Elderly neighbours tv.........

[Tolkienista]

It's 7.25am and if there's a rock bottom I've hit it. Moved into this semi detached house in 2019 and it is beautiful, only problem, I have a 92 year old woman next door with mild dementia who has her Tv on from morning to night and often (not always) at a high volume. For some strange reason the sound comes through the walls/ceiling louder upstairs and on many occasions it wakes me up........this morning at 6.15am. I'm in the back bedroom now, with ear plugs in and I can still hear it. Downstairs is a right through lounge.

I've spoken to her son and daughter who have no interest in seeing things from my viewpoint (when we call round her tv's never on that loud) and are happy to keep her in the house for as long as possible. Last year, her son in law said, well I can hear myself speaking, so it's not that loud and walked away. She basically sits in front of the tv all day, it never goes off. My only saviour are her carers who come in twice a day and will turn it down.

Her neighbours on the other side (not attached) know what I'm going through and even googled how to set a volume limiter on her tv and messaged her son with the details, that was back in October, nothings been done since.
I know this will come to an end, but going to bed and knowing she may get up the next morning and have her tv on so loud is relentless.

Anyway, I feel so much better for having written it all down and vented my feelings. I live on my own and as I've said, this morning was really my rock bottom, i just can't see an end to it.

The semis up where my mum lives are horrendous for sound. The houses were built in the 60s but I swear the party wall is made of tissue paper! I did warn my sister when she was after a semi up there. Luckily theirs is detached as they have the tv blaring all day - dad's a bit deaf now. But we're in a new build terrace and you can barely hear a thing from the neighbours. I have no advice. I'm sorry. It must be awful. The carers sound good eggs. Maybe keep trying to get them on side?

Thanks again for all the extra comments, they truly are helpful in putting things into perspective. It's the family.I have annoyance with. If a neighbour called round to.me and said they could hear my tv, I'd be apologetic and turn it down, knowing that living in a semi you're sharing a wall for the duration of your days in the house and it's not fair to impact on another family's lives.

Her last time out of the house was the end of Dec for her first covid jab, since then it's been eat, watch t.v. sleep, repeat.

Do you have the funds to sound proof your bedroom? Failing that, try buying a sound silencer headphone like Bose? I sleep with one and it’s bliss...

By a remote control for her tv and just keep tuning it down .

OP you are not the only one . We live in a selfish intolerant world these
days. The elderly are a nuisance often because they lack the company
or attention they need as they age.
Someone here suggested they should have a social worker.
How is the country supposed to afford this?
I presume when you become old and it is your turn you will have loads
of company so you will not have to watch the TV all day?

^Someone here suggested they should have a social worker.
How is the country supposed to afford this?^

They will be entitled to be assessed by the social work team as they are deemed vulnerable - living alone with dementia. They will then be able to make or arrange to have necessary adaptations - a personal alarm (if they fall they press it to summon help), support rails, etc.

I don't think we have a choice, as a nation, to decide if our country can 'afford' it or not - we have a moral obligation and an aging population that means as a country we have to find a way to afford it. Like all public services, social care is underfunded, but I'm sure if you or someone you loved needed that support, you would want the best support available.

It’s not for everyone, but have you thought of listening to white noise while sleeping? I realise it is more sound, but I love it. I have a white noise machine I use whole day sleeping which muffles all other sound out.

I really feel for you and yes as others have said it wont go on forever, but realistically your neighbour could live for another several years.
I work in sheltered accomodation and visit the elderly in their flats for a chat. Every single one of them have their tv's on all day and the volume is on very loud. The first thing I have to do before we chat is turn the volume right down or mute it. It is impossible to have a conversation without doing so,. Your neighbour's son is being very ignorant and I am assuming he has to raise his voice to have any kind of conversation with his dm through that racket.
Most of the residents I deal with have dementia and are not capable of handling a tv remote control anymore, so the volume is set by others.

Thanks again for all the extra comments, I've really enjoyed reading them and it's helped to put my problem in perspective. Particularly found your comment crimsonlake, enlightening. I just can't imagine sitting in front of a TV from the moment I get up to the time I go to bed. Her family never take her out for a walk or a drive in the country side, just to get some fresh air and a different view away from home.

@Justpassingtime1 it was me who mentioned her possibly having a social worker. My mother was assigned one after she was diagnosed with dementia. I was concerned about her being at risk of financial abuse. I needed an outside agency to support me trying to keep her safe, because I couldn't take on those battles alone.
I don't understand your question about how we as a country can afford it. How can we afford cancer treatments? How can we afford furlough?
We find the money because we have a duty to vulnerable members of our society. Yes, the explosion of dementia as a result of an aging population is creating a huge financial burden. So is the increase in physical ailments. But please don't single out social care as the first thing we should cut, because in many cases it's far more necessary than medical services. It's preventative rather than cure.

Yes but why can't the community be more supportive of/ attentive to
the less fortunate.
Of course there is a risk of financial ,emotional abuse but there must be
some people in the community you can trust

Because there's a huge difference between friendly local neighbours checking in and doing a bit of shopping, versus a trained professional with access to the contact route for the vast array of support agencies and knowledge of the system. You simply can't ask well-meaning Joe Bloggs next door or even family members to replace the intervention of a social worker.
Mine (or rather my mum's) was essential when getting my mother assessed and into emergency care. She guided me through the financing paperwork. She became the first point of contact for police, as I couldn't obviously be neutral and provide a professional view on my mother's mental capacity when she broke the law.
She came to the funeral. Long story short that woman was a bloody godsend while I navigated this fucked up disease and what it did to my mother.

Hello! I am sandwiched in a terrace between two noisy families with many kids each, I feel your pain re: constant noise! - obviously as they're home schooling at the moment, it's just chaos. I've just got myself one of these and it has saved my sanity!! Majority of the time I can hear nothing, just my own little cocoon of white noise - Marpac Dohm Classic White Noise Sound Machine. Type that into Amazon.

A TV cannot work if it cannot get a reception :-)

Thank you for your suggestion of the white noise sound machine, going to look that up as soon as I finish this post......

Oh god, my Nan is 96 and does this.....my parents have tried everything, but ...she does not understand. Can't operate the remote, won't understand hearing aids etc. Carers get her up at 5.30am......TV on. As long as she has any capacity at all you are stuffed.