Buyers grief - lost out on a house & so gutted

[HelloRose]

I wasn't sure where to post this but we lost out on a house I had completely fallen in love with. I'd mentally moved in (realise now this was a big mistake) and planned what we'd do to renovate and decorate. I was looking forward to seeing our children running around in the beautiful garden & imagining where we'd put the Christmas tree next year. I feel so stupid.

This is my first time buying (husband's 2nd). How to get over it? I feel like I don't even want to get back on Rightmove and start the process all over again. It's so demoralising. It was a lovely house in a perfect location.

We were out bid. We are chain free & so are the other buyers. The agent let slip what the final agreed price was. We could probably cobble together some more funds to match it but literally not a penny more so assuming they would counter offer we are screwed anyway. The couple selling have accepted so feels like a done deal and pointless now. I wish I didn't know what it went for as atleast I could think we were hugely outbid and perhaps be less annoyed.

I don't know where to go from here. Hope it'll fall through? My husband is more relaxed about it and says we'll find something else. I hope he's right.

Anyone been in this situation and went on to find their dream house?

Yes it happened to me however in hindsight it was the right decision because we found a lovely house.
Also life circumstances changed and the house we lost out on would have been unsuitable.
So things happen for a reason you just don't know why right now.

I have never bought a perfect house, but one I can make perfect in time. Maybe that's because our budget has never been huge.

This happened to me- we were so so sure we were going to get it. We ended up in a much better house!!

Everything works out for the best.

The first time we bought a house, we had an offer accepted but they kept having viewings and another couple bid higher. So we matched them and it was a race as to who could get their mortgage offer and survey sorted first. We “won” but the house had a chronic rat problem in the loft and we had a seriously miserable few years there.

Second time around we lost out on a house and were really gutted. Then found something in a much better location, right in catchment for our #1 choice school (the other house was in catchment for a different school). I am so happy we didn’t get the other house.

I’ve had similar. Fell in love with a house on our first day of looking at properties after I found out i was pregnant. Lovely open plan living space. It went to sealed bids and we were outbid, although by a small amount. Every other place we saw was compared to that house and nothing matched up. Eventually we saw the house we ended up buying and it had the same open feeling that I liked about the first house, but was actually much better for us. The first house had a converted garage for storage but our house has an extra living room. The first house had an extra bedroom but all smaller than ours now. And we would have overstretched financially had we bought the first house. So it has definitely worked out for the best!

Thing is, I do believe that loosing out of houses helps you really understand what you need. And it’s natural to have a strong feeling to a house, it is an emotional purchase after all

It may come back on the market but even if it doesn't you will find somewhere else. I was desperate for one of our houses and finally got it. But it was the worst decision I ever made

I bet something comes along which is even better. I’m a firm believer things are meant to be.

Hello OP, I know this post is absolutely ancient but wanted to know how you got on. I'm in exactly the same position. I feel so silly (even though I know it's actually normal to grieve a lost dream). We lost out to a chain-free buyer who even offered less. I can't stop thinking about the house. The cut de sac was perfect. The school was 800m away. It's the best street in the area, etc. The feelings me are the same as like a teenage break up! Do you remember how long it took you to move on, emotionally? And... did you find another house? Thanks

Hello @sellotape12 Im not the OP but I did contribute to this thread.
I was in a very similar situation as you, lost out on our dream home and then we had to pause our moving plans for another 18 months. I was so disappointed.

However, we eventually sold our house and found another one, one that I love so much and is so much better for us as a family. Our children have made friends and we have brilliant neighbours.

I genuinely believe that this all happened for a reason. It’s so hard at the time, I really do remember it so well. But you will find something at the right time and it will be everything you want.

good luck.

I later became friendly with the person who outbid me! Met her through our kids school and couldn't believe it when she gave the address when we were asked round for a play date!

Pleased to say it wasn't nearly as nice as I remembered, abd the garden (which we hadn't properly seen, as our only viewings were on winter evenings) was very overlooked and I felt we'd ended up in an altogether better house.

Ah thanks so much for replying @checkedcloth and @Cola2534 . It's weirdly comforting to know so many other people have been through this. I am still moping around 9 days later. I'm hoping like you, Cola, that maybe it wasn't as nice as a I remembered it (it was the street that was perfect). And yes, I believe that everything happens for a reason too Checkedcloth - I just hope another better house is waiting in the wings. I don't want to sell ours and come off the chain which is what so many people are doing. We fixed a low rate mortgage until December 2024 so would be silly yo give that up.

Hi, sorry I only just saw your post @sellotape12 . We ended up buying a doer-upper in another nice area. I wish I could say it worked out for the best etc etc, but honestly I still think about the original house all the time and what could have been. It haunts me.
We never really wanted a full renovation project so I'm struggling with what we have taken on too. It's a lot. Perhaps also why I think about the other property a lot. I probably Google it every month just to torture myself - need to stop doing that.

Most people seem to find another dream house so I hope that is the case for you in time. Allow yourself time to 'grieve' and then launch yourself back into the market and look forward - that's the only advice I can give and was given to me. Good luck

Just lost out on my dream flat. I was competing with a developer looking to buy 2 simultaneously. Now I’m fucked as interest rates are going up and I will be forking out on crazy rent in London.

Blue ankles through kicking myself for been so dumb and not snapping up the perfect house in the perfect location.. viewed fell in love with the property (first one we veiwed) so thought we,d just view one more then realised the first was the one..
Decided to go for it and was beaten to it for "been to stupid to see what was the 'perfect house for us" ive
Actually cried over it so upset and angry with myself..
Id could see us been so settled and happy in this house.. knew where the furniture would go visions of my grandson playing in the garden .. dinner parties family get togethers.. Christmas,s.. new beginnings in a perfect home..
Praying now' literally " that the people who have put the offer in before me drop out..and my dream will come true and destiny will give us another chance.. 🙏
I do believe everything happens for a reason and we are given opportunities and its upto us to grasp these special things when they come our way..ive been terribly foolish ..not listening to my 'gutt' feelings...lesson learned..our heads are to busy these days with the next best thing.. makeing us blind to whats really been put infront of us.. it is almost like a grief.. realiseing you let something really special go through been a complete idiot.

Hi..we veiwed our first property after yr of searching and fell in love with it.. it felt like home soon as i opened the garden gate..
Everything i wntd in the petfect spot. Everything we had hoped for on our listt ticked ..my partner had wntd to view one more (just for benefit of the doubt) then realised also that the first property wS "the one' so we rang up to make an offer to ve told it had been sold to the couple who viewd it the day after us which upset me even more knowing it could of been ours!!! Had we not delayed..
My partner feels same.. weve been foolish.. we even went round to see the vendor and offer full price but it was already a done deal.. sounds ridiculous but i quietly cried i was so gutted... people say it cant of been meant to be but in my heart of hearts i know it was.. i listen to my gutt feelings and they are never wrong..these days people are always looking for the next best thing instead of realising that maybe whats infront of them 'is" what their looking for...
Knowing we made this mistake makes it even more upsetting..
We are given opportunities in life and we should always take them
We have searched at least 50 houses since and never come across one that gave us this is our"home' feeling..
Loseing that house is my biggest regret in my life so far.. and im 56..
Lesson learned..they say home is just bricks and motor when really it is a womb of some sort where our family grows and feels safe memories are made a place of contentment where our heads rests at night and our heart feel happy...listen to your gut feelings !

So glad I found this thread. I'm going through this right now.

I thought I made a good offer but missed out by a few thousand
I'd give anything to go back and raise my offer.
Could have scrapped it together added onto the mortgage.
I just don't believe I'll ever find such a flat again in the perfect location.
3 weeks on I'm still crying every night and had to take time off work.I'm still stuck renting on my own at 49 and feel I've plunged into a dark place.

Hope one day it'll be on sale again in the next 10 years.
I'm willing to wait and save every penny in the mean time.

I just want hope that I'll have somewhere of my own one day.