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Original poster

Done lots of work on house - but now want to move?!

34 replies

missbunnyrabbit · 09/04/2021 21:40

My head is in a mess!
I have lived in a little Victorian terrace for about 1.5 years now. I paid full asking price but quickly realised it actually needed a lot doing! My parents are great DIYers and have helped me do a lot in the house, including gutting the kitchen and installing a new one that I just love! I love everything we are doing to the house. I thought I would stay here for years and years and years. Also, I LOVE the location, it's perfect for everything.

BUT. I have slowly realised that I hate my yard. Moreso, that I hate the 3 floor high terraces that are at the back of my house. My house is on a steep slope, so have to go down steps to my yard. Both of these things together mean my yard feels like it's at the bottom of a pit. I feel caged in.

There are some other very similar terraces nearby. Same style. Almost as good location (not quite tho). BUT. They have loooooooooong proper gardens, so long that the houses behind are far away! I could afford a run down one of these houses now, or I could get a more done up one in a few years. I would LOVE this, I'd love the view and I'd love a proper garden to spend time in. And most of all, I'd love to feel like I have some space!!!

Another thing is that I want a loft conversion for a third bedroom. In either house, this would give me a lovely view of the city, which might make my current house feel less caged in? But is there any point in doing yet MORE work if I'm going to move? A lot of those other terraces already have a loft conversion done.

And if I move... in say 4 years... I suppose I would have gotten a lot of life out of living in this lovely house, but that's also 4 years that I've spent with a yard that deeply unsatisfies me, and 4 years that I haven't been able to look out of my window at a lovely long garden, instead of the back of someone else's house. I'd be 'making do', 'putting up with it' ... and you only get one life. :(

But I love my current house. I feel so distressed that I am suddenly desperate to move, and the one thing I hate about it is something I can't do change at all!!! I feel so guilty for all the work my parents have done. It's really messing with my head. I feel so bad about it.

I don't know what this thread is for, I just needed to get these thoughts out.:( Anyone been similar, done loads of work on a house only to realise it's really lacking something important? What do you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
missbunnyrabbit · 09/04/2021 21:43

This is also my first house, btw. I have lots of affection for it. :(

OP posts:
Cosmos123 · 09/04/2021 21:46

Move. You will continue to be miserable.
You only live once. Try to make it best u can.

dontcare85 · 09/04/2021 21:53

move.
less than two years ago we had an extension put on ours plus new kitchen. We now want to move. tbf when we had it done we planned to stay 5 years which would give us a bit of breathing space as moving is not cheap but things have changed since then and we can now afford to move.
if your not happy with your garden now no amount of work on the rest of your house will make you happy.

Changingwiththetimes · 09/04/2021 22:14

Yes many people do this as a matter of course. Friends of mine have just bought an in between house. They did up their last home, lived their for six years, then the recent property boom convinced them to sell but they couldn't find their ideal property, so bought a fixer upper with a view to do the work and sell on in a year or so.

Original poster
missbunnyrabbit · 09/04/2021 22:44

If I move, I'll have to pay stamp duty and all the other associated costs! I know it will cost me a lot. So there's that to add in too.

I guess my options are:

  1. Forget all this, live in this house and improve it (get loft extension and I'm considering raising the level of the yard to get more sunshine) with the view of staying here a long time...

  2. Don't do any major work (waste of money) and buy new house ASAP in like 1/2 years.

  3. Do major work to make house better for the next 4/5 years and THEN move.

Argh!

OP posts:
user64325 · 09/04/2021 23:43

I wouldn't move yet. Not because of a small yard... You are probably feeling like this because it's spring, summer is approaching, the whole country is talking about garden parties and garden furniture etc but the reality is most people in England only use their gardens in spring and summer. A long garden would need a lot of maintenance too. I always tell people to move if they are unhappy but this is just one want, it won't drastically improve your life in the short term and a year and a half is such a short amount of time.

CeibaTree · 10/04/2021 00:07

If you love the house and it's possible to raise the level of the garden then in your position I'd try that first rather than take the drastic step of moving. Agree with the poster above, a garden is used for so little of the year in most parts of the UK - the house itself is more important.

theyarereallytakingthepissnow · 10/04/2021 08:03

I think you won't be able to make it what you want so move and be happy. It's not such a big deal. It happens and has happened to me more than once and I'm contemplating moving again now.

We change as we grow and what was perfect for us and our circumstances a few years ago evolves, there's no shame in that. The work you've done will help to sell your house and benefit it's new owners.

You need to think of yourself, your future and where that lies now to ensure you're as happy as you can be. It's not in your current home so make plans and embrace moving.

prettypinkflamingo · 10/04/2021 08:13

Are there any areas of the house you could make into a roof terrace or large balcony?

Fortyfifty · 10/04/2021 08:20

Move. The work that's been done will only help the house to sell which is a bonus.

WeAreAllCompletelyFine · 10/04/2021 08:25

I feel for you, we're in a similar position. Beautiful Victorian semi, incredible location and we've smartened it right up in the time we've been here. People can't believe we want to move but in our hearts we know it's just not right for us. We've landscaped (and flattened) the garden but it just isn't big enough and we want to be detached. I'm pregnant again so we also would like another bedroom.

We're so torn as to what to do. For the cost of stamp duty on a new house we could put in a loft conversion and replace some of the windows (the last job on our list) but it would make our tall thin house even taller and thinner. And it won't change the garden.

So hard to know. Can you view other places to see how you feel? You might be able to picture yourself living there, or it might just confirm that you love your own house the best?

Original poster
missbunnyrabbit · 10/04/2021 09:29

Thank you so much for the replies. I tried talking to my mum about this but she got upset and said I was ungrateful because I've got a lovely house. :(

Was thinking last night, it's not actually the SIZE of my yard that bothers me. It's that I'm overlooked by a 3 storey house so close at the back which just crowds me in! When I look out of my kitchen window at the back, I can't even SEE my yard because it's several feet below. All I can see, straight ahead, is another house....very close. And if I want to see the sky?! Have to crane my neck up!!

There are a couple of those garden terraces for sale, so I might book a viewing just to have a look at the view and get a feel for the place.

It is literally only in past week (I'm on holiday) that I've suddenly got obsessed with this. Before, I had no intention of moving. Now, all I can think about is that rotten house at the back. :(

Maybe this will pass? :(

OP posts:
Original poster
missbunnyrabbit · 10/04/2021 09:31

@prettypinkflamingo

If I got a loft conversion, I could get a balcony, but tbh even just a window would suffice, so I could have a view of something that's not a wall.

OP posts:
Original poster
missbunnyrabbit · 10/04/2021 09:35

@user64325

I wouldn't move yet. Not because of a small yard... You are probably feeling like this because it's spring, summer is approaching, the whole country is talking about garden parties and garden furniture etc but the reality is most people in England only use their gardens in spring and summer. A long garden would need a lot of maintenance too. I always tell people to move if they are unhappy but this is just one want, it won't drastically improve your life in the short term and a year and a half is such a short amount of time.
@user64325 I, too, would always tell someone to move! If we hadn't worked so hard on this house and made it so nice, it would be an easy decision! You're right, it's that and also because we've had some lovely blue sunny sky days, I just want to see the sky from my windows but I can't cos of those houses. Ugh!
OP posts:
Original poster
missbunnyrabbit · 10/04/2021 09:37

I suppose my next question is... if I told myself I would move in 3/4 years, or even 1/2 years, is there any point spending more money on this house? We're still finishing off lots of jobs so we'd finish those, but... like raising the yard and getting a loft conversion - big money jobs - is it worth it? I don't know.

OP posts:
HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 10/04/2021 09:56

I think if you move you'll have to do so assuming your parents might not want to help to do a second place up for you so lok for one that is done, unless you can do the work yourself. Also as a buyer - if its not clearly a quick renovation a builders done to flip the property I'd wonder why you were selling so soon and would assume there were issues you found when you moved in, dodgy neighbours etc.

I'm in a similar position, my parents bought my flat for me (I'm paying them back) and I've been here ten years. The flat is perfect in location for work and school walking distance to beach and hospital, has a drive and large front, side and back gardens and isn't overlooked as has a large green verge/field bit out front and as I'm on the corner I'm offset from my neighbours but I want a house. All the houses I can afford are smaller, don't have drives, in a worse location or are overlooked but in my head I really want a house. I think like me you have a case of the 'wants' if your current house is perfect in every other way. How much time do you normally spend in the garden? How much time or inclination have you got for maintenance when not on holiday?

Can you add height to your garden, growing climbers up trellessing or trees in large pots so when you look down the garden you see greenery instead. There was a similar house on gardeners world recently, a tiny yard down several steps and the owners had filled it with large plants in big pots, the oversized foliage looked great and gave a jungle effect its worth having a look it'll be on I player.

Skysblue · 10/04/2021 10:04

With the right builder and site, a loft conversion could be done in 2 months, and in a 2-3 mid terrace property (not 4 bed or end terrace), would almost certainly make a good profit when you sell. Speak to an estate agent to value your house as is and ask them what it would be worth with a loft conversion. Then get builder quotes from somewhere like space invaders or similar. If is going to make a profit you might as well do it asap. (Just be v v careful when choosing builder!!) If no profit then I wouldn’t bother.

Re the yard I’d plan to move to a house with proper garden, I know just what you mean and nearly bought a beautiful Vic terrace before realising 12 houses overlooked the tiny yard. I got a similar place in a cheaper area with stunning garden and am so glad I did.

TheJunctionBaby · 10/04/2021 11:22

Could you add some sort of privacy screening from the other houses? like a pergola with climbing plants, lights etc to create a private space? Could you raise the level of the garden either by filling in or terracing it?

93porless · 10/04/2021 11:25

Definitely move. You've changed everything you can about the house, gained valuable experience and DIY skills, you can update the next house but you can't lengthen the garden. Just move, and be happy.

JackieWeaverFever · 10/04/2021 13:50

I would move but as a question: how has this only become an issue now? How did you feel about the garden when you viewed?

Saltyslug · 10/04/2021 14:12

Personally I’d sit tight and plant some screening greenery end of yard to create some privacy. Carry on improving the house only if it will add to value. Over pay the mortgage a bit and then sell in a few years and make a proper jump up the ladder to a 70s or newer detached house in best location with land. It’s likely you’re needs will be slightly different in a few years

Hallyup5 · 10/04/2021 14:20

You sound a bit like me. We bought a house two years ago and although the location and house are ok, the back garden just feels so enclosed and claustrophobic. We have neighbouring properties very close, although they're only bungalows, but I feel like they're on top of me. We've tried screening for the garden but it just doesn't make me feel any better. We need more bedroom space and have been considering a loft conversion but I don't know whether I'd regret spending all that money and still not being happy with the garden. My husband actually said that we could move again if it was making me unhappy but I don't know whether he actually thinks it's a good idea or not. Plus, I guess I'm worried about what other people may think. I don't know, but I guess you only live once so you may as well be happy.

MrsBobDylan · 10/04/2021 14:21

Can you afford to move to a run-down property if your parents aren't willing to help you do it up?

Paying for someone to guy and really-fit a kitchen is very expensive.

Could it be that you have enjoyed doing your house up and are keen for another project, only this time on a 'better' property?

I would also consider if you will make money on your current house as you said you paid full asking. If you sold for the same price you parents could feel really cheated!

MeanMrMustardSeed · 10/04/2021 14:31

A guy on gardeners world has a house / garden a bit like yours (I think). He grow ferns and had turned the space into a really special place. Might be worth having a look to see if it inspires you. Staying another couple of years might be worth it.

user64325 · 10/04/2021 15:24

@missbunnyrabbit

I suppose my next question is... if I told myself I would move in 3/4 years, or even 1/2 years, is there any point spending more money on this house? We're still finishing off lots of jobs so we'd finish those, but... like raising the yard and getting a loft conversion - big money jobs - is it worth it? I don't know.
I don't think I would. I think I'd overpay on your mortgage instead. Reassess how you feel in a year or two.