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Original poster

Elderly neighbours tv.........

41 replies

Tolkienista · 19/02/2021 07:39

It's 7.25am and if there's a rock bottom I've hit it. Moved into this semi detached house in 2019 and it is beautiful, only problem, I have a 92 year old woman next door with mild dementia who has her Tv on from morning to night and often (not always) at a high volume. For some strange reason the sound comes through the walls/ceiling louder upstairs and on many occasions it wakes me up........this morning at 6.15am. I'm in the back bedroom now, with ear plugs in and I can still hear it. Downstairs is a right through lounge.

I've spoken to her son and daughter who have no interest in seeing things from my viewpoint (when we call round her tv's never on that loud) and are happy to keep her in the house for as long as possible. Last year, her son in law said, well I can hear myself speaking, so it's not that loud and walked away. She basically sits in front of the tv all day, it never goes off. My only saviour are her carers who come in twice a day and will turn it down.

Her neighbours on the other side (not attached) know what I'm going through and even googled how to set a volume limiter on her tv and messaged her son with the details, that was back in October, nothings been done since.
I know this will come to an end, but going to bed and knowing she may get up the next morning and have her tv on so loud is relentless.

Anyway, I feel so much better for having written it all down and vented my feelings. I live on my own and as I've said, this morning was really my rock bottom, i just can't see an end to it.

OP posts:
NachoNachoMan · 19/02/2021 09:55

I can imagine how irritating that is for you! Although I do feel desperately sorry for your neighbour too, especially during lockdown, with the TV being her only company most of the time.

I wonder if the sound settings can be tweaked on the TV to raise the volume of the speech and lower the background noise/music. Or could you suggest they buy her a wireless speaker, so they can have that right next to them so won't need to be so loud. (E.g. www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B08C5HZJCR)?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Maybe you could record the sound, and show her relatives how clearly and loud you can hear it in your own house?

As you say, you know this will come to an end at some point which will probably be a lot sooner than with younger problem neighbours, but I guess that's not much comfort in the here and now.

NachoNachoMan · 19/02/2021 09:56

Linky no worky!

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B08C5HZJCR?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Pumpkintopf · 19/02/2021 09:56

If the noise is excessive you could consider asking your local council to get involved?

www.gov.uk/report-noise-pollution-to-council

chloechloe · 19/02/2021 11:04

That must be driving you crazy. As the family is clearly beyond useless, could you intercept the carers one day to explain the problem and ask if they can limit the volume as the other neighbors have suggested? Sweet talk them and hopefully it can be resolved that way.

Original poster
Tolkienista · 19/02/2021 19:37

Thanks for all your comments, I'm feeling much better as the day comes to an end. Amazingly, her carer arrived at 7.50am much much earlier than she normally arrives and immediately turned it down........ heaven. I don't want to compromise their impartiality by asking for them to permanently adjust the controls and as for other suggestions they've all passed through my mind previously. I totally blame the family who bought her the biggest TV I've ever seen and get in and out of the house as quickly as possible leaving her stuck in front of it day and night, almost like a granny sitter.

Anyway, I'm feeling more positive now and really appreciate the time taken for people to reply. Many thanks......

OP posts:
GreySkyClouds · 19/02/2021 19:51

Hopefully it won’t go on for much longer...

Imissthegym · 19/02/2021 20:03

Oh my god, I have exactly the same. My neighbour was discharged from hospital about 18 months ago after a stroke, he was previously mobile and out of the house a lot. He’s only mid sixties but now he’s frail and doesn’t go out at all. He doesn’t appear to have visitors either and I’ve no idea how he gets shopping. We have asked him if we can help but turns out he is not a very nice man.

Now he has his TV on loud all day and night. We tried to raise it with him and he actually laughed and tried to say it was payback for when the kids were babies and he could hear them crying overnight and also for my couple of years on 6am-2pm shifts where I had the audacity to start the car at 5.30am.

I rang the council who said to record it, which I did and they went round but it made no difference.

Bless you. Wish I could say something useful but you’re not alone.

murbblurb · 19/02/2021 21:00

Selfish fucker. Go back to the council .

Original poster
Tolkienista · 19/02/2021 21:03

Thank you Imissthegym for your post and you'll know when I say that I honestly know how you're feeling.

I'm an expert now in wearing ear plugs and while they do block out some noise, it still comes through. I'm a firm believer in a problem shared is a problem halved and the more you feel you're not alone, the more you feel you can get through........well it works for me. Thank goodness for these forums.

OP posts:
Icantreachthepretzels · 19/02/2021 22:52

I'm sitting here listening to every word of the news on my downstairs elderly neighbour's T.V.
It was always loud ( I never don't know when it's 00:47 am because that's when the shipping forecast music is on ... and then the national anthem dead on one) but over lockdown it has become ridiculously loud and is on 24/7.

It used to be just the theme tunes that came through the wall, but now it is so loud that I can hear every. single. word.
I've listened to the books on tape she's had on at 3 in the morning, I listen to Neighbours every single day, Home and Away usually makes an appearance, the news - everything. And it's never off. In fact - the other week it did get switched off for a couple of hours and the silence just rang through my flat, it was eerie.

And I'm not even sure it's just her. Yesterday I could hear Neighbours and the news simultaneously, so I think my next door flat could be just as bad. Maybe neither of them have it on 24/7 but between them they keep the whole day and night covered. I'm furloughed at the moment, so I don't even have an excuse to leave.

Fortunately I'm not especially noise sensitive and it doesn't stop me sleeping, so I can just about bear it - but it is painfully loud. It is shit and I sympathise with your situation Flowers

The news has finished now... a man is talking. I believe it's another book on tape.

AntiHop · 19/02/2021 22:57

Try quiteon earplugs. They block out a lot.

GoLightlyontheEarth · 19/02/2021 23:01

Could you buy her some headphones and take them round? Have you tried speaking to her directly to ask if she could turn it down a bit or move it away from the wall?

Icantreachthepretzels · 20/02/2021 00:48

oh look at the time ... I've actually grown quite fond of the shipping forecast music.

Original poster
Tolkienista · 20/02/2021 20:04

Well Ican'treachthepretzels your situation is definitely worse than mine, so you have my full sympathy and as you say during lockdown and being at home for many hours just makes it worse. What a mess, for me silence is golden.......I really do like the sound of silence and on a day to day basis, it's pretty rare.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tolkienista · 20/02/2021 20:07

Could I buy her some headphones........no. Her son and daughter think I've got the problem, not her. Yes I do go round and she happily turns it down, often by the time I've got back to my house, she's turned it back up again. Moving it away from the wall, again her son and daughter have said no.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tolkienista · 20/02/2021 20:09

Thank you Antihop will look them up.

OP posts:
TroysMammy · 20/02/2021 20:13

I used to have an elderly deaf neighbour who had the tv on loud. It wasn't until I got my hearing aid and watching my own tv I found the dialogue and programme didn't match. What I could hear was my neighbour's tv which was on the opposite side of the room to the party wall which eas amplifird. I mentioned it jokingly to his daughter who promptly got him headphones.

TroysMammy · 20/02/2021 20:14

Was amplified

ImaginaryCat · 20/02/2021 20:18

Does she have an assigned social worker? When my mum was diagnosed with dementia she got one who visited weekly. That's an ideal person. Failing that, ask the carers. I don't think there's an issue with impartiality.

SpudsandGravy · 20/02/2021 21:17

This prolly isn't possible, but could you move your rooms around? I.e. change how you use them, to get as far away from the noise as possible? Many years ago a young couple moved in next to my mum, and the bloke went out of his way to be noisy and loud with their television. Fortunately my mum was able to swap what had been her sitting room with what had been a dining room, which solved it for her.

Puffthemagicdragongoestobed · 20/02/2021 22:18

This reminds me of one of the rented flats we lived in many years ago. It was the basement of a Georgian townhouse in Islington. Sounds grander than it was. It was quite a small house actually but the landlord had divided it up into three 2 bed flats, one per floor. He had the ground floor flat, right above us, but lived elsewhere. For some reason, maybe security concerns, he had left the radio on permanently in his flat. It was so loud, and it was on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. No respite! Horrendous! Kept me up at night,
Eventually we did ask him to turn it off, which thankfully he did.

Spickle · 20/02/2021 23:37

I am sorry you are having to deal with this, it can't be easy and must be very stressful.

I have a mum who is 91 and very deaf. She lives on her own and is not mobile. Apart from me and my family, the only other visitors are the carers, so the TV is company for her. Being on her own is lonely and isolating and this is the only pleasure she has now as she cannot go out without someone taking her. She has the TV on very loud, because she struggles to hear what is being said. It must also be said that diction on TV is quite poor nowadays, especially when there are background noises/music. Where possible she does have subtitles on and then turns the volume down. Luckily her next door neighbour has never complained (it's a semi), mainly because the house seems to have been very well built with thick walls. I don't think he can actually hear her TV, even though it is next to the party wall.

I'm sorry that I don't have a solution for you, but I guess if you could try to imagine yourself in her shoes, 92 years old, deaf and the TV being the only source of entertainment in her twilight years, as well as considering that this could be any of us in the future, maybe trying those earplugs or swapping rooms might be the compromise.

At least it will end at some point in the not too distant future.

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 21/02/2021 00:18

You've tried being nice about it and you've tried speaking to the family. Your next step is environmental health. Seriously, your neighbour could live until she's 100! You deserve peace and quiet. There's no reason why your neighbour can't use hearing aids or headphones. She doesn't have the right to disturb you and keep you up at night just because she's old and lonely.

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 21/02/2021 00:21

I'm very aware of how nasty my post came across. I have sympathy for the neighbour and how awful it must be to be elderly and alone but I have more sympathy for OP and how it's impacting on her life, especially when there are simple solutions that the neighbour/the family can put in place

Wingedharpy · 21/02/2021 00:59

OP, you have my sympathy too.
I don't have a deaf neighbour but I do have a deaf husband.
He also likes to watch TV, while listening to the radio, and falls asleep with the radio on every night.
Having constant noise coming at you all day is exhausting and truly does impact on your ability to think straight.
I bought him a pillow speaker for the bedtime radio when our young next door neighbours moved in with their young baby.
I didn't want potential neighbour disputes due to his radio disturbing their child at night.
I agree with @Spickle, regarding the poor sound on modern TV- the speakers are very small and often in the wrong place ie. facing backwards rather than forwards.
However, in this day and age with all the technology we have, there really is no excuse for people to be disturbing others with their electrical gadgetry, particularly if they have family who could help with sorting this.
Funnily enough, we took delivery yesterday of the speaker, that @NachoNachoMan linked to.
I don't work for Sony or Amazon but we are truly impressed with it.
You can lift it out of it's charging "pod", like a little handbag, and have the speaker sitting next to you.
Your DM may find it helpful Spickle.
I can't hear DH's telly at all now.
Bliss!

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