Should we move?

[Lostmyself86]

We are in a dilemma.

We currently live in a 2 bed terrace house with 3 children. 2 boys and a girl. It has a separate dining room so me,husband and baby girl sleep downstairs in same room and boys have their own rooms. We have no garden and we can't decorate so I have never felt at home here. It's also a trek to school.

We have been offered a 3 bedroom terrace elsewhere but we have some reservations. There is one main bedroom and the others are a box room and an attic room. The attic room has an exposed boiler that the council will not be allowed to box in due to needing access. We would have to sleep in that room but I can't imagine ever feeling relaxed or able to decorate it nicely. It has a garden. Not huge but more than what we clearly have now which is none. It's closer to school and we can decorate it. The rent is about £50 a month more expensive than where we are now. It feels almost like they've tried to turn what isn't a 3 bed into one to make more rent on it.

So, do we

A) stay where we are, move the boys in together, put DD in one of the upstairs room and continue to sleep downstairs (which I loathe)but have cheaper rent and not have to fork out on all new flooring and decor but knowing that it could be god knows how long,weeks, months or years until we get offered something else

Or

B) Take the 3 bed and deal with the issues we have.

I genuinely need help. Husband wants to stay and I'm unsure but I know I'm very depressed with the whole situation, trying to look after 3 children and having medical issues.

I personally would take the bigger house because it has a garden and an extra room. Why can’t you box it in if the boxing it in is a removable or door panel? I had a rental where there was a removable door over the boiler and the British Gas guy said it was fine as it still had easy access. At first he was worried the panel didn’t open as I wasn’t sure how to open it.

How big is the attic room?

No idea but big enough to stand upright in, to fit a king size bed in x

I’d move tbh, no garden must be difficult with 3 kids. Get a really good carbon monoxide alarm

It is. I want baby to be able to explore outside when she can walk and the boys love to play outside

Honestly I'd move. You can take the attic room, put one of those dressing screens around the boiler and get an alarm if you're worried about the safety aspect.

The boys can share the "big" room downstairs and your DD can ultimately have the box room. Closer to school as well so you're saving time and energy every day on the commute. The garden will be a great feature as well, it basically extends the living space in the summer plus the fact you're not sacrificing downstairs space for a bedroom.

Never thought of a dressing screen! Good idea..now to convince husband 🤣

Another vote for moving!!

I have a boiler in my bedroom. I have 2 carbon monoxide alarms (can't be too safe!) and bought an ikea wardrobe to box round it so it's easily accessible and gives storage space.

How’s the downstairs space in the other house? I would probably agree with the other posters and move but only if you are not loosing kitchen/lounge space

Our boiler has an airing cupboard/wardrobe built around it in the spare bedroom; surely that's quite common?

The extra room and garden along with shorter school run and decorating sound easily enough to make the move worthwhile.

@tryingtocatchthewind downstairs is a living room you walk straight into, a kitchen diner next to that with built in cooker, plenty of space for dining table and a utility room off the kitchen/diner.

At present we have a folding dining table in the living room as there's such lack of space. I genuinely think we should move but it's trying to convince my husband. For me, even just to see the kids run around the garden this summer would make my day and be worth it.

Take the three bed and make sure there is a carbon monoxide detector near the boiler. Then enjoy the extra space and the informants to your mood that not sleeping in the dining room will bring

Improvements 😆

Imagine not taking it, actually saying no and closing that option... Wave of regret? Take it.
Also decorating is a positive, constructive action which makes you feel better as you are genuinely improving your home environment which lets face it is where we spend our time. Go for it.

Definitely move. Your current set up sounds pretty tricky.

I've decided I want to move. Husband won't talk about it until tonight when kids are in bed. Have a feeling he won't be talked out of saying no

Move into the bigger house! It's a no brainer! You sound so so pushed for space at the moment, it sounds like an awful set up.

What are his reasons for wanting to stay put?

Maybe work together with Hubs and both outline the pros and cons of staying and moving. That way, you can get to the root cause of what's making him dig his heels in, and you might figure out a workable solution. It's difficult to move past an obstacle if you don't know what it is.

I'm all for you moving, but my POV comes from a purely practical standpoint. He might have an emotional reason for not wanting to go that you need to work through together.

And, if all else fails, remind him that even if you move away now it doesn't mean that you can't come back to the area if another, more suitable property is available there in the future.

Best of luck with your discussion!

Why not just find another 3 bed? If it's that bad you picked it? No point moving if you're going to be unhappy and wanting to move again. Boiler in a bedroom doesn't sound good either I'd worry about the safety of that. Apart from gaining a garden you aren't actually gaining a room just not sleeping in a Dining room.

@Maves it isn't that simple. We aren't private renting. We are in council tenancy. We bid on lots of houses. None we know the actual door number of or have pictures of until offered. All we knew was that it's a 3 bed. It's pot luck basically and then you take it or leave it if offered but we might be pushed back a bit now if we reject this property as we will be seen as not deaperate enough and someone else might be. We are desperate though in my opinion, which is why I'm willing to compromise. Husband has now told me flat out no. I'm quite upset as I feel he's thinking more about how he feels about the bedroom than the kids. He also said we would have less space. Wtf?! Yesterday he was all for it and now it's a flat out no because of space (lie), the boiler and the rent apparently. I give up. I feel like we will be stuck here forever.

I think your husband needs to put his family first , what a selfish sod not letting his children have a decent home. I am afraid if it were me it would be goodby husband my children deserve better.

Omg! The slightly less than ideal bedroom is eclipsing the extra space, garden, closer to school etc etc... Is he just scared resistant of change!?
I'm afraid I would be using everything in my peers to prevent him blocking the move. Surely your feelings about sleeping in the dining room count too! If he was in that one would be want to swap for the one you've got!
You must be tearing your hair out.

Boilers in bedrooms are common in many houses. Carbon monoxide sensor. Problem over.