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Original poster

Buyers grief - lost out on a house & so gutted

68 replies

HelloRose · 13/11/2020 18:31

I wasn't sure where to post this but we lost out on a house I had completely fallen in love with. I'd mentally moved in (realise now this was a big mistake) and planned what we'd do to renovate and decorate. I was looking forward to seeing our children running around in the beautiful garden & imagining where we'd put the Christmas tree next year. I feel so stupid.

This is my first time buying (husband's 2nd). How to get over it? I feel like I don't even want to get back on Rightmove and start the process all over again. It's so demoralising. It was a lovely house in a perfect location.

We were out bid. We are chain free & so are the other buyers. The agent let slip what the final agreed price was. We could probably cobble together some more funds to match it but literally not a penny more so assuming they would counter offer we are screwed anyway. The couple selling have accepted so feels like a done deal and pointless now. I wish I didn't know what it went for as atleast I could think we were hugely outbid and perhaps be less annoyed.

I don't know where to go from here. Hope it'll fall through? My husband is more relaxed about it and says we'll find something else. I hope he's right.

Anyone been in this situation and went on to find their dream house?

OP posts:
Mhschoolq · 13/11/2020 18:43

Oh this has happened to me before! It is very heartbreaking. I had planned an extension, redecorated (I even worked out where I’d put the birth pool for a home birth I would never end up having either!!).

I will say, though, that years later I don’t wish I had the house. I do think about it every now and again, because it was very lovely. But I found things in the place I did buy that are better - our current living space has a better flow to it, for example.

About to be on the move again and aware this might happen again (if only we could decide WHERE to move to!), although this time I know I’ll eventually find the right house even if it doesn’t happen with the first one in love.

You will find the house for you and it will work out! Good luck!

inmylifeIlovedthemall · 13/11/2020 18:53

Yes, it happened to me twice !!

Once I went on to buy something equally lovely and the second time the original buyers pulled out and I got a second bite at the cherry.

Sort out access to additional funds in case it does fall though and make it really clear to the EA that you are waiting in the wings. In the meantime get back on Rightmove with an open mind.

Burnthurst187 · 13/11/2020 19:02

Another house will come along and you'll forget all about the previous house

Goldfish50 · 13/11/2020 19:08

This happened to me once and I was gutted. But a month or two later the agent rang me to say the sale had fallen through and was I still interested? I ended up buying the property (a lovely flat with a roof terrace) and was so happy there. It's still my favourite property I've ever lived in. Fingers crossed the same might happen to you, OP!

Ilikecakes · 13/11/2020 19:09

Don’t give up hope! We’re currently in the process of buying our ‘lost’ house - we were outbid originally but that sale fell through, it came back on the market and we snapped it up! Not a done deal yet, but we have everything crossed and it really feels now like it’s meant to be after all the grief we suffered when we lost out.

If it doesn’t come onto the market again, it really isn’t meant to be and everyone else is saying the right things as another house will of course come on, and you’ll forget you were ever obsessed with this one as you’ll love it just as much. Flowers it’s tough, but you’ll find your dream place.

Asiama · 13/11/2020 19:10

This happened to me too and a year later I bought something way way better. I was so glad that I had missed out on the first house!

GiraffeNecked · 13/11/2020 19:12

We bought a way better house, I’d been like you,convinced we’d never find another one.

There’ll be something better.

XherdanShaqiri · 13/11/2020 19:13

@Goldfish50

This happened to me once and I was gutted. But a month or two later the agent rang me to say the sale had fallen through and was I still interested? I ended up buying the property (a lovely flat with a roof terrace) and was so happy there. It's still my favourite property I've ever lived in. Fingers crossed the same might happen to you, OP!
A similar thing happened to me except I didn't buy it or move in, I'd actually seen other stuff I liked more in that time. Very happy to have ended up where I did.
mmmmmchocolate · 13/11/2020 19:24

I did this twice 🤦🏼‍♀️ I cried over the second house that we lost! Thankfully a few weeks later the buyers pulled out and we got a second chance. I got over the first house as soon as I saw the second house though, there will be other opportunities 😊

FreshFreesias · 13/11/2020 19:26

Lots of houses are falling through at the moment.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 13/11/2020 19:29

I genuinely cannot imagine being so invested in this one particular property! It sounds like something out of a fairy tale, not real life. I imagine it must be in a tiny village or hamlet somewhere where properties almost never come on the market. At least in London you usually get hundreds of options (even if the prices are insane).

Chloemol · 13/11/2020 19:41

This happened to me many years ago, but it was meant for a reason as I now live somewhere much better

Maggiethehorserustler · 13/11/2020 20:59

i had this exact same thing, and now I am SO GRATEFUL that I didn't get that house as the house I ended up buying is much better

rslsys · 13/11/2020 21:23

We put in a full asking price bid on a house that had been on the market for 18 months. The house had been a restoration project for husband and Wife Mk1. Wife Mk1 had moved on and Wife Mk2 didn’t like it and wanted rid. The estate agent really lost it when Wife Mk2 decided she didn’t want to move after all.
6 weeks later we found a much much better house (came on the market on Saturday, we bought it on Tuesday), been here for the last 26 years.
There is always another house and these things generally happen for the best.

ForthPlace · 13/11/2020 21:39

I always just put it down to 'if it's meant to be' and if not then something else is!

HumphreyCobblers · 13/11/2020 21:43

Don’t beat yourself up for mentally moving in - one you have to do that every time or you would want to buy the house.

It is so disappointing but all the pp are right, you will find another one.

HumphreyCobblers · 13/11/2020 21:44

Wouldn’t want to buy the house

joystir59 · 13/11/2020 22:26

Happened to me twice and each time I was gutted and didn't think I'd move forward. But I did and ended up with a much better house than either of the previous two I'd fallen in love with.

chloechloe · 13/11/2020 22:50

Sorry to hear that. You never know, the other buyer could fall through, especially in the current market - like a PP has said, make sure the EA knows you’re waiting in the wings. It could still work out when you least expect it!

A similar thing happened to me last week. We are looking to build our own house and found an amazing plot in a really lovely area where things rarely come on the market. We made an initial offer which was refused. We could have upped it, but the seller made clear he wanted a ridiculous sum, plus he refused to recognise several issues which our architect had flagged up which would have justified a price reduction. So we walked away.

I’m still gutted as I’d already started building our house in my head and could see the kids running round in the garden!

Fungster · 13/11/2020 22:52

We were outbid on our dream house. And yet here I am, sitting on it. The sale fell through and we were next in line!

wildroseandpink · 13/11/2020 22:56

Yes! We were offer accepted and had a buyer for our flat. Our buyer pulled out and we lost the house as they wouldn’t wait. I had really moved in, imagined it all. However, I’m now sooooo glad it fell through. I often laugh at how god must have had a plan.

We ended up not moving until a year later as we had to find new buyers, we got new jobs, our budget DOUBLED and we now live in a beautiful house in an amazing town where we never thought we could afford.

Mentally I’m moving again already though. I hate it but I also love the process.

ILoveYoga · 13/11/2020 23:48

We have owned 4 properties. We have never lived in our dream home - lost out each and every time ranging from losing our buyers. Sellers changing their minds and not sell, being gazumped etc

We briefly had our house on the market this summer but for various reasons, took it off. Part of that was we weren’t seeing anything we both really loved more than our house as we have made renovations (love, love, love my kitchen planned to my specification), decorated everything and have a lovely garden.

My pint is this - you’ll find somewhere. It might tick all the boxes but not be your dream home but it will grow in you.

ivykaty44 · 13/11/2020 23:52

House two up from me sold and fell through so another couple who lost out on it did get it after all

Go back to the agent and advise if it falls through then you are very serious about offering the same

Mimishimi · 13/11/2020 23:57

This happened to us last year. Right now we are literally setting up our new home which is equally beautiful/large and about 300k less than the offer we made last year :)

DramaAlpaca · 14/11/2020 00:03

We were gazumped on a house we loved, when I was about 7 months pregnant with DC1. I was really upset. However, we found a similar house on the same road within a few weeks and bought that one. It had a much nicer, more private garden and we were very happy there.

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