Competitive neighbours

[Christmasspirit100]

This has been ongoing for a while but each time our neighbour on one side of us got wind or seen a delivery van/workman at our house they have tended to copy exactly what we have had done to our home within a matter of days. Several years ago We excavated the front garden to put in a driveway and within a week our next door neighbour was doing the exact same. Earlier this year we put in plans for a kitchen extension and now the neighbours on the other side of us are getting are new kitchen put in and our the other next neighbours immediately got the painters and decorators in and started renovating as soon as they were notified. They also yelled at us while in our garden saying that they hope we would move and we were stupid to do an extension. I know I shouldn't let this bother me as they can do what they like to their property, but I do find it all a bit bitchy. Any thoughts on their behaviour? Both neighbours are older than us if that makes any difference.

they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery they are paying to copy you

Bad neighbours can be a pain in the ass. I would engage with them as little possible while remaining polite. Try not to get into conversations or becoming involved in their stratagems.

I do my best to stay civil and keep out of their way as much as I can. I just dont get why people go out of their way so much to do these things and cause tension. It's weird.

If it really is a matter of days then at least some of it could be coincidental. In my experience, there's always a lead time for trades - I don't know how they'd get people so quickly, unless they'd already been scheduled anyway.

Their spiteful nature is hard to live with at times for sure. I just hope it calms down at some point to make it more livable here and make our investment worthwhile.

You need a nude statue....

I find it very hard to believe they can 'copy' you in such a tight turnaround. Anyone who has tried to get a builder/ landscaper to commit to a firm deadline not too far in the future can attest it's like herrings' teeth.

I know, I find it strange too how quickly they get tradesmen, but one is in the trades business so has contacts for sure and the other also has contacts with his job. We unfortunately don't, so like anyone else have to wait.

Lol a nude statue...that would do well :)

I think you are being really weird for thinking you are inspiring your neighbours to do a kitchen extension and a driveway... do you really think they wouldn’t have had the idea if it weren’t for you? They are perfectly standard things to get done and not unusual at all.

Maybe if you watched the neighbours less you might have a happier life!

I dont think it's strange that they're getting it done, it's just the timing of it being days or a week or two from them seeing us or getting notification we're doing it, then them doing it so quickly after. Trust me, I dont spend all day watching my neighbours, it's just difficult getting in and out of our house when their workmen block driveway without any notification and cause damage to our property for us not to notice them doing the work to be honest.

I suggest a friendly word with your neighbours about workpeople blocking your access. If that does not do the trick a firmly worded letter hinting at "further action".

My neighbours are shitpigs. They decided to replace the fence between the properties (without consulting me) and their workmen turned my garden into a building site. Some of the (recycled) fence panels would not fit between concrete uprights so they got an industrial grinder going in MY garden. No helmets, goggles or danger men at work notices.

I gave the workmen 5 minutes to depart before the police were called and they hopped back onto her property pretty quick. Subsequently the bitch tried to get a contribution from me towards the cost of replacing the fence. I told her I would consider making a contribution when I see itemised receipts for NEW fence panels and work done by a properly qualified company and not a gang of navvies off the dole. So far these have failed to materialise.

Last year my opposite neighbour had similar work done and quarry tiles laid. A proper liveried van, safety gear, men at work signs, and a big notice with the name and contact details of the company outside. As a result they got more work from me and other neighbours because we were impressed with their professionalism.

The only thing about your post that concerns me is that they yelled at you that they hoped you moved! That level of animosity would actually make me want to move.

I think you sound pretty childish to be honest. It's very telling that you seem more concerned they're 'copying' you than shouting at you to move! There's clearly a lot of history here, surely you have some idea when/why the animosity started? I can get that the bad feeling would be upsetting but cannot comprehend why, even if your neighbours ARE deciding to renovate because you are, this would annoy you so much? A source of amusement yes, but feeling victimised by it all, rather odd

They 'yelled' at you, and called you stupid for doing an extension/wanting to improve your own house? Just tell them to off!

You sound like a bit of a weirdo to be honest, given your preoccupation with your neighbours business. I hardly think other houses are "copying" you by getting work done.

We have a set of neighbours who seem to copy whatever we or their adjoined neighbour seem to do. It is really weird. It started when their adjoined neighbour painted all their fences a rather "on trend" colour. Next weekend, copycats do the same (fences and garden neglected previously). We update all our windows and doors, within the month...copycats do the same. Our window fitter even told us they cornered him and asked for a quote. We have the kitchen done, within about 3 months, the copycats do the same. Adjoined neighbour puts hanging baskets along their fence, copycat does the same. Numerous other examples, but those are the ones which spring to mind.

We all find it slightly odd. When we had the kitchen done, we said to each other that the copycats would get wind and do theirs within a few months. It started after the neighbour's new partner moved in. The house had never been touched beforehand.

It did shock me when they yelled about our proposed works etc. but it's only been the once so I haven't thought much about it since. Their competitive behaviour has been occurring for a while which is why I seemed more bothered about that. Theres a pattern of it. That's all.

Put some pampas grass in the front garden and invite them in for a drink?

Leaving the yelling aside, why does it matter if they copy you? If you’re all making improvements to your homes you’re adding value and making them more attractive to potential future buyers as well as getting the benefits yourselves while you live there.

Other than the yelling I can’t see the issue. Why can’t they have a drive way or new kitchen etc? Is there some sort of grace period where only you’re allowed to have it?

Ans no way anyone is getting workmen in with one or two weeks notice to do this sort of work, which means they had it booked already.

Op is it possible you’re the competitive one?

I genuinely can’t understand why you’d be remotely upset if a neighbour gets a new driveway, extension or the decorators in. Why would you remotely give a shit.

Which leads me to believe it’s you that’s competing.

Those are all perfectly normal things to do to a house that they were probably planning to do as well. MAYBE they hurried it along because they didn't want the noise of your workmen building an extension for 2 months and then another 2 months of their own noise? You sound incredibly conceited by assuming that they're spending thousands of pounds to "copy" you. Do you understand how bonkers that is?

The thing you need to concern yourself with is why they seem to hate you so much that they're shouting at you and hoping that you'll move. Dig deep; do you play loud music? Are your children screaming all the time? Do you leave your garden lights on all night? Did you perhaps egg their house for a lark on Halloween and they've failed to see the funny side?

Ok so I'm the bad neighbour. Discussion over.