Buying a house you don’t like

Starllyow · 2020-12-22T21:27:38+00:00

Is anyone else doing this? Sale is proceeding, we’re due to move end of January. We don’t really like the house it’s just practical and in the right location. If we pull out there’s not really much else on the market. Would we even sell ours again at this point, I really don’t know. Looking for some stories of this situation working out alright in the end?!

Napqueen1234 · 22/12/2020 21:29

Is it a house you could grow to love? Im a very emotional house buyer and have fallen in love with the houses we have bought rather than necessarily being practical about it but I understand sometimes you need to be a grown up! What are the good things about the house?

Horseradish01 · 22/12/2020 21:32

What do you like and what don’t you like about it?

Puffthemagicdragongoestobed · 22/12/2020 21:34

We didn't fall in love with our house straight away. We moved here because of the school catchment and the garden. We are about to do lots of work to the house. This will make it ours and I am sure I will be loving it then. Since we moved here a year ago I have not seen a single house come to the market in our price range that would have been better.

Original poster

Starllyow · 22/12/2020 21:34

No we won’t grow to love it. It’s not a lovable house. This may sound strange but I don’t feel it’s a happy house. There’s nothing objectively wrong with it. It’s newly renovated, easy to move in to, in the right location and practical (big drive, new appliances, good layout, fair sized plot). I don’t like it though and I can’t really explain why. That sounds so silly I know.

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Original poster

Starllyow · 22/12/2020 21:36

Main thing is: it’s the right school catchment and that’s really important for now.

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RandomMess · 22/12/2020 21:37

Our house is ugly I'll never love it.

Original poster

Starllyow · 22/12/2020 21:41

@RandomMess does it bother you?

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RandomMess · 22/12/2020 21:42

A bit but then all the ones I LOVE and are large enough we can't really afford 🤷🏽‍♀️

SimplyRadishing · 22/12/2020 21:43

Is it a forever house?
if it's for 5-7 years I'd crack on.

I really really didnt love our house (to the point I continued to look on right move for 2 years) but e agreed to move and had sold so needed to crack on
I found a couple of rooms I could redecorate and make loved/ mine and I .happy here now. It is the right location, layout, size and condition and it works for us - do I love it? No. Can Iive happily here? Yes.
The reality is you could be waiting for an age and nothing better appears.
I was sure we had mistepped but honestly in the 2 years!!! I was looking nothing came up that was better than our current house on rightmove. (My husband is v smug about this)

firsttimekat · 22/12/2020 21:45

I didn't love our house but we had to move out of London ASAP. We bought a house to grow into and unfortunately things didn't really pan out so it's always felt a bit wrong. We are in the process of buying something else that I'm really excited about.

Does it have to be a forever house? Can it be for now if it helps with school catchments?

Original poster

Starllyow · 22/12/2020 21:49

It’s not forever (I hope!) the plan is to move again in 3 - 5 years once dc are in primary school. It’s livable, it’s just not lovable!

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Original poster

Starllyow · 22/12/2020 21:53

@RandomMess ha ha ye fair enough!! Thank you

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Jenifirtree · 22/12/2020 21:54

Im in exactly the same position. Apart from dh loves it. It isnt to my taste at all. Ive more than once wished the buyer would pull out.

RandomMess · 22/12/2020 21:55

I do dream about spending £35k to make it much nicer but we wouldn't make it back.

ReefTeeth · 23/12/2020 08:21

I didn't particularly like our last house. But dh did.

I dreamt about moving for 5 years. Then I put french doors in the kitchen and it was so much better.

We sold after 7.5 years, made a huge profit and now am mortgage free.

Needs must OP. Nothing has to be forever.

HelebethH · 23/12/2020 09:09

My biggest concern is you say "you don't feel it's a happy house" . Big red flag and I would suggest listening to your inner perception, gut feeling, sixth sense or whatever you want to call it. I don't think you are being silly at all

TiredMary · 23/12/2020 09:16

We didn’t love our house when we moved in to it, but it was in the right area, near good schools, and we we were the first to view, put in a cheeky offer and had it accepted. This was after months of looking and being outbid on anything we remotely liked or that fitted our needs.

No regrets, 12 years later. I still don’t love the house but I have grown to be fond of it, as our children have grown up here. It’s served it’s purpose well, too. Kids have gone to good schools and the convenient location for shops, transport and being near family has benefitted us enormously.

lurch3r · 23/12/2020 09:17

I didn't love our house. It was dark, sad and unloved with no 'character' and we found that the family selling it to us was splitting up with lots of anger. I never thought we'd stay more than 3 years. However, 20 years later, we are still here because actually the location is terrific for us, the schools have been great and my children really benefitted from living here. I feel grateful affection towards this building, which sounds a bit mad but I think it is pleased that we came. Also, you could get a cat: they make any old dump feel like home.

FurierTransform · 23/12/2020 09:20

Most people just see their house as a box to keep the rain off. Sounds like you're not planning on living there forever anyway. Moving for utility is normal. I wouldn't worry; assuming there's nothing tangibly wrong with It/the area that will fester into a living nightmare in a few years?

TiredMary · 23/12/2020 09:36

@lurch3r

I didn't love our house. It was dark, sad and unloved with no 'character' and we found that the family selling it to us was splitting up with lots of anger. I never thought we'd stay more than 3 years. However, 20 years later, we are still here because actually the location is terrific for us, the schools have been great and my children really benefitted from living here. I feel grateful affection towards this building, which sounds a bit mad but I think it is pleased that we came. Also, you could get a cat: they make any old dump feel like home.

Yes, grateful affection sums up how I feel about our house, too!

Livinghereisok · 23/12/2020 09:37

We're in a similar position, downsizing to a much smaller plot, garden etc to be nearer schools, park, nicer area. I'm struggling as I don't like the house and would never have imagined it's what we'd end up in, but it's what was available at the time we sold, in our budget and has everything we NEED. I keep reminding myself we can always move again in 10 years time when the kids are in high school if we want.

It's hard to let go of the dream of a 'forever house' as that's what we thought we were buying when we moved to our current home and both DH and I had in our own childhoods. But it turns out priorities change and I'm pinning all my hopes on the lifestyle change the new house will bring feeling safe and happy in the area with nice neighbours (hopefully!).

As we've hit our 40's many of my close friends have also had to kill off the 'forever home dream': one divorced and had to sell up, another ended up with horrible neighbours so is moving, another couldn't face the renovation work needed to make their gorgeous period property work longer term so moved to new build.

snappyoldfart · 23/12/2020 09:40

I was going to say depends on how long you plan on staying, I don't like our house but I've agreed a 5 year plan and I'm happy with that as I can see how the location works so well but I'm not a fan of the physical house. I also know I'm not trapped here, it's a stopgap.

RandomMess · 23/12/2020 09:53

Grateful affection, I can relate.

I thought I'd be devastated leaving the home I had the DC in and we relocated when the youngest was 9. I had to go back weekly for a few months and it was empty.

I'm a sentimental person but it was just bricks. I would you back to our minging rental that was freezing cold and so you know what that was "home" because my kids were there.

Original poster

Starllyow · 23/12/2020 10:00

Thanks everyone!! I know what you’re saying is right really, I shouldn’t be so emotionally involved with what is essentially a roof over our heads in our favourite location. It’s the same location we already live in, we’re not changing areas and want to remain here for school reasons (plus it’s just a nice lace to raise children). I don’t like the look of the house, the feel of it inside. I always imagined living in a pretty house and this just feels like someone else’s home, not mine. It feels sad and the thought of moving there makes me feel sad. I think I’m probably being daft. Someone congratulated me on the house yesterday and it made me physically wrench up a bit inside, I wanted to scream “I hate the house!!” But everyone seems pleased for us and thinks it’s a little step up for us from where we are now. It’s practical and would make sense for a few years. Ahhhh it’s like letting go of a fairytale dream in a way... it’s just sad and not what I want. Hopefully we’ll move again in a few years as planned!

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Iamhangingin · 23/12/2020 10:07

As a single woman bought a house I absolutely loved (listed building, 17th century cottage, amazing kitchen, fire places) - quickly turned into a nightmare and was seriously unpractical. I bought a house this January. Very ugly, not what I was planning on but it was very practical, right location, price, excellent for the kids (and if I didn't have them I'd have never even considered it).

Every day Im grateful we moved. Obviously I didn't anticipate covid but it's turned out to be the perfect home. Neighbors are lovely, quite, safe, kids have enough room not to be on top of each other. There are no rooms I love, but nothing I hate either. It just all feels very comfortable.

Not sure if that helps. I know with children we need to make different decisions. If you have to move but really hate this house can you rent and wait for something else to come on the market?