How many bedrooms 9 people

[Toomanybedrooms]

Ok, long time lurker, but have never needed to make an account - until now!

So, we are thinking of moving house with:

Me
DH
DD - 8y
DS - 6y
DD - 3y
DD - 2m
DM - in 70s
DH - in 70s
DBro - learning difficulties so lives with Parents

How many bedrooms are going to need for this? We can get annexes and what not for parents and DBro.

We currently live in a 3 bed small semi. Me, DH and DD2m in big bedroom. DD8 & DS6 in double bedroom. DD3 in tiny box room.
We were very tight on space but managed.

Recently my parents have been struggling themselves and can’t look after my DBro either.
We thought it was time for a move.
But I’m confused on how many bedrooms we are going to need.

Would it be 7 - one room each for the kids.
Would it be 5 - two of the kids share.

Do you have any other suggestions???
What do you work with?

sorry for long post!

TIA :)

I think you probably need at least 6 long term.

2 DDs sharing
1 DD on own
DS on own
DP
DB
You and DH

6? You and DH, DS, 1 DD, 2 little DDs share, your parents, and Dbro.

I think - although my maths is poor - you need 6 bedrooms at least.

One for you and DH
One for your DM and DF
One for DB
Then your two youngest DD could share
DS (6) gets his own room
DD (8) gets her own room.

Any less would be tricky.

@RandomMess
@Chocolatepeanuts
@NovemberR

I think you may be right.
I am rubbish at this! :(
DAH DAH DAAAAHHHH!!! MUMSNET TO THE RESCUE!

THANKS :)

Off point but be careful. It sounds as though as well as 4 children and a you are also going to be taking on full responsibility of your brother in the not too distant future. Assuming age or health is the reason your parents need help with your brother, you could also potentially be taking on responsibility of both or one of your parents in their old age. This is an awful lot to take on.

Will you be needed to help look after your DB and your parents? Is that practical with 4 young children too?

@Alexandernevermind
@ineedaholidaynow

Ohhh I know!!!
It’s going to be terrible!

My responsibility of 4 young kids, a disabled brother, 2 old people is going to be a nightmare!
Luckily my DCs are —strangely— grown up! Not the average mental 3,6 and8 year old. Quiet calm tbh. Better not jinx it!

The only thing is, DD2m has colic! So cries quite a lot. So I was maybe thinking of having her in my and DH room until she settles a bit. Suppose it doesn’t make much different as she would move into DD3’s room after she has settled.

You need to think carefully about this @Toomanybedrooms, this could really impact your children (never mind you). It might sound like a nice idea but you need to be realistic how hard this could get

Think about the bathroom provision for the number of people (not just number of bedrooms) and the amount of living space. Especially if some of the children are sharing you're going to need space for people to escape to / study quietly

I'd say 6 as a minimum too although if one of your parents deteriorates they may need their own bedroom too. Perhaps an annexe with a room to be used as a living room that could be changed to a bedroom later if need be. That takes it up to 7 .

But equally it could impact your children in a good way. Giving them empathy, a feeling of family and sharing.

I think multi generation households are the future. 5 bedrooms absolute minimum, 7 would be ideal.

I know you've flippantly said you know it'll be hard work, but seriously don't underestimate it. You could well end up in hospital with a breakdown being a carer for 7 people. If you're serious then get one or two spare bedrooms so you can buy overnight care.

Can you transition to your db going into residential care?

And your kids however 'mature' they are won't be at a nice compliant stage for long. Teens come with their own challenges and need their parents' time. Which they won't have.

As PP have sad It’s not just about bedrooms. I’d want at least 3 receptions rooms, dc will definitely need their own snug come playroom etc and you may want them to have their own rooms at some point. Perhaps a 5/6 bed house with a 2 bed annexe.

Bathrooms?
What about limited mobility now or in the future?
Personally I think you are nuts to consider it but you know the situation best

What is your budget? Six bed houses are fairly unusual. SIL has one but it’s ££££

12 so all the staff you will need have a room.
Good luck to you, it sounds awful, but I am a crotchety loner and I'm glad some people like their family enough to do this.

Do you work @Toomanybedrooms?

Thanks for all the help. We were thinking of an annexe for parents maybe???
Residential care for DB is quite a good idea acctually. I’ll look into that, @titchy

Bathroom and living space did occur to me though. We have been looking at that too.

@ineedaholidaynow yes both me and DH work. Though I am on maternity leave moment. DH works in IT and is working from home at the moment.

Thanks again! :)

Is there a reason you want one big house instead of like two house close together?

As well as enough toilets and bathroomsand a couple of living rooms at least, do you need a downstairs bedroom suite, or two even possibly, to future proof for parents, and maybe DB?

If you work how will you provide care if needed?

Do your parents live locally to you now? Will they still have access to their friends/activities?

@AIMD - my parents wanted this. I thought it would be a good idea though…
@Scarby9 this is why I was thinking an annexe. Like a ground floor annexe??? I have not a clue!
@ineedaholidaynow I thought this is why living with parents was a good thing. i need to go to work but DC is I’ll. i ask my parents if they would look after them until I come back would that work? Not a clue!

How independent is / could, your DB be?

If yes (even if currently overly enabled) then get something with an annex. That way your DP & DB can have some independence & privacy.

& you get to ‘shut the door’ when you guys need the same.

Also, further down the line they might need overnight carers etc... so it would be less disruptive for all.

*ill
bloody phone!

How about two 3 bedroom semis next door to each other?