Anyone regret moving out of London

[Mollyeyes]

Hello

Feeling very sad as we sold our flat in nice part of London and now in rental outside in Hertfordshire for meantime.
Feeling a lot of regret and depressed and now lost my job so we cannot buy another flat in that area of London based on my partners salary only.

Anyone else went through something similar and regret leaving London and what did you do?

Thank you

Not regret, but I can't wait to move back.
I moved out of London about 9 years ago. I had no burning desire to move more rurally but my partner had passed away suddenly and I had two little kids and so I moved to our little (too little it turned out, so moved after a year closer to the school) holiday home for a fresh start. The school was great in that I met quite a few good friends there (way more than at their school in London) and I believe my kids had a good experience in a quieter, less frantic neighbourhood- they could walk to school rather than me battling up the A3; it all felt safer and calmer.
But now my oldest is about to finish school and my daughter enter sixth form and I just don't see my future here. What will I do? I used to flip houses but that's not economically viable anymore. There's lots of courses I'd like to take to increase my skill base (I'm a graphic designer) and I want to set up my own business, but I just don't see the intellectual stimulation i need here.
I get a lot of energy from cities, whereas I know some find them exhausting. I crave alone time - easy enough to have anywhere, but balanced with the hustle and bustle. At my age I'm not shy about putting myself out there, getting involved and making friends. So when my dd said she wanted to change schools for sixth form to all girls, I ran with it. London here we come (I have had to sell two investment properties plus my own hone to afford a house half the size though)!

Thanks @Livingintheclouds. So sorry to hear about your partner, wish you all the best

I moved out of London 20 years ago for the reasons most people do and had lots of regrets-the main one is that I felt at home culturally and spiritually there and we moved north where people tend to have close knit long term friendships and family ties so found it not as easy to make friends. Within a few years, London was closed to us financially as we couldn’t afford to move back. That said, I am very happy here now, we have loyal friends, beautiful countryside on our doorstep, really easy to get to anywhere and the north is quite happening now. We’ve discovered mountains and have easy access to them which we wouldn’t in London. There are always pros and cons wherever you live-I used to hate commuting on the tube and endless traffic. We went on a walk today which had views of the sea and landscape and felt I was the luckiest person for having easy access to that.
In a way, not being able to afford to move back forces you to commit to somewhere else and you may find there are things you love about your new home that you wouldn’t have if you stayed in London.

No. Originally bought a doer upper in a more rural area than l would have liked. Then moved somewhere more lively and diverse which suits me. Now very settled and like the nicer lifestyle l have. Go to London for fun and work sometimes. The difference is lm not from London l suppose, l did live there for 12 years though.

I do. Twenty years ago I moved, still regret it.

I don't regret it for a second. London is so polluted and crowded.

I don’t regret moving out of London but I do miss it. We moved to a small village rather than a town because we wanted to embrace the change and not try to recreate the time we had in London. I don’t love where we live like I loved living in London but I have made so many amazing friends and feel very connected to the community. I think I miss what I had in London but that was very much life in my 20s pre-kids.

I don't regret moving away from London. I found it really hard the two years I was down there. I like city living and moved to a big city up north and definitely felt more settled straight away. I found ppl in London to not be very friendly and always in a rush!

I love London and thrive on the buzz. I'm also lucky to live in a really nice peaceful, safe and picturesque corner of it.

When I look at my friends, the more interesting ones have stayed - the ones I find a bit more boring have moved out, mostly to the Home Counties/within an hour or two's drive.

So I'm very glad we chose to stay. And the longer I'm here, the less I feel inclined to move eg to a county full of white middle classes who drive Volvos, send their children to private school but think they're revolutionary for voting Labour. Yawn.

I lived in London 17yrs and as much as I loved most aspects, I yearned to have a bigger garden, less pollution and noise and a different pace. Last year we bought a derelict house we are doing up. We only fully moved in Dec, so its early days. I love feeding the birds, growing veg and seeing the garden change on a daily basis.

I no longer have a black, sooty powder on my window sills every morning! And the peace and quiet is amazing. Job opportunities for me are less though and in fact, my working from home role finished last week too OP! Actively looking for something else though.

OP- I assume you've been looking for work in your area? Could you join some local clubs/hobby/sport groups to make friends? Why not write down a list of the things you miss from London, but equally things you enjoy about your new area? Also the negatives on both areas. It might help put things in perspective.

I spent my 20s living in London, and loved every second. I wish I’d stayed. I now live in my hometown snd really regret that choice! Every day the people here remind me why I moved. I don’t feel like I belong. At all.

The best people live in London. The sparky ones.

I lived in London for nearly 20 years. No regrets moving away but I moved to another city with lots going on. Life is sooo much easier here - especially with kids. People moan about the traffic here but it's nothing like as bad as London. I can see that going from London to rural is a big leap though.

I am sorry that you lost your job - that must be a real blow. Did that happen before the flat sale / move - was it the reason for the move? Were there other reasons for the move and what is the plan? To stay in Herts?

What does your OH want to do? If you are just renting now and can get a job again why not rent back in London? Or buy again? I doubt flat prices have increased?

Don't regret it, but miss it. It was exciting living there. I felt like I'd made something of myself working there. But moved out of our lovely zone 2 flat to be near family and raise our family in more space in a rural area. It's great for them and I've made some great friends. My work hasn't suffered either. But I don't look out my windows here and feel inspired and alive like I did in London. My husband and I plan to retire there when the kids have left home

I was speaking to a neighbour the other day whose Mum grew up in Brockley but then made the decision to move to Kent to raise her him and his sister. Anyway, cut a long story short, she's now desperate to leave Kent and return to London but is priced out.

I think if you're making the decision to leave, you have to do so knowing you'll have no desire to return, because it's unlikely you'll be able to, unless you're happy to massively downgrade.

We moved for work, and also because the kind of life we had in London — living in a tiny central London flat, out all the time — wasn’t compatible with a child. I was fine with taking a few years out from theatre, art etc — I grew up in the country myself, though not in the UK — but the Midlands village we moved to was an awful, insular, dull place, and while it was a safe and peaceful place to bring up a small child, it was not an environment for someone with my priorities. We couldn’t afford to move back to London, so we left the UK entirely.

We lived there for ten years, and it was somewhere I really loved.

We couldn’t afford to move back to London, so we left the UK entirely.

Where did you go out of interest? @MindtheBelleek

Yes and no. There are pros and cons to everything. I think I mourn my youth and London living but I’m not young anymore and a lot of what I miss is rose tinted glasses and a different time and place.

You are in a difficult place at the moment made worse with renting when you’ve been used to owning and being made redundant. The move to the shires is big from being in a part of London that you loved. What were the reasons behind your move in the first place? How long has it been. These aren’t normal times either to establish a new base.

Give it time. But be brutally honest. How much homework did you do prior to the move? Perhaps you just want to feel more settled and circumstances at the moment aren’t delivering that. But if you absolutely hate where you are then work out a plan even if it all can’t be achieved just at the moment.

@smallgoon

We couldn’t afford to move back to London, so we left the UK entirely.

Where did you go out of interest? @MindtheBelleek

Ireland.

Thank you everyone for your advise.

@Irishterrier if you don’t mind can you PM me on your area of London, thank you

I left London over twenty years ago and have no regrets.
I live in Greater London the Kent/London border means that I am not too far from London
I really wouldn’t want to move too far from London

What did you do in the end? Did you return to London? I'm getting increasingly depressed stuck in Wiltshire. I'm in a cathedral city so not even a small village and I feel too young for this. All my neighbours are retirees, some quite elderly, we had two families in our small new build close when we moved in but now they've gone too, I was devestated when the last family left as my children played with them. They also added balance to the management of our private unadopted close but now our communcal gardens are looking more like a garden of remembrance, there's a very busy body wealthy retiree from the city atmosphere to the area and they really don't like to listen to young people. I feel so alone at my age here. It's showing physically, I don't dress up anymore like I used to, I've put on weight and the only time I put on make up and a nice outfit is when I'm going to London for the weekend. My mum (in her mid 70s) visited from London once and said she felt too young to move somewhere like this, she was shocked by the number of mobility scooters that she's never visited again (she would if I needed her help). She prefers to use her freedom pass to visit nice areas of London like High Street Ken or King's Road. This city is not what it once was, I bought a house here a while back well before covid when there were still some nice shops and an upbeat artsy atmosphere now all people want is a Primark. I feel like I'm living in an episode of This Country, it really isn't far from the truth and I don't know whether to laugh or cry watching it as it feels like my life these days.

vicarc
I understand what you say and I’m older in my mid 50s but golly I’ve never seen the number of mobility scooters and such an aged population.

Similar position as in a busy market town in Hampshire but struggling a bit and older than you!

I might be able to make it work as I do appreciate lots of the benefits and frankly if I’m being realistic I don’t want to go back to zone 3 London, but Surrey and a half way situation may happen in the future as I’m finding it hard to settle.

From your perspective has covid and the last two years hampered your attempts at making friends? But if it really isn’t for you life is too short to live somewhere that’s not right.

One thing I know for sure (but did know anyway) is that London was the place for me in my 20s 30s 40 and early 50s. Middle 50s I thought was the right time for the move, but actually perhaps I should have done mid way. It’s bloody huge moving out of London!

@bluejelly

I don't regret it for a second. London is so polluted and crowded.

Me neither. Our village has a good mixture of families, older people and retired people. We have an excellent primary school, a great pub, a baker/small shop and a station with hourly trains.

While a number of locals are born and bred here there are a lot of incomers, and everyone has integrated very well. Not all rural villages are insular.

I like visiting London, but don't missed the horrible commute. I go to the theatre and visit museums in cities near where I live. The only thing that would be nicer would be proximity to a wider variety of ethnic restaurants.