Are the Cornish really that unwelcoming/unfriendly?

[semidetached3]

DH and I are facing a very uncertain future due to the pandemic and as a result, we've decided to sell our house in the south east and massively downsize, to be mortgage free and provide ourselves with a few years of income.

It's been a highly stressful year and we just need a completely fresh start in a new place where we can begin again.

We've always wanted to live by the sea and both love Cornwall. We would like to live within a town ideally or possibly a village, as long as it has amenities.

However, I've been put off after searching Mumsnet and reading numerous posts from people saying how unfriendly the Cornish are to newcomers, and that you'll never be truly accepted or make friends unless your family have lived there for generations.

I was wondering - is this really the case? We have a young son (not yet school age) so he'd be starting primary school down there. Is it possible to make friends or would we be permanently excluded as newcomers to the area?

Also, we wouldn't want to live anywhere where the vast majority of houses are holiday lets and there's no real community (I'm wondering if St Ives, as beautiful as it is, might fall into this category).

Thanks for reading.

@semidetached3

That is good to hear *@Polyxena*, thank you!

In terms of location - Falmouth is also a possibility, although it's at the very top end of our budget (I think it's more pricey than the Penzance area?)

Falmouth is super pricey, but also very welcoming- due to the uni, it has a lot more movement in and out than some Cornish towns. Penryn can be expensive too, because of the uni, and there's also issues due to recent house price rises, that means it can be less welcoming of outsiders.

Being this far down can feel very disconnected from the rest of the country. If you are used to London, it may be a culture shock? A lot of East Cornwall is lovely, a bit cheaper and well connected to the rest of the country.

In terms of attitudes, it will vary. I notice, in some cases, people's attitudes change to me when I tell them my Surname is Cornish, and my family have lived in Cornwall for a long time. It's not that they are openly hostile, but there is a shift sometimes. There is a lot of racism and xenophobia too.

There are also loads of lovely people though, and in my experience the good people outweigh the bad!

It may take a while to be accepted as part of the community, though- some places are used to Londoners (or others) moving down and leaving within a few years as it's not really for them, which is another reason why people can be slow to want to make friends with newcomers to the area.

If you’re coming from London, choose where you live carefully though. It’s harder to find peers and like minded people because the numbers are smaller. And it can be easy to get it wrong. I probably wouldn’t move to somewhere like St Just or St Ives for that reason.

@OrangeSamphire how do you mean about St Just - is it not so welcoming to newcomers? St Ives isn’t on our list because although it’s gorgeous, it seems very touristy and is also extremely expensive. We’re looking to move somewhere that is less touristy and has a thriving local community all year round. I thought St Just might fall into that category?

Does anyone know anything about Mounts Bay Academy in Penzance as a secondary school? It sounds good from what I’ve read!

Falmouth is super pricey, but also very welcoming- due to the uni, it has a lot more movement in and out than some Cornish towns.

Yes, I’ve been looking at sold prices in Falmouth and think it might be just out of our reach unfortunately. I will keep an eye on Rightmove though as you never know!

There is a lot of racism and xenophobia too.

We live in a very multicultural area at the moment, so I do really worry about this.

Don’t move to Padstow though. Your children may well be bullied at school there.

This also really worries me, but I guess DS could encounter bullies wherever we live?

MN found out that the majority of the horrible “experiences” and posts came from 1 poster who used lots of different usernames to appear like many different people / opinions.

Haha - how strange!

Keep an eye out for subsidence in old mining areas, radon gas levels and damp, and bear in mind that job opportunities and salaries are limited.

Cornish PILs moan about “upcountry incomers”, but 3/4 of their parents were incomers themselves!

There are almost literally no minorities. We do struggle with this as we're Jewish and the schools are not very accommodating and at times have made feel my DD out of place. I have a very strong American accent and my only friends are other expats. Not from lack of trying but I do think people find me "odd".

I like the look of Falmouth, and south coast weather more gentler than the north coast.

Parking is an issue in some holiday villages/towns in the season.

St Just has some really strong points on both sides I think.

Plus side:

• great schools (used to be the best in the area, worth checking)
• artistic community so lots going on and yoga, craft fairs etc
• amazing community spirit and lots of really lovely people
• lafrowda! (Google it)
• great pubs and chippy
• near beautiful places and beaches
• not too horrendously touristy for now
• mixed community with people from council houses, small houses, farms etc
• freedom for the kids

Down sides:

• foggy! Have you ever visited in the winter? I’d recommend spending at least a week there in say January or February and seeing if you like it then
• remote and poorly served by public transport, facilities etc etc
• not much for kids to do except smoke weed in the Plen...

I would probably live there on balance, it has a bit of a sense of being out a limb and so people huddle together haha.

I agree about avoiding St Ives, it’s basically impassable in summer due to intense tourist traffic and narrow streets etc. Although I think people actually moving there would probably be welcome as opposed to second home owners!

There are definitely ways to be a good or bad “incomer”. Some new people do get others backs up by being snotty about locals/poor people (it’s a very poor area), lack of “necessities” (loud braying of “would you believe I had to order olive paste online? You can’t get anything round here I don’t know how people live” in the Co-op type thing), or assuming that locals are thickos. Also announcing that you are an “artist” - if you move to St Just, Newlyn or around there you’ll find that basically everyone is an artist.

BUT if you are friendly, want to get to know others (having kids will help) and throw yourself into stuff, people will take you to their hearts. And probably be glad to have friends they haven’t known for the last 20 years!

If you are buying a house, without a mortgage, be aware of structural problems in houses built with mundic block (made using Cornish mining waste).

The pandemic has brought out the worst in some people I'm afraid. Lots of Cornish folk were understandably very worried about the dearth of hospitals in the county and unfortunately some took this worry to the extreme.

I moved to Cornwall with my parents in the 80s so I've been here 35 years now and am married to a Cornishman. I had a few rocky years at school because I spoke 'posh' but as an adult I've not had any problems mixing and making friends.

Penzance is a long way down and a bit down at heel. I do have connections in St Just and it seems that there is a good sense of community there. I'm up on the north coast and can vouch for Wadebridge being a great place to live. Close to the beaches, thriving town with lots of independent shops and has a fantastic community feel. The A30 isn't far away and the nearest mainline station at Bodmin will get you into London in around 4 hours.

Not Cornwall, but I live in another tourist hotspot and got the same warnings when we moved here 20 years ago. I agree with many of the posts here. We moved to do work that benefits the community and we threw ourselves into village life. We haven't had any problems. Yes, there's the odd person who still talks about us as being "new" and we will never be quite the same as some of the families who have farmed the same land for centuries but we have never been made to feel unwelcome and we made friends easily. Our village is a good mix of long established families and people who have moved here and we are friends with all kinds of people. Both my sons were born here and my daughter was only 2 when we moved which probably also helped as we met a lot of people that way too. The children see this as their home, and have the local accent which I suspect does make some difference.
But the people that are disliked are second homeowners and landlords of holiday lets who contribute nothing to the community but push property prices up so that local young people can't afford to buy. The next most unpopular group are people who move from other areas into well paid jobs but don't integrate and are viewed as snobs. I know one or two families like this - they bus their children to private schools in the nearest city despite the local provision being very good, and drive them to "better" scout groups and sports clubs miles away too. Parents don't get involved with anything locally etc. That doesn't go down well. But then they probably dont know or care what local people think of them anyway so are probably perfectly happy with the situation.
But generally I have found that if you are friendly and make the effort to get to know and help people it is reciprocated. The "you'll never fit in and everyone will hate you" stories we got told before we moved are a very long way from the truth. We found a lovely community and made ourselves part of it.

That’s lovely @MrsAvocet - so glad you’ve found a great home.

Hate to say it but some of the “don’t do it everyone is unfriendly” types clearly don’t consider that the problem may be them. There can be a slightly strange “colonial” dynamic too with some people (esp from the SE sorry) thinking that they’re there to bring the good news about civilisation and everyone should be bowing down to their superiority - OP sounds really nice and I’m sure would not be like this though.

I wouldn't recommend Penryn (school is rough)

Have you had recent experience of Penryn school? DS and I visited a couple of months ago, and were seriously impressed by it. I put him down for it immediately- it's pretty oversubscribed at the moment, but we're in the catchment area and should get in. Although, Fressia, your point about racial homogeneity is valid- neither in the promotional video or during our visit did we see a SINGLE non white child

I'm not from Cornwall, and get along fine- there are a lot of us down here. Honestly? Cornwall has an ageing demographic, and needs younger people, families and children. I've come across very little discrimination re: not being from here, and I'd say my friends are about 50% local and 50% incomers. The discrimination is usually directed towards tourists (a bit), and second homers (a lot). I got pretty pissed off by a second homer on another thread airily asserting that she was coming down to stay- lockdown or no lockdown- and was "part of the community". NO love, you're destroying the community you claim to be part of.

Oh yes, and St. Just is...weird, wild and wonderful. Would definitely suit you if you were alternative- leaning . Although, I'd take note of the time it takes to get there, if you ever envisage setting foot out of Cornwall again. You have been warned....

I think seaside towns/villagers all over are unfriendlyish to second home owners and frankly I don’t blame them. However if your moving for good I reckon you’ll be fine.

Yes @crackofdoom our DC go to that school and haven't changed them because well they've been there for years and they have many friends they'd miss. But for example: this year it was found that year 5s we're passing around kiddie porn (or fairly suggestive photos of prepubescent girls) . The school did NOTHING. My DD was touched inappropriately by another child (although admittedly that happened a few years ago) the reply: children will be children. Mother shouting things like "slut" to other mother's at the playground. A couple of parents always smoke just outside the school and they haven't done anything either... The list goes on. I'm hoping that we'll move them for secondary school but they seem oblivious about what's happening around them so...

I've lived in Cornwall for much of my life, as a child on the Lizard, and in south east Cornwall since 1990. DS is at uni in Falifornia, and loves it. Falmouth has numerous wonderful coffee shops, staffed by graduates who can't bear to leave.

Cornwall isn't unfriendly, but people are wary of new arrivals and there is resentment towards second home owners, landlords of holiday lets, and people who move in and want to start running things "properly". The population has grown a lot in the last 30 years, to about 500,000 plus another 4 million visitors each year, so the traffic is getting congested every year. The western end of the county is far worse than the eastern end. The M5 in and out is gridlocked on Fridays and Saturdays in summer.

The downside is that there is no substance to the economy, and that tourism dominates. A public sector employee like a nurse or a teacher with a few years experience is considered well paid; the head teacher and GP will probably be among the top earners in any town.

It's not diverse and people of colour are a tiny minority, but there are masses of people from central and Eastern Europe working in food processing and agriculture.

Fressia Oh I see, you were talking about primary school and I was talking about the secondary! (which is rightly called Penryn College, so I might have confused the issue there).

@Fressia123 that primary school sounds like another primary school locally.

Mothers getting in fights on the playground at drop off is not unusual at my DC’s school the school had to remind parents not to swear in front of other children. And yet as we walked in to school last week one mum was calling another “a cunt”

Anyway Cornwall is lovely n all but it isn’t all “Joules families” and Frugi....

Nope, there is a LOT of deprivation here. It's the poorest county in England by some measures, and the wages/ house price ratio is the second highest after Kensington.

Watch BBC2 tomorrow (Sunday) at 8.10 pm for a look at Cornwall, warts and all.

No it's not true, I made the move to Cornwall five years ago and I love it down here. It was hard at first as I didn't drive (having a car in Cornwall is a must as the public transport isn't great) and getting used to not having the full range of shops etc.
I think it's easier if you live in one of the bigger towns as there is a lot more going on, particularly if you're moving from a city it will be a bit of a culture shock.

I moved to Falmouth I absolutely love it here, lovely town with lots to do, a stones throw from the beaches and it's very friendly. I lived in the midlands for a few years and I found it more unfriendly there than in Cornwall.

@semidetached3, I moved back to Cornwall in 1990 as a freelance. All my work came from London so I went there twice weekly for eight months a year, for 12 years until DS was born. I had a fax machine and a word processor, until the world wide web was invented. I had an all numeric email address. But I brought my work to Cornwall. Had I not, I would have had no option but picking daffs or pulling pints. And there was no minimum wage then. It was piecework.