does for you if you stick with it, or that you can at least make a swift decision either way.