Move to small house or stay in large flat?

[Persipan]

Correctly having a bit of a quandary and need to give my head a wobble. Apologies for the essay!

I'm a single parent of an almost-toddler. Currently live in a maisonette on the upper floors of a large converted house. Decent-size lounge/diner, kitchen, two substantial double bedrooms. Bathroom in the downstairs bit, but fairly accessible from the bedrooms. There's a garden/yard shared with the downstairs flat, although it's mainly concrete and I very rarely use it. Downstairs hallway which is good for buggy storage, cupboard under the stairs, wide landings that are large enough to accommodate furniture. The flat could use some TLC (no central heating, various jobs needing doing inside and out) but is perfectly liveable for us, and it was really quite cheap when I bought it so the mortgage is not particularly high. Good location in a nice part of town close to local parks, shops etc; lots of friends nearby. However, during lockdown my dad spent lots of time visiting, he'd definitely like to continue doing so, and at some point I'll manage to oust the baby from my bed into the second bedroom, at which point there will be nowhere really suitable to put him. My plan was therefore to look to find somewhere with a third bedroom so he could have a dedicated guest space and come and go as he likes.

Put the flat in the market several months back and found a buyer quite quickly. My initial idea was to move out of the small city I live in to one of the outlying cheaper towns; however the process of viewing made it clear that the logistics of this wouldn't fly around work/nursery. I did, however, find a larger house I could afford (with some assistance from my dad, a 25% bump to the mortgage, and plundering a chunk of my savings) on the very edge of the city and had an offer accepted. Things have (slowly) progressed, but simultaneously my buyer is trying to negotiate downwards on my flat price, and the house vendors have now lost the place they were intending to move to, so it's all stalled again and I'm questioning whether it's the right place for us anyway. It's a good-sized house (the bedrooms are tiny, but overall the space makes up for it) and has a nice vibe, but it's so far away from everything (I don't have a car) - there are no parks nearby and only one rather nasty convenience store. The garden is nice but impractical for a small child and I'm worried I wouldn't stay on top of it. It's not in an area I particularly like. However, it would definitely give us the kind of space I'd ideally want to have. It has parking, which would be great for my dad (he finds on-street parking stressful). And it has awesome views!

Given that both the chain and my own enthusiasm are looking a bit shaky, I thought it was reasonable to have a look and see whether I had any other options that would let me stay in the area I'm in now. Realistically, what this would come down to would be a small terraced house - something that technically has three bedrooms but is probably no larger overall (indeed, potentially a smidgeon smaller) then where I am now. When I've viewed these, they've felt really cramped and poky by comparison - I'm genuinely not sure where things like my desk or my books could possibly go (my friends keep trying to hand-wave this stuff away but... I don't see how that works). In the current best prospect, the stairs were small and steep and I didn't feel very comfortable walking down then with the baby. We'd must likely be talking downstairs bathroom, work needing doing, possibly no heating, definitely no private parking, etc etc. What I'd essentially be gaining is a private (small) garden and a tiny third bedroom, but at the cost of a mortgage increase and a big drop in savings. And I'm just not sure if it's worth it?

So basically my options are:

Option A - carry on with the planned purchase of the larger house. You're just stressed by the process but there are reasons you liked it and it can work for you.

Option B - go for a small house nearby. Yes, it'll eat a lot of money for no increase in space, but it's a worthwhile step anyway.

Option C - stay put and explore how to make the space in the flat work going forwards. It's much cheaper than the other options, you like living there, and you can always spend some if what you save on moving on it to make it work better for you.

Any thoughts welcome!

C. I would stay where you are and invest in your current place. How often will your dad realistically come and stay? Can you re-jig the internal layout to make three smaller bedrooms (or one larger and two smaller, with clever moveable walls even? I've seen ones on rails that are amazing)
When we moved we upgraded in terms of square footage, but we aren't somewhere I love. I do think it's really important to like where you live and it sounds like you're quite settled where you are

I would stay put as you are so unsure about the move. Get a sofa bed for your Dad. And rethink in a year's time. That's what I would do.

I'd stay where I was if I were you - it might be worth working out how expensive it would actually be for your dad to stay in a cheap hotel/B&B nearby. It could well be a good bit less than the cost of moving.

Stay. If the space is practical other than having a guest room, and the area is good, then don't give these things up. It's great having guests, but they are not with you the majority of the time. You shouldn't structure your home around people that don't live there.

There are plenty of ways to accommodate guests - good quality sofa bed, a wall bed, curtained area in the lounge diner, reconfiguring the space to make a third bedroom, even going into the loft if your lease allows/there are no maisonettes above you. All these options are cheaper than moving, and don't involve compromising on space or location.

C . Your flat sounds lovely

I genuinely think your current place sounds perfect. Could invest in a sofa bed for your dad? If you don't have a car I don't think I would worry about parking for your dad since it's for occasional use.

I would improve the home you have. Get central heating in. You could get some nice pots and a table and chairs for the communal garden to enjoy it more (doesn't have to be expensive).

Do you own the loft above your flat?

The bedrooms are in the eaves, so there isn't really any option to go upwards - there's a little bit of storage space in the apex of the roof but not anything that could be converted. It does also make the idea of subdividing the bedrooms awkward - the restricted headroom isn't an issue as they are now, but probably would be if they were chopped about. It had occurred to me, though, that if I were to invert the layout of the flat (so the living spaces were in the eaves rooms, and the bedrooms were on the lower floor) that this could open up some possibilities (the kitchen could be a kitchen-diner, that way up, meaning the living room would have more scope to fit a sofa bed; and the full-height lower rooms could be divided more readily). Or there are possibly other ways of approaching the problem; an architect would probably have ideas.

I'm dodging getting a sofabed because I don't want to give up my Ercol studio couch that I restored, rewebbed and re-covered myself!

C all the way.

You need that location to find single parenthood easier, you may regret increasing the mortgage by 25% when it comes to paying nursery and holidays.

I’m sure that there are more creative ways to make the house more guest friendly that won’t be exactly cheap but will be definitely far less inexpensive than moving, moving away from conveniences and increasing your mortgage payments for years to come.

Yes, I think you need to think about how you could change the space as a whole, rather than just chopping up the bedrooms. It definitely sounds like there could be options. I’m a big fan of multifunctional spaces!

Why can't your DS either share with you or your Dad for years to come, he's so young still?

I would stay put for the time being as you're having second thoughts.

Every time you move you incur legal fees, stamp duty etc even in a nicely finished space you're likely to want to do some decoration. Given you can't really find what you want where you want it now, invest a bit of time and love into the home you have now including the outdoor space to make it more usable. In time it will only increase its value and other circumstances might change or other properties might become available in a year or two. You've got enough space and the right location. Get an airbed for your dad

C

But honestly, reading your post all I kept thinking was "OP really DOES NOT want to move"

Stay put - you will be happier :)

but it's so far away from everything (I don't have a car)

Honestly, I stopped reading right there. Don't move yet. You have a really good thing going as you are.

Stay. Location is super valuable.
You can re jig flat. Get pull down bed. Etc

This isn't a forever decision, I would just pause everything for a while, so C, but maybe not forever.
If you can save a bit more and promotion, lower child care fees, or any other improvement to your finances is possible over the next few years, then in a few years time you might have better choices available. It costs money to move, so getting something not quite right now, will eat into your potential to get something better in the future, particularly if you will spend years paying a higher mortgage.

C C C. It sounds like you don't really want to move, and why nice to occasionally host your dad.

C! No brainier!

www.furniturevillage.co.uk/versatile-small-2-seater-fabric-sofa-bed-no-arms/ZFRSP000000000043915.html

I sleep on this every night Single chair size is also available so doesn't have to replace your sofa.

C.

Your current home sounds pretty well suited to your needs.

Op, to make my kitchen dinning area more “social” I got a nice little sofa, a table that raises up from coffee table height to dining height, a folding table from IKEA you attach to the wall and a couple of folding chairs. So when it is only DS and I (most of the time) we eat in the small folding table, when we have guests, we raise the coffee table and can sit up to 6 people for dinner.

This has made my living room practically redundant. Any chance you can do something like that and make the living room an independent spare bedroom/living room for visitors with the help of a decent well built sofabed?

Nice fit for the purpose furniture is expensive but much cheaper than moving from a location that works for you.

C - seems crazy to buy a larger house for the main reason of accommodating your DF when he visits, realistically how often does he visit and for how long? Surely your DS can stay in your room when he stays or long term it would be cheaper for him to stay in an AirBnB or local hotel surely?

@Viviennemary

I would stay put as you are so unsure about the move. Get a sofa bed for your Dad. And rethink in a year's time. That's what I would do.

Me too.

Option C, living somewhere poky (especially with children) is a daily pain in the bum as every task you do involved bumping up against the limitations of storage or space. Things piled on top of things, so you can never do one thing without doing at least two really. Also being remote from everything you regularly use when you don't have a car is hugely life style limiting and public transport is expensive. The biggy though it's the extra cost of it all for gaining hardly anything! The piece of mind and financial freedom that comes from having a really manageable mortgage is immensely life enhancing, paying through the nose for something that loses you as much as it gains is not.
Your flat sounds ace so I'd just look at work arounds for guest visits like truckle bed etc.
We don't have a guest room either, I'd like one but when guests come to stay, our kids bunk up on the floor together and the guest gets their bed, they love it, indie camping means someone fun is with us and our old parents don't have to have an uncomfortable stay.