Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Property/DIY

Join our Property forum for renovation, DIY, and house selling advice.

Original poster

Should we move?

35 replies

Lostmyself86 · 13/04/2021 09:19

We are in a dilemma.

We currently live in a 2 bed terrace house with 3 children. 2 boys and a girl. It has a separate dining room so me,husband and baby girl sleep downstairs in same room and boys have their own rooms. We have no garden and we can't decorate so I have never felt at home here. It's also a trek to school.

We have been offered a 3 bedroom terrace elsewhere but we have some reservations. There is one main bedroom and the others are a box room and an attic room. The attic room has an exposed boiler that the council will not be allowed to box in due to needing access. We would have to sleep in that room but I can't imagine ever feeling relaxed or able to decorate it nicely. It has a garden. Not huge but more than what we clearly have now which is none. It's closer to school and we can decorate it. The rent is about £50 a month more expensive than where we are now. It feels almost like they've tried to turn what isn't a 3 bed into one to make more rent on it.

So, do we

A) stay where we are, move the boys in together, put DD in one of the upstairs room and continue to sleep downstairs (which I loathe)but have cheaper rent and not have to fork out on all new flooring and decor but knowing that it could be god knows how long,weeks, months or years until we get offered something else

Or

B) Take the 3 bed and deal with the issues we have.

I genuinely need help. Husband wants to stay and I'm unsure but I know I'm very depressed with the whole situation, trying to look after 3 children and having medical issues.

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 13/04/2021 18:25

The thing is you could wait for a long time to be offered again and in the meantime your children will get bigger. There used to be that thing that you were not overcrowded even with different genders until the youngest got to be ten years old.

Also the Council probably class your dining room as a bedroom.

I would move. It may not be forever

RealisticSketch · 13/04/2021 19:35

Please let us know if you manage to drive the change you need. Good luck op.

Nightshade26 · 13/04/2021 20:35

Good luck OP, this seems to go deeper than just a house move. Your hubs should be your partner in crime and open to conversation and compromise. That he shut you down so easily was quite alarming, especially without a conversation.

Whatever you decide OP, I hope that it's the best thing for you and your family. Something else might come up that's more suitable, but I know with council homes it really is a gamble. Do let us know how it pans out for you all.

BustPipes · 13/04/2021 21:24

You've had good advice on here OP re practical options on the boiler. It will come on when the heating comes on, and ideally you wouldn't want one in your bedroom, no matter how well boxed in - just for the noise. But there are many houses out there where the clanking of the pipes is even worse (eg mine) so it's really not the be all and end all. And the safety aspects seem very dealable with.

I'm sorry your DP is so against it. I can understand - we humans are programmed to like familiarity - 'better the devil you know' is not a cliche because it's true, it's a cliche because so many people use it as an excuse when they're worried about making the right decision.

Don't accept his 'final answer' - this is about all of you, and he doesn't (or at least shouldn't) get to make decisions on his own. Draw up a list of pros and cons, and get him to add the pros and cons that he sees to it. Make sure you have the actual square footage noted down - space is space, even if it's not the best laid out space.

Not sure about your financial situation, but the 50 quid may be a reasonable point, and if it is, then it is.

The possible new place sounds like a good option - I'd pursue it if I was you. Good luck!

teaorwine · 13/04/2021 22:06

Hi Op my first house had a boiler in the bedroom, it did make a noise when it came on, but I got used to it really quickly. I’d agree a carbon monoxide alarm and put something in front of it to disguise it. If you say yes to the house can you change your mind at all when you see it?
After all everyone’s been through with COVID having even a little bit of a garden is brilliant, especially with kids.
Park it for tonight and discuss again tomorrow when you’ve both had time to sleep on it.
Make a list of the pros and cons, include being able to decorate, a massive thing for improving how you feel about your home even if it takes ages. Good luck and hope this works out for you.

Original poster
Lostmyself86 · 13/04/2021 22:33

Thanks so much everyone. I have shown these messages to him and we've had a long chat tonight and he has agreed it would be better to move. We are nervous as it's such an upheaval with 3 children including a baby under a year old but hopefully worth it in the long run.

Can't thank you all enough for your messages, advice, suggestions and encouragement.

OP posts:
Nightshade26 · 13/04/2021 22:50

@lostmyself86 it's always nerve-wracking to start a new chapter in the story of your life. The important thing is that you're both on the same page, you're all in it together, and that this is the best thing for your family right now. Glad to read that your other half is on your side. As long as you're a team, you'll both weather this move and anything that follows. Best of luck to you all with it and all that follows!

Redsquirrel5 · 13/04/2021 23:44

I moved with three boys. Three hundred miles and we were moving to a house that need gutting. Stayed in a friend’s relatives house for 6 months until re wiring, floors dug up for damp proofing and three and a half ceding had to come down. Two walls and an inglenook knocked out. When we moved in DH was working away. I had three mattresses on the floor of the big bedroom and a table and chairs with a Rayburn to cook and heat the kitchen. An old carpet square on the floor and the plumber made me a stand tap in the corner for water. It was an adventure.
I would take it because of the garden and closer to school. My son has a house with a boiler in the bedroom. I had a joiner make a cupboard around it with Louvre doors on it. As already said a carbon monoxide alarm is a must. Remember to check it regularly too.
I hope it is a lovely house.

RealisticSketch · 14/04/2021 06:44

@Lostmyself86

Thanks so much everyone. I have shown these messages to him and we've had a long chat tonight and he has agreed it would be better to move. We are nervous as it's such an upheaval with 3 children including a baby under a year old but hopefully worth it in the long run.

Can't thank you all enough for your messages, advice, suggestions and encouragement.

Fantastic!! You'll be ok, rope in as much help as you can and when you've got there you'll feel so proud of yourself for climbing that mountain. It's not easy, but when was anything worth doing in life ever easy. 😊
teaorwine · 14/04/2021 21:50

That's great news, hope the move works for your family and that you've many years of happiness in your new home. We moved lots when I was younger and I can remember my mums relief when she finally got a house she felt she could call her own. X

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread