Page 3 | Anyone regret moving out of London

Mollyeyes · 2021-05-16T15:57:36+00:00

Hello Feeling very sad as we sold our flat in nice part of London and now in rental outside in Hertfordshire for meantime. Feeling a lot of regret and depressed and now lost my job so we cannot buy another flat in that area of London based on my partners salary only. Anyone else went through something similar and regret leaving London and what did you do? Thank you

MarshaBradyo · 17/11/2022 19:49

Puppylucky · 17/11/2022 19:47

I know this is an old thread but I just wanted to challenge the trope that "London is great for old people". Both my grand mother's grew old and died in London and were increasingly isolated and marginalised. London is an amazing place if you have energy, money and a purpose to your day. It's not so good if you have limited funds and no reason to be anywhere. There is a reason why people die alone and undiscovered so often there.

My elderly PIL are here and very involved still with their friends having lived in the same area of London for a long time. I think it helps.

Subbaxeo · 18/11/2022 21:25

Subbaxeo · 16/05/2021 21:54

I moved out of London 20 years ago for the reasons most people do and had lots of regrets-the main one is that I felt at home culturally and spiritually there and we moved north where people tend to have close knit long term friendships and family ties so found it not as easy to make friends. Within a few years, London was closed to us financially as we couldn’t afford to move back. That said, I am very happy here now, we have loyal friends, beautiful countryside on our doorstep, really easy to get to anywhere and the north is quite happening now. We’ve discovered mountains and have easy access to them which we wouldn’t in London. There are always pros and cons wherever you live-I used to hate commuting on the tube and endless traffic. We went on a walk today which had views of the sea and landscape and felt I was the luckiest person for having easy access to that.
In a way, not being able to afford to move back forces you to commit to somewhere else and you may find there are things you love about your new home that you wouldn’t have if you stayed in London.

This is exactly my life. I felt at home in London-that I got the people and they got me. When I moved up north due to exdh job, it was scenic but was difficult to make the same easy friendships where you had lots to talk about and it just felt easy. Although my area was affluent, I found the north much more tuned to status and a certain lifestyle. I miss it still 20 years on. That said, I love where we live now. Near the mountains-I would never have discovered my love for them if I’d stayed in London-new career and lovely dh. We are totally priced out now. I feel a pang that my kids won’t get the same opportunities-or inheritance-that my London friends kids get-but they’re happy and settled. And Manchester has the energy I remember from London in the eighties when life was affordable.

triplechocbrownie · 07/05/2023 22:05

Pinklady245612 · 15/04/2022 11:37

You couldn't pay me to move back. Crowded, polluted, unfriendly. I love that where I live people say good morning to each other and have a friendly chat in a shop. I love how we have open space on our doorstep. I love that we have a much bigger house for the money with a huge garden. And I love that my teens feel happy and safe and I'm not worrying about them getting stabbed.
We did pick our area carefully though - we live in a town, not a village, so we can walk to a host of shops and restaurants. Our local station also has fast trains (55 mins) into London so I don't feel that I have cut our children off from the opportunities of careers there. Embrace the change OP, it can be fantastic away from London

Can I ask where you moved to?

PermanentTemporary · 08/05/2023 12:51

Moved out 20 years ago. Took me 2 years to get over it and during that time I was living in the dullest bit of suburbia on the planet. As soon as I moved to a small city with some serious life to it, things improved dramatically.

Have you looked at proper city living elsewhere - Liverpool or Birmingham maybe?

sdra · 08/05/2023 20:54

I moved out 10 years ago and it took me 8 years to adapt. Became depressed, obsessed about trying to move back, but so hard and felt like wrong move for us at this point in lives. It was change in lifestyle (covid and wfh) and making friends that really helped. It does take time. I now do feel very settled and it feels like home (45 mins out of London). That said I expect I'll move back once kids have left!

LadyLapsang · 08/05/2023 22:35

I was born in zone 1, grew up in zones 2 & 3, left for a few years for study /work, then bought in zone 3 and now live in zone 5 and have a share of a house in zone 3. I always assumed I would move to the Home Counties or further out, but increasingly I don’t think we will sell. DC has bought in zone 3 so we will be on hand for babysitting if needed. We still work full time although could retire, great cultural offerings, out 2-3 times pw, good restaurants, free off peak travel, easy to travel for weekends or longer here or abroad. Never bored. May buy a bolt hole elsewhere.

Jux · 08/05/2023 23:19

Dsperately miss it. Been here in Devon for nearly 20 years now.

Sublime66 · 08/05/2023 23:29

vicarc · 14/04/2022 23:18

What did you do in the end? Did you return to London? I'm getting increasingly depressed stuck in Wiltshire. I'm in a cathedral city so not even a small village and I feel too young for this. All my neighbours are retirees, some quite elderly, we had two families in our small new build close when we moved in but now they've gone too, I was devestated when the last family left as my children played with them. They also added balance to the management of our private unadopted close but now our communcal gardens are looking more like a garden of remembrance, there's a very busy body wealthy retiree from the city atmosphere to the area and they really don't like to listen to young people. I feel so alone at my age here. It's showing physically, I don't dress up anymore like I used to, I've put on weight and the only time I put on make up and a nice outfit is when I'm going to London for the weekend. My mum (in her mid 70s) visited from London once and said she felt too young to move somewhere like this, she was shocked by the number of mobility scooters that she's never visited again (she would if I needed her help). She prefers to use her freedom pass to visit nice areas of London like High Street Ken or King's Road. This city is not what it once was, I bought a house here a while back well before covid when there were still some nice shops and an upbeat artsy atmosphere now all people want is a Primark. I feel like I'm living in an episode of This Country, it really isn't far from the truth and I don't know whether to laugh or cry watching it as it feels like my life these days.

pm'd you, we're also in salisbury

FurAndFeathers · 08/05/2023 23:47

MindtheBelleek · 16/05/2021 23:30

We moved for work, and also because the kind of life we had in London — living in a tiny central London flat, out all the time — wasn’t compatible with a child. I was fine with taking a few years out from theatre, art etc — I grew up in the country myself, though not in the UK — but the Midlands village we moved to was an awful, insular, dull place, and while it was a safe and peaceful place to bring up a small child, it was not an environment for someone with my priorities. We couldn’t afford to move back to London, so we left the UK entirely.

We lived there for ten years, and it was somewhere I really loved.

the Midlands village we moved to was an awful, insular, dull place,

I’m genuinely interested in what your expectations were for a small rural village?

were you expecting a thriving cosmopolitan social scene?

many (though of course not all) villages in the midlands are predominantly white and economically deprived - it’s not usually a recipe for excitement and diversity

chipsarnie · 09/05/2023 07:01

We lived in London for 30 years. Moved out 18 months ago. 300 miles away to a quiet town in a beautiful valley in Cumbria.

Regret? Nope. We do miss 'London life' a bit, but nowhere near enough to ever consider a move back. Pros vastly outweigh the very few cons.

beguilingeyes · 09/05/2023 08:23

My dream in retirement is a small flat in Zone 1 so I could walk everywhere.
At the moment though, we're in Zone 3 with a beautiful garden, so giving that up would be a wrench and I can be in Oxford Circus in 25 minutes so I'm happy where I am.
I grew up in rural Somerset... about ten miles from Bath and couldn't wait to get out. Been in London since 1982.

Greenfairydust · 09/05/2023 08:31

No regrets at all and I wish I had done it years ago. I now live by the sea in a really pretty small town in Kent.

My health improved (a big factor for me as I have a long term health condition), my stress level are down, I sleep better and I don't have to deal with the overcrowding, anti-social behaviour and noise of the capital.

I am only 1.30 hour away from London so it is very easy to visit. I still work for a London company & occasionally commute but my next step is to find a local job.

I lived in London for 30 years but frankly I now find it too expensive and the quality of life it provides is very low unless you are making a huge amount of money and can afford to live in leafy, safer streets.

I think London lost a lot of its identity in the past 20 years and has just become a playground for the rich and a tourist attraction. The housing situation is dire there and that has squeezed a lot of the creativity and innovation out of the city as people can no longer afford to live there.

Greenfairydust · 09/05/2023 08:34

I should have added that I lived in a small village by the sea and near countryside as a kid/teenager so I am basically going back to a similar environment.

It is probably harder to make the change when you have only lived in a big city.

Puppylucky · 09/05/2023 08:49

I moved out of London last November and am seriously conflicted. Whilst where I live is exciting and vibrant and I really don't need or miss London on that front, I have found the people to be different and fitting in much harder. I lived in London virtually all of my adult life and my expectations of the people around me have obviously been shaped by that. Specifically I am used to a kind of detached politeness - I always found Londoners very much aware that to all live together in such a crowded city, a certain amount of give and take is required. Here in a smaller city, I find people are much more confrontational and less tolerant of each other. There is also the small town mindset to contend with, based on one upmanship and perceived superiority. All in all I quite like the place that I live now, but am beginning to heartily dislike the mindset / people!

lilacbunny · 09/05/2023 10:40

Puppylucky · 09/05/2023 08:49

I moved out of London last November and am seriously conflicted. Whilst where I live is exciting and vibrant and I really don't need or miss London on that front, I have found the people to be different and fitting in much harder. I lived in London virtually all of my adult life and my expectations of the people around me have obviously been shaped by that. Specifically I am used to a kind of detached politeness - I always found Londoners very much aware that to all live together in such a crowded city, a certain amount of give and take is required. Here in a smaller city, I find people are much more confrontational and less tolerant of each other. There is also the small town mindset to contend with, based on one upmanship and perceived superiority. All in all I quite like the place that I live now, but am beginning to heartily dislike the mindset / people!

Snap.

I moved out of London last November too.

It is definitely the mindset and the people up here that make me want to go back to London!

Puppylucky · 09/05/2023 15:53

@lilacbunny where did you move to out of interest? I'm on the south coast

Hubhubba26 · 11/12/2023 18:31

@thetins No way. We moved from brixton/stockwell around the same time as you guys. We so nearly chose Southsea but went for a village outside Southampton instead. Big mistake. No culture, people very reserved. It's like weve landed on a different planet. How are you finding the people and primary schools in Southsea?

Hubhubba26 · 11/12/2023 18:33

@Puppylucky ditto!

Paddington42 · 11/12/2023 23:22

I moved from a busy suburb of Nottingham with a cafe culture, busy park, farmers market etc to a village in Lincolnshire and I regret it. In these places there is no life on the doorstep to interact with. There aren’t many professionals in their 20s - 50’s getting themselves out there, it’s more like retired people who never leave the house and the younger working generation seem dead with no positive energy. I feel like I’ve destroyed our lives. At the same time I can’t face the stress of a big move again so soon which would mean taking the children out of school yet again and the stress of not knowing for months if the move will actually go ahead not to mention the financial blow. No idea what to do but I can’t keep living like this.

Hubhubba26 · 12/12/2023 06:24

@Puppylucky interesting. We moved from London to Southampton and I'm finding the same. Whereabouts are you on the south coast if you don't mind me asking?

Sublime66 · 12/12/2023 08:42

I don’t miss London can always visit. The grass is greener outside and there are plenty of good alternatives but there are also some bad. If you chose to live in a bad alternative or very isolated I can imagine you might regret the move.