44 have I left it to late to buy a big family home?

[Icantfindausername]

I live in a decent sized house and my children are 12 and 16, we are looking at moving but then think when children leave we will probably downsize as a 4 bed detached would be too big.

Cant decide whether to stay or enjoy a bigger house for a while.

How old were you when you bought your forever home?

Have we left it too late to enjoy a big house, had we might as well stay put now the kids are that age and just downsize when they leave home?

My in laws bought a huge house at 60 when both their kids had moved out. They always wanted it and came into some money and thought why the hell not.

Although depending on finances might be better to pay off your mortgage and enjoy spending a bit more.

Your kids might not leave for another ten years, depending on their future plans! Also, the equity gain (if house prices rise, which I think is unlikely short term but likely over eg 5-10 years) would be yours to keep..

If you are going to do it, don’t hang about

I’m 44 with no kids and I’d love a 4 bed!

Seriously, if you can upsize, I would. My friends with children are all thinking in terms of children needing to be there a while into adulthood.

Even if not, my mum is in a 3 bed. She’s 82. When dad died, a lot of people asked if she would move to a flat. But as it stands, as well as being the home she’s happy in, it means when she needs looking after, there’s no problem with me and my sister staying over.

Also no problem with any other visitors. Sometimes me and my goddaughter stay there - I’ve got a small one bed flat. I’d say a house is very unlikely to be too big unless it’s got 8 bedrooms or something!

We just bought ours last year when I was 39.

We bought ours at 50 and expect the DC won’t move out for at least another 10 years. We’ll probably stay in it for another ten years after that before downsizing. Paid a fair chunk in stamp duty but expect that will be dwarfed by the increase in house prices over the next 20 years. However, it wasn’t simply a financial decision, it’s coming home (and working in) a fantastic house. If you can afford it I’d say go for it.

I’d prefer to be mortgage free and have spare money for lots of travel or save it towards early retirement. You probably won’t want a big house when you’re older. They’re expensive to maintain/heat etc. and can just be a hassle. Loads of my 50 something friends are now downsizing.

We are moving to our ultimate house aged 45-50. There is room for the kids today and as they grow up, boyfriends and girlfriends, grandkids and the works..
We see ourselves staying there 20 years and then downsizing. All going well, touch wood, etc.!

It depends how much of a stretch it would be.
If you would.have to downsize soon it doesn't make much sense. But if you don't need to downsize then you may find a bigger house suits you and gives your children more freedom to.come back as needed to save up to buy/ with grand children etc.

48. The boys were 11 and 14 and had been sharing a room. We also needed to relocate for ds2's secondary special school, which was the big push.

We'd been mortgage free for a few years but our mortgage now is only just over 500 and we're overpaying while we can so we don't have it until I'm 70!

We didn't end up in a 4 bed, BTW, but have a chalet bungalow with a big kitchen diner plus 2 good sized reception rooms. Lots of room to spread out right now plus pretty future proof as we have a downstairs bathroom.

I wouldn’t hesitate. The number of bedrooms is a detail. I’m in my 60s (DC long gone) and we have loads of them. And bathrooms. And a big garden. DH and I like it and we don’t intend to downsize. In normal times friends and relatives stay here. We have space and everyone enjoys it. If we couldn’t afford it, we would sell though.

I would be inclined to buy a nicer house in a better location. 4 bedrooms isn’t a huge luxury. It doesn’t have to be bigger, just better. And 40s is plenty young enough to buy what makes you happy.

Trust me you won't want to downsize when they leave home. Ours is 4/6 bed (use rooms for other things) and the house is full when the stepsons and girlfriends all come to stay - even more so when they start having families of their own!

I figure we will want a bigger house for a while, when they're 20s-30s they may boomerang and I'd like to have space to host grandchildren etc if we have them! I don't see us downsizing until after retirement depending on how much we need the money.

We are more or less retired. Don’t want to move at the moment.

My parents bought a lovely 4 bedroom cottage at 60, both kids adults with children of their own. We loved visiting them as it was in a lovely rural location. If you can do it then why not

We're retired and moved last year. Exchanged a large three bed semi-detached cottage with huge garden to a four bed detached with smaller garden. There was no way I wanted to downshift - this house works perfectly for us. Two living areas, one of the bedrooms is used as my dressing room. We look after our grandson a few days a week and it's great to have plenty of space. I have several friends a bit older than us who have downshifted and the women aren't happy. I would absolutely always go for the most space you can afford, particularly with the uncertainty with Covid and being at home more.

If your kids are anything like mine, they’ll keep coming back with parents in tow!! Go for the big house.

Partners, not parents!

I was wondering @AgentProvocateur !!

I moved to a larger house when I was late 40s. My children didn't leave home until they were over 30. Many youngsters yo-yo these days, depending on jobs and relationships. My DB bought a larger house in his mid 50s. He wanted a nicer house and space for family to visit. I'm in my 60s and recently moved down to a 3 bed. I viewed smaller modern places but felt cramped as I am used to space and family still visit a lot.

We're a similar age to you, have no kids and in recent years have upsized to a 4 bed detached- its glorious! We've turned one spare bedroom into an office, another into a guest room, and the third into a guest room/hobby room- to be honest its surprising how quickly you can fill the space, even if its just the two of you. If you can afford it comfortably I'd say go for it!

If you're worried about it being too big when you're retired my feeling is that its more important to buy something that's low maintenance rather than something that's small. Friends of mine bought a huge, rambling modern-ish bungalow with a view to not having to move when they retire. Not my cup of tea, but it makes complete sense from that point of view; modern construction (so cheap to keep warm and not much maintenance to do), an easy to look after garden, practical, and all on one level.

We are moving to a bigger place - late 40s. We figured the kids would need space as teenagers/young adults- hopefully bring gf's/bf's / other half's to stay etc.
I am thinking we need more room for them for at least another 15 years.

Irrelevant of how old she is, our home will always be our daughters home. We bought this one when she was 17 and us mid to late forties. We love it here and our daughters room is her room she even decides how it will be decorated, even though officially she’s not lived here for five years. It’s still her home and her room.

We also have lots of guests and socialise a lot, so all the rooms get used. I’d not hesitate.

I must add that I wouldn't do it if it meant working until my late 60s to service a mortgage. OP, would probably be ok for twenty years and if you thought it was too much and/or too expensive to maintain you could always downsize. Sounds like lots of people don't, though.

We moved into a 5 bed when I was 38. 5 years ago. One primary age child. I do have 2 young adult SC so it would have accommodated them but they got their own places.

I love the space and it allows DH and I to each have an office to WFH. The only compromise is the garden is smaller. I'd downsize for a larger garden and more solitude.